Fortunate and unlucky things in my life || Cosas afortunadas y desafortunadas en mi vida

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Life is like a gambling game, sometimes your a born lucky and sometimes all odds are against you.

La vida es como un juego de azar, a veces naces con suerte y otras veces todas las probabilidades están en tu contra.

I do think that I belong to the most unlucky people who ever lived here on earth. I only managed to experience normality in my own standards during my younger years, from those times that I am not having signs of an impending Kidney disease and and its subsequent failure. In those times I can feel a normal sleep urge and sleeping without too much disturbance and interruption. I can enjoy eating because I haven't lost my appetite yet, I can eat normally without a struggle to finish-up my food. I can play with my classmates in the open grass field from our primary school and being just a normal child. But that changed until I felt those pesky headaches even when I was still in primary school. Now I know that those headaches are the signs of what I had ended-up today.

Creo que pertenezco a las personas más desafortunadas que han vivido aquí en la tierra. Sólo he conseguido experimentar la normalidad en mis propios estándares durante mis años de juventud, desde aquellos tiempos en los que no tengo signos de una inminente enfermedad renal y su posterior fracaso. En esos tiempos puedo sentir un impulso de sueño normal y dormir sin demasiadas molestias e interrupciones. Puedo disfrutar de la comida porque aún no he perdido el apetito, puedo comer con normalidad sin que me cueste terminar la comida. Puedo jugar con mis compañeros en el campo de hierba abierto de nuestra escuela primaria y ser un niño normal. Pero eso cambió hasta que sentí esos molestos dolores de cabeza incluso cuando todavía estaba en la escuela primaria. Ahora sé que esos dolores de cabeza son los signos de lo que he terminado hoy.

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My body had been weak and frail and my mother had noticed it even when I was inside her womb while I am being conceived.

Mi cuerpo había sido débil y frágil y mi madre lo había notado incluso cuando estaba dentro de su vientre mientras me concebía.

Headaches are nasty things, it did plagued me from when I was younger until after I went for my first dialysis. It was caused by high blood pressure, anemia, and sometimes the blood pressure medicines. But in my case when I was younger I think it was caused by high blood pressure which is actually caused by a weak Kindy function. What I meant about the "weak Kidney" is that it is diseased but functioning until my Kidneys had failed and still I was having them particularly when I was severely anemic. I thank God that now I am not having headaches anymore maybe because I am not that severely anemic, because my Hematocit, Hemoglobin, and red blood cell levels are not that normal but enough to alleviate the signs of anemia which is insomnia and headaches, it includes a severe appetiteloss.

Los dolores de cabeza son desagradables, me han afectado desde que era más joven hasta que me sometí a mi primera diálisis. Fue causado por la presión arterial alta, la anemia y, a veces, los medicamentos para la presión arterial. Pero en mi caso, cuando era más joven, creo que fue causada por la presión arterial alta, que en realidad es causada por una función Kindy débil. Lo que quise decir sobre el "riñón débil" es que está enfermo pero funciona hasta que mis riñones han fallado y todavía los tenía particularmente cuando estaba severamente anémica. Le agradezco a Dios que ahora ya no tengo dolores de cabeza, tal vez porque no tengo una anemia tan severa, porque mis niveles de hematocitos, hemoglobina y glóbulos rojos no son tan normales, pero sí lo suficiente como para aliviar los signos de la anemia, que son el insomnio y los dolores de cabeza, incluyendo una severa pérdida de apetito.

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I thought that having headaches is normal until I found out that it was a symptom of something bad to happen in my situation.

Pensaba que tener dolores de cabeza es normal hasta que descubrí que era un síntoma de que algo malo iba a pasar en mi situación.

Anemia is the root cause of my other symptoms that had caused me a great deal of suffering because those symptoms had made my life difficult in a very long time. Until now I am having those symptoms which I mentioned above, the only difference is that at least I can eat or have some urge to eat, I do not get headaches anymore, and I can sleep a few hours only but not a quality sleep. Anemia had made my body very weak all throughout my existence, that is why I was not able to indulge in doing sport activities because I have no extra energy to use. It also had made my body very thin and skinny which made some of my classmates to bully me, it is also one reason that I got discouraged in pursuing my College degree.

La anemia es la causa principal de mis otros síntomas que me habían causado mucho sufrimiento porque esos síntomas me habían hecho la vida difícil durante mucho tiempo. Hasta ahora estoy teniendo esos síntomas que mencioné anteriormente, la única diferencia es que al menos puedo comer o tener algunas ganas de comer, ya no tengo dolores de cabeza, y puedo dormir unas pocas horas pero no un sueño de calidad. La anemia ha hecho que mi cuerpo esté muy débil durante toda mi existencia, por eso no he podido realizar actividades deportivas porque no tengo energía extra que utilizar. También ha hecho que mi cuerpo sea muy delgado y flaco, lo que ha hecho que algunos de mis compañeros de clase se burlen de mí, y también es una de las razones por las que me he desanimado a la hora de seguir mi carrera universitaria.

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My anemia had given me a myriad of symptoms that made my life hard all throughout my life.

La anemia me había provocado un sinfín de síntomas que me hicieron la vida imposible durante toda mi vida.

My appearance also had discouraged me from making relationships with the opposite sex because it had stripped me from building my confidence. What is wrong inside my body also had affected my brain which explains the anxiety disorder that I am having from the moment I had first set foot in my primary school until now. Even if I am talking to an acquaintance or a friend, I would feel trembling and nervousness, it was just an anxiety that I cannot fight off and it still sticks to my person even until now. These factors had made me not to have a relationship with girls which I regret because of course I am a normal person that is still longing for romantic love and raising a happy family of my own.

Mi aspecto también me había desanimado a la hora de entablar relaciones con el sexo opuesto porque me había quitado la confianza en mí misma. Lo que está mal dentro de mi cuerpo también ha afectado a mi cerebro, lo que explica el trastorno de ansiedad que tengo desde el momento en que pisé por primera vez la escuela primaria hasta ahora. Incluso si hablo con un conocido o un amigo, siento temblores y nerviosismo, es una ansiedad que no puedo combatir y que sigue pegada a mi persona hasta ahora. Estos factores me han hecho no tener una relación con las chicas, lo cual lamento porque, por supuesto, soy una persona normal que todavía anhela el amor romántico y formar una familia feliz.

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Having a zero romantic life is one of the greatest unfortunate things to happen to a person and I am one of them.

Tener una vida romántica nula es una de las mayores desgracias que le pueden ocurrir a una persona y yo soy una de ellas.

I am really unlucky in many things, having a broken body right before I was born is like a curse. But I am sure that I am not cursed, only a misfortune because of circumstances in my life. Our poverty was also a factor because my mother cannot afford to put me in a proper medical care, neither her or me or even my doctors didn't know what I was going through until it was too late, the Kidneys just progressed until I sank my head in the sand hoping that maybe if I would ignore my condition then it will go away. But it didn't so I suffered the consequences which I will experience anyway because it is simply too late at that point. My body just destroyed itself from inside, by my own immune system, had I received a proper medical care then I might not end-up like this. Of course I do not blame anyone because sometimes things are beyond our capacity and control to manage.

Tengo muy mala suerte en muchas cosas, tener el cuerpo roto justo antes de nacer es como una maldición. Pero estoy seguro de que no estoy maldito, sólo soy una desgracia por las circunstancias de mi vida. Nuestra pobreza también fue un factor porque mi madre no podía permitirse ponerme en una atención médica adecuada, ni ella ni yo, ni siquiera mis médicos sabían por lo que estaba pasando hasta que fue demasiado tarde, los riñones simplemente progresaron hasta que hundí mi cabeza en la arena con la esperanza de que tal vez si ignoraba mi condición entonces se iría. Pero no lo hizo, así que sufrí las consecuencias que experimentaré de todos modos porque simplemente es demasiado tarde en ese momento. Mi cuerpo se destruyó a sí mismo desde dentro, por mi propio sistema inmunológico, si hubiera recibido una atención médica adecuada entonces no podría terminar así. Por supuesto que no culpo a nadie porque a veces las cosas están más allá de nuestra capacidad y control para manejarlas.

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A series of unfortunate events and conditions had made my life like it is now. My life-long task had been to turn it around with great difficulty.

Una serie de acontecimientos y condiciones desafortunadas han hecho que mi vida sea como es ahora. Mi tarea de toda la vida había sido darle la vuelta con gran dificultad.

With regards to the fortunate things in my life then I still have some. I have a supportive parents and even though my mother is also a factor that acts as a hindrance to my major plans, her love is still priceless. Even her mere existence is making me feel better because I have someone that I can call when I needed some things to be done, to be bought at the nearby store or pharmacy or accomplish some tasks. Then even though my father cannot do what my Mother was doing, he is still very important in my life because he was the one that is driving me to and rom the dialysis center or wherever I would need to go. The presence of my parents in my life is so important for me that I do not know what to do if one or both of them will be gone before my own existence because I know that things will never be the same. So while they are still here I regard myself as lucky because it is a gift from God to me that no one can ever replicate.

En cuanto a las cosas afortunadas de mi vida, todavía tengo algunas. Tengo unos padres que me apoyan y, aunque mi madre también es un factor que obstaculiza mis grandes planes, su amor no tiene precio. Incluso su mera existencia me hace sentir mejor porque tengo a alguien a quien puedo llamar cuando necesito que se hagan algunas cosas, que se compren en la tienda o farmacia cercanas o que se realicen algunas tareas. Además, aunque mi padre no puede hacer lo que hacía mi madre, sigue siendo muy importante en mi vida porque es él quien me lleva y trae del centro de diálisis o de cualquier lugar al que tenga que ir. La presencia de mis padres en mi vida es tan importante para mí que no sé qué hacer si uno de ellos o ambos se van antes de mi propia existencia porque sé que las cosas nunca serán iguales. Así que mientras estén aquí me considero afortunado porque es un regalo de Dios para mí que nadie podrá replicar jamás.

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I am lucky to still have my parents and now I am afraid to lose them in the most vulnerable years of my life.

Tengo la suerte de seguir teniendo a mis padres y ahora tengo miedo de perderlos en los años más vulnerables de mi vida.

I am also fortunate that I at least I can earn until now although the earnings are small it is far better than not earning or worst, relying on others for financial help. For some patients like me they have no means to earn money, some of them are relying on family members for help while some others are relying on other people to help them while in some cases they are just spending their own savings for their medicines and dialysis treatments. So I am lucky in that regard because my money basically had saved me from dying with my eyes wide open plus I didn't end-up in stopping to go for my dialysis because of lack of funds just what happened to some of the patients that I know in the past. Although my funds and ability to earn is not making my life to turn to what I want to achieve at the current moment, at least I was saved from the worst thing that would happen if I do not have it, so it is indeed a great reason to thank God for a million times over.

También tengo la suerte de que al menos puedo ganar dinero hasta ahora, aunque sea poco, es mucho mejor que no ganar nada o, lo que es peor, depender de otros para obtener ayuda económica. Algunos pacientes como yo no tienen medios para ganar dinero, algunos dependen de sus familiares para que les ayuden, otros dependen de otras personas para que les ayuden y, en algunos casos, sólo gastan sus propios ahorros para sus medicamentos y tratamientos de diálisis. Así que tengo suerte en ese sentido, porque mi dinero me ha salvado de morir con los ojos abiertos y además no he tenido que dejar de ir a la diálisis por falta de fondos, como les ha ocurrido a algunos de los pacientes que conozco en el pasado. Aunque mis fondos y mi capacidad de ganar dinero no están haciendo que mi vida se convierta en lo que quiero lograr en este momento, al menos me salvé de lo peor que podría pasar si no lo tuviera, así que es realmente una gran razón para agradecer a Dios un millón de veces.

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Despite of loss of many potential to earn I was able to still earn regardless of what happened to my life.

A pesar de la pérdida de muchas posibilidades de ganar, fui capaz de seguir ganando a pesar de lo que pasó en mi vida.

It is always in my prayer to have my life changed for the better...

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...and not like this where it is always like winter.

Translated in Filipino [Taglish]

Sa palagay ko kabilang ako sa mga pinaka malas na tao na nabuhay dito sa mundo. Naranasan ko lang ang pagiging normal sa sarili kong mga pamantayan sa panahon ng aking mga kabataan, mula sa mga panahong iyon na wala akong mga palatandaan ng isang paparating na sakit sa Bato at at ang kasunod na pagkabigo nito. Sa mga oras na iyon ay nakakaramdam ako ng normal na paghihimok sa pagtulog at pagtulog nang walang labis na abala at pagkagambala. I can enjoy eating kasi hindi pa ako nawawalan ng gana, I can eat normally without a struggle to finish-up my food. Maaari akong makipaglaro sa aking mga kaklase sa bukas na damuhan mula sa aming elementarya at bilang isang normal na bata. Ngunit nagbago iyon hanggang sa naramdaman ko ang masasamang sakit ng ulo kahit noong ako ay nasa elementarya pa lamang. Ngayon alam ko na ang mga sakit ng ulo na iyon ay ang mga palatandaan ng kung ano ang natapos ko ngayon.

Ang pananakit ng ulo ay masasamang bagay, sinaktan ako nito mula noong bata pa ako hanggang pagkatapos kong mag-dialysis. Ito ay sanhi ng mataas na presyon ng dugo, anemia, at kung minsan ang mga gamot sa presyon ng dugo. Ngunit sa aking kaso noong bata pa ako, sa tingin ko ito ay sanhi ng mataas na presyon ng dugo na talagang sanhi ng mahinang paggana ng Kindy. Ang ibig kong sabihin tungkol sa "mahina na Bato" ay ito ay may sakit ngunit gumagana hanggang sa mabigo ang aking mga Bato at nagkakaroon pa rin ako ng mga ito lalo na noong ako ay malubhang anemic. Nagpapasalamat ako sa Diyos na ngayon ay hindi na ako sumasakit ang ulo marahil dahil hindi ako ganoon kalubha na anemic, dahil ang aking Hematocit, Hemoglobin, at pulang selula ng dugo ay hindi ganoon kanormal ngunit sapat na upang maibsan ang mga palatandaan ng anemia na insomnia at pananakit ng ulo, ito kabilang ang isang matinding pagkawala ng gana.

Anemia ang ugat ng iba ko pang sintomas na nagdulot sa akin ng matinding paghihirap dahil ang mga sintomas na iyon ay nagpahirap sa aking buhay sa napakahabang panahon. Until now I am having those symptoms which I mention above, ang pinagkaiba lang at least nakakain ako or may urge to eat, hindi na ako sumasakit ng ulo, at nakakakatulog ako ng ilang oras lang pero hindi quality sleep. Ang anemia ay naging napakahina ng aking katawan sa buong buhay ko, kaya naman hindi ko nagawang magpakasawa sa paggawa ng mga aktibidad sa palakasan dahil wala akong dagdag na enerhiyang magagamit. Pinapayat at payat din nito ang katawan ko na naging dahilan para i-bully ako ng ilan sa mga kaklase ko, isa rin itong dahilan kung bakit ako nawalan ng pag-asa sa pag-pursue ng College degree.

Ang aking hitsura ay nawalan din ako ng loob na makipagrelasyon sa kabaligtaran ng kasarian dahil ito ay nag-alis sa akin sa pagbuo ng aking kumpiyansa. Kung ano ang mali sa loob ng aking katawan ay nakaapekto rin sa aking utak na nagpapaliwanag ng anxiety disorder na aking nararanasan mula noong una akong tumuntong sa aking elementarya hanggang ngayon. Kakilala man o kaibigan ang kausap ko, nanginginig at kaba ang nararamdaman ko, pagkabalisa lang na hindi ko kayang labanan at dumidikit pa rin sa katauhan ko kahit hanggang ngayon. These factors had made me not to have a relationship with girls which I regret because of course I am a normal person that is still longing for romantic love and raising a happy family of my own.

Malas talaga ako sa maraming bagay, ang pagkakaroon ng sirang katawan bago pa man ako isilang ay parang sumpa. Ngunit sigurado ako na hindi ako isinumpa, isang kamalasan lamang dahil sa mga pangyayari sa aking buhay. Naging salik din ang kahirapan namin dahil hindi ako kayang ilagay ng nanay ko sa maayos na pangangalagang medikal, hindi niya alam o ako o kahit ang mga doktor ko kung ano ang pinagdadaanan ko hanggang sa huli na, umunlad lang ang Kidney hanggang sa lumubog ako. ang ulo ko sa buhangin umaasa na baka kung hindi ko papansinin ang kalagayan ko ay mawawala na ito. Ngunit hindi ito nangyari kaya nagdusa ako sa mga kahihinatnan na mararanasan ko pa rin dahil huli na ang lahat sa puntong iyon. Sinisira lang ng katawan ko ang sarili ko mula sa loob, sa pamamagitan ng sarili kong immune system, kung nakatanggap ako ng maayos na pangangalagang medikal at baka hindi ako humantong sa ganito. Siyempre hindi ko sinisisi ang sinuman dahil kung minsan ang mga bagay ay lampas sa aming kakayahan at kontrol upang pamahalaan.

With regards to the fortunate things in my life tapos meron pa ako. I have a supportive parents and even though my mother is also a factor that acts as a hindrance to my major plans, her love is still priceless. Kahit na ang kanyang pag-iral lamang ay nagpapagaan sa aking pakiramdam dahil mayroon akong isang tao na matatawagan ko kapag kailangan ko ng ilang mga bagay na dapat gawin, na mabibili sa kalapit na tindahan o parmasya o gumawa ng ilang mga gawain. Tapos kahit hindi magawa ng tatay ko ang ginagawa ng Nanay ko, napakahalaga pa rin niya sa buhay ko dahil siya ang nagtutulak sa akin papunta at rom ng dialysis center o kung saan man ako kailangan pumunta. Ang presensya ng aking mga magulang sa aking buhay ay napakahalaga para sa akin na hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin kung ang isa o pareho sa kanila ay mawawala bago ang aking sariling buhay dahil alam ko na ang mga bagay ay hindi kailanman magiging pareho. Kaya habang naririto pa sila ay kinikilala ko ang aking sarili bilang masuwerte dahil ito ay isang regalo mula sa Diyos sa akin na hindi kailanman maaaring gayahin ng sinuman.

I am also fortunate that I at least I can earn until now although maliit lang ang kinikita it is far better than not earn or worst, umaasa sa iba for financial help. Para sa ilang mga pasyenteng tulad ko wala silang paraan para kumita ng pera, ang iba sa kanila ay umaasa sa mga miyembro ng pamilya para sa tulong habang ang iba ay umaasa sa ibang tao upang tulungan sila habang sa ilang mga kaso ay ginagastos lamang nila ang kanilang sariling ipon para sa kanilang mga gamot at dialysis. mga paggamot. Kaya ako ay masuwerte sa bagay na iyon dahil ang aking pera ay karaniwang nagligtas sa akin mula sa kamatayan nang nakadilat ang aking mga mata at hindi ako tumigil sa pagpapa-dialysis dahil sa kakulangan ng pondo kung ano ang nangyari sa ilang mga pasyente na Alam ko sa nakaraan. Bagama't ang aking mga pondo at kakayahang kumita ay hindi nagpapaikot sa aking buhay sa kung ano ang nais kong makamit sa kasalukuyang sandali, hindi bababa sa ako ay nailigtas mula sa pinakamasamang bagay na mangyayari kung wala ako nito, kaya ito ay talagang isang mahusay. dahilan para magpasalamat sa Diyos sa isang milyong beses.

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I do have many regrets in being born and experiencing life like this. But I have to suck it all up and deal with it. Fight is the only way to breakthrough but I will require a miracle from God for me to be able to turn my life around.

Me arrepiento mucho de haber nacido y experimentado la vida así. Pero tengo que aguantar todo y lidiar con ello. Luchar es la única manera de salir adelante, pero necesitaré un milagro de Dios para poder dar un giro a mi vida.

Marami akong pinagsisisihan sa pagsilang ko at naranasan ang ganitong buhay. Ngunit kailangan kong sipsipin ang lahat at harapin ito. Ang pakikipaglaban ang tanging paraan para magtagumpay ngunit mangangailangan ako ng himala mula sa Diyos para maibalik ko ang aking buhay.

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