I made it today but I would rather be anywhere but here. I do hope my writing is coherent enough. Cause I have plans of editing and putting it up in this sober state of mine. Let's see what this head of mine can conjure up.
Source
I want to drop my digital pen here but I really can’t. In times past, whenever I looked at the mirror what I saw was a joke even to me. How can one person have this much ugliness? Like how can anyone have a pressing board as a nose? Or was it the tummy that obstructed me from seeing my feet? I just saw a blimp whenever I looked at the mirror. my dentition was hilarious and as hilarious as it looked, I couldn’t share a laugh because I felt my smile was hurting in the eyes of those who looked at me. I wondered where I offended the gods to be blessed with this face and physique. I felt this way a whole lot of times and it hurt me every time I had to bathe or view a mirror.
To me, insecurities were second nature and had found a way to get to me. Thinking back, I feel I judged myself so hard and sort of projected the ugly blimp personality to everyone and I got that energy back. I got to the point where I got frustrated with being tied to that personality and I set out on ways to reconfigure my life and that was where I stumbled on affirmations and the effect of positive thinking.
When I stumbled on affirmations and positive thinking I thought it was gibberish and made no sense and what's the relationship between uttering some perceived positive waffle how people view and see me. I attended a conference and got to understand what guided these things and it was a lazy man's cheat code to navigating through life.
I got to realize affirmations had little or nothing to do with the outside world but had everything to do with your person and your perceived self-worth/value.
Cc: @oppongk