I need a dark room to sit, to feel my emotions, and to cry maybe. But life! Ahh... my life is here. It will not allow me to embrace my negative feelings.

It may sound crazy why anyone would like to feel bad where each of us try to skip that. Well, I think sometimes it's necessary to feel bad. Otherwise there would be no balance in our emotions, right. At least negative feelings are part of us and build what we are!

Ahh! I feel pain. It feels bad. It actually feels worse when I can't express myself why I'm feeling bad. It's not like I don't know but I can't tell for many reasons.

Wait, I know it's just not me. I know you have faced the same.

Sometimes I feel frustrated for no reason. Or I would say there are actually many reasons but sometimes I lose the courage to ignore them all. It's not possible to feel motivated and positive. And the inner struggle continues- should I ignore every negative thing happening around me or should I allow myself to feel bad. This time, unfortunately, my negative feelings became powerful!

I was trying to figure out what made me feel bad. Yeah, covid19 is definitely a reason. But I guess, my online life is also a great reason. It's not just 'fun' here in Hive or blockchain. There's so much going on, I know that you are well aware. Though I don't want to get involved because I have to put more time to my offline life. But I can't ignore everything.

The pressure this platform is creating is enough to feel crazy. Every other day a new drama, no?

And for me, I'm doing fine in my offline life but all of a sudden a stress takes over me. I start to think about Steem/Hive and this & that. I know, no one of us can't get rid of thinking this because it became part of our life.

Maybe you would suggest me to take a break. But is there any break? I know, I'm not able to stay away for several reasons and the financial reason is one of them. So, I guess I better have to learn to ignore many things.

I know the other side of the room is full of light. I just need to open the door. But I feel like I should wait some more to enjoy the darkness. Oh! I'm going crazy.

The pressure of creating content is real, the struggle to make ourselves more visible in this platform is more than real. I always tell myself to not get involved in this stress. But somehow my brain catches it. It became something automatic which my brain is processing. But I know I have to take control before it gets out of my hand.

Both photos are my Mobile Photography

THANKS FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT!

Much Love

Who I am?I'm a Happy and Proud stay home Mom of a toddler boy.
I'm a life & nature enthusiast, I love to learn human psychology, I'm a 'Book worm' and very introvert but also love to travel. I'm trying to live mindfully and most importantly, I'm a positive learner.

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