Journals and Essays: Why Ever Would I Want to Write About THAT???

As part of our ongoing process of "tidying up" our lives and making our world a bit simpler, I have been unpacking some of the old moving boxes sitting at the back of my office closet. I have "avoided" these boxes for some years because they are labeled things like "General Sorter" and "To be gone through, later."

That's pretty much my personal "code" for there being a giant mess within!

Some of what I unpacked today was a poignant reminder I've just how long I have been interested in writing, and how I never seem to throw away anything that might inspire an article or a personal essay. Along with the unpacking, along came the additional realization of just how long I've been taking notes of ideas for stuff I wanted to write about.

It's kind of interesting to look at those notes, some of which were written maybe a decade ago. Sometimes I have to just sit there and scratch my head and wonder why on Earth I would even want to write about some of these topics... but evidently they were at the forefront of my mind, at the time.

Just goes to show you that our tastes and interests change considerably with time!

In turn, it all made me wonder about this whole process of keeping a Journal. I know I keep a Journal in part because I find writing to be very cathartic; almost like talking to a counselor; someone who just listens while I air my grievances of the moment. But beyond that, I do like being able to look back at some of my old thoughts and ideas, and consider whether I have grown from that point or I'm still stuck in the same place.

Quite a few people I talk to tell me that they prefer that they'd rather not know.

And that's OK — I don't think there is a right or wrong way to journal, or keep notes, or whatever you do. As for myself, I'd rather know than not know whether I'm still sitting and stewing in the same place psychologically or emotionally and need to give myself a swift kick in the ass!

Looking at old personal journals is a bit like an "archeological dig" our earlier states of mind. I can usually tell from my old notes what was going on at a particular time in my life. I seem to easily get stuck down inside certain thought patterns and then I just analyze and analyze and analyze and analyze without necessarily coming to any conclusions or making sense of the questions I have for myself. But it's probably still a healthy thing that at least I am actively looking at these questions rather than just feeling overwhelmed by them or pretending they don't even exist.

As Socrates allegedly said: "The life unexamined is not worth living."

I guess there's something to that, at least for me!

I actually wish I had more of my old journals. Sadly, I made a heat-of-the-moment decision to burn my journals... not once, but twice.

The first time was when I was 17 and discovered that my mother had been reading them — even though I thought I had them well hidden — and she then wanted to argue with me about the opinions I was writing down as my private thoughts.

It felt like such a breach of trust that hauled all my journals to the BBQ grill, doused them with lighter fluid and let them burn. I didn't keep a journal again for about five years, after that.

Subsequently, I went through a similar incident with my ex reading my new journals after I'd started up again... and once again I burned them.

All these years later, I still wish I hadn't done that!

Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your week!

How about YOU? Do you keep a person journal? Moreover, do you SAVE your old journals? If you're a writer, do you keep a lot of notes on writing ideas? Or does your inspiration just flow when you need it to? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 20210414 23:35 PDT
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