Hey, It's MY World! Life Inside a Narrow Niche...

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
~Mahatma Gandhi

I have long supported the idea that happiness comes from being able to live the sort of life that feels right to you.

Of course, our lives are wildly different and we have wildly different experiences to inform the choices we make, in pursuit of the "right" feelings in life.

Some people have very large "tribes," because what matters most to them overlaps with the choices of a great many other people. Other people have very small tribes because their preferences seem to be "a little different."

Honestly, I have tried to not attach myself to "mainstreaming" OR to being "esoteric." What matters most is authenticity.

Of course, within the realm of "do no harm."

If you're at all observant, it doesn't take you long to notice/discover when your "natural world" deviates considerably from that of the majority... you notice a few eyerolls and headshakes... but it works both ways, because also discover that so many things touted as "fun" and "amazing" hold virtually zero appeal. Even after you give them "the good old college try."

Perhaps where I became the most aware was when people around me started telling me that I was "just trying to be difficult."

No. No I wasn't.

What I learned from sitting inside that was a lot about authenticity, and about how much people tend to lie to themselves, simply in service of "fitting in."

Surprisingly many people lack both the courage and authenticity to simply be themselves. I know that sounds strange, but societal peer pressure is very strong in this day and age. From a very young age, we're indoctrinated into fitting ourselves into certain moulds, regardless of whether they suit us, or not.

I'm certainly not immune; when I was at University I studied finance and business because it was (allegedly) a "proper and sensible" education that would lead to a "proper and wel-compensated" type of job.

In the end, I never actually used that education for anything, because being a "business person" or a "banker" was never my idea... it was the idea of my family, and "the world" and my environment.

I turned my back on it already in my 20's because I placed "feeling content" ahead of "having stuff."

It might not have been the most responsible thing to do... but what IS this "responsible?" Whose world is it, exactly?

But that's the big story arc. The big story arc is made up of lots of smaller story arcs... all the little differences that set us on the specific course we choose.

Perhaps the way I most notice how differences manifest — or fail to manifest — is by watching tourists. How do tourists behave when they find themselves in a foreign country... something I became extremely familiar with, even before reaching the age of 21.

Some tourists go to great lengths to try to locate the same food they eat at home, while others jump head first into the local cuisine. These are choices we make...

I noticed quite early on that I "didn't match up" across a broad swath of preferences, from music, to interests, to food preferences, to activities, to temperament and beyond.

Of course, it's one thing to notice, and quite another to be at peace with it!

My watershed moment came from a strange place... back when I was helping my friend Jon set up one of the very first online dating sites, and we were talking about people in the dating world's expectations.

One of the people we talked to in one of the focus groups said something really important: It wasn't important whether "people" liked her dating profile, she just needed one person to like it.

In a sense, that epitomizes how we make peace with being a little different. We stop thinking about "people" and "everybody," and instead find our joy in the rare individuals who happen to be part of the tiny niche we inhabit.

And then we celebrate that!

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great week ahead!

How about you? Do you feel pretty "normal," or pretty "strange?" Do you feel like your authentic "tribe" is pretty tiny? Do you live an authentic life? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — Not posted elsewhere!)

Created at 2024.04.15 01:23 PDT
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