Rowan, On Saturday December 21, 2019 at 3:00 pm, the time has stopped for you. From that moment only your memory lives on forever.

And we have made many memories together. You were really my buddy, my companion and my great support in good and bad times.

Today already 1 week without you.

It feels so strange, and so recently, that I woke up every day with your big white snout that looked at me happily. Without your morning greeting ... That's where I am now, no more Rowan on my feet while writing. No Rowan pushing his face against me, and no Rowan happily jumping around when I walk back in after I have been away for a while. I miss you in 1001 things a day. With everything I do I notice how you were intertwined in my life. In my daily things.

The hardest thing I ever did.

And Rowan boy, it was hard to make that choice. But know that I have made the choice in your best interest. It was the hardest thing I ever did Rowan, and despite the fact that you didn't want to show pain, it is inevitable that you had pain. The cancer was so aggressive. You wanted so much ... but you couldn't. You were hampered in your functioning, and had already extremely difficulties doing what you needed to do. If we had waited a little longer there was a good chance that you would have got a intestinal rupture ... and that risk was just too big my sweet dog. You couldn't get cured, it was only a matter of days before things went wrong, and that moment dear Rowan, I didn't want you to experience that under any circumstances.

Unconditional love for 11 years.

You have been the best dog I could wish for for 11 years, you have been unconditional for me for 11 years ... and now I had to play for God, and make the decision to let you go. To save you from a terrible fate that would otherwise have been waiting for you.

Missing you ...

Believe me, Rowan, it really wasn't something I wanted to do. I would have preferred your presence here every day. Your big sweet face that would look at me questioningly when I was going to make your bowl. Your heavy bark that showed me that you were happy, your warm body against me, turning around me, pushing yourself against my legs ... Walking together. Laughing at you when I grab my camera, you were always as happy as a puppy because the camera was something very nice for you. You have had linked that since you were a puppy to “Doing fun things together”.

Never again ...

Oh Rowan, I really miss you in everything I do, and the realization that you are no longer there, and that you are not coming back, is hardly present. Sometimes I come back from walking with Myla and Lana, and I want to automatically grab your belt to go with you. Sometimes I automatically mention your name when I'm busy, just because I was so used to your presence around me. You were the dog that followed me everywhere. And when I say your name and you don't respond ... then the realization comes back to me a little harder. You are no longer there. You will never respond again ...

Never again …

Rowan ...

This is not the end
Because you were
You are
And will always be
My loving forever friend

Because of You
My days were filled with laughter
Joy was what we were after
I thought we’d be always together.

Because of You
My life was so much fun
In the rain and in the sun
In the forest where we used to run.

Because of You
I got out of the darkest depression of my life
you helped me with that hard strife
I learned to stop and smell the flower
Even when caught in a rainshower.

You showed me the joy of giving
And the simple art of living
You showed me unconditional love
And how to be strong and tough
You taught me about life
And the greatness of sacrifice…

You may have left my side
And made me sad and cry
But I know this is not real goodbye
‘Cos I can still find you inside
Our bond remains strongly tied
And the sweet memories we shared
Have not died.

You are my Forever Hero!