Positive or Negative — Where do You Place Your Focus?

It's funny how often "one thing leads to another!"

After writing about the power of positive focused intention yesterday, additional ideas came flowing into my awareness today, after spending a little time with a few favorite bloggers (sorry, not on Steemit!) around the Internet.

Setting your intention is, in large part, about directing your thoughts... and your thoughts become the focus of your attention. But what do you focus on, with that intention? Is your focus positive, or is it negative?

Now, let me quickly add that I am not talking about good vs. bad, or dark vs. light here. I'm talking about how you state your intention.

One of the things I noticed from reading blogs — many of which were trying to give fundamentally sound advice for self-improvement — and which is also true for a great many things in our daily life is the extent to which people direct their focus at avoiding the negative, rather than seeking the positive.

I remember dilemma this from way back in the early days of the Internet when I was (informally) helping my friend Jon create one of the very earliest iterations of online dating websites.

How do you state what you want? Do you say (for example) "I don't want to date a smoker" or do you say "I want to date a a non-smoker?

You might look at those two statements and ask "aren't those the same?"

No, not exactly.

In the first version, the actual focus of the statement is "smoker." In the second version, the focus is "non-smoker."

See the difference?

No, Really, it Makes a Difference!

Setting an intention genuinely works!

But because you tend to get precisely what you're focused on, it also becomes very important that you are not only specific with what you want, but that you phrase your intention in a positive fashion. Set your intention in terms of wanting something, not in terms of avoiding something!

Now, I'll be the first to admit that this can be quite tricky for those among us who have been through a fair amount of emotional and psychological trauma. We're used to (figuratively and literally) "looking over our shoulder" for bad things... and we really do want to avoid them.

But if you're sitting there, thinking "no alcoholics, no alcoholics, no alcoholics" all your energy is actually going into the word "alcoholic," so guess what you're likely to get? Even though you're thinking it's what you don't want!

For many people, it takes a good bit of practice to get into the habit of phrasing their wants positively. You can always do little practice exercises, just to feel out the differences in saying basically the same thing, both negatively and positively:

No traffic jams on the commute/light traffic on the commute
No rain tomorrow/sunshine tomorrow
Don't be late/be on time

You may actually find yourself surprised by how much you use "avoiding" language rather than "desiring" language!

Which brings me to something directly related, which was long a source of interest to me in observing people and human behavior.

Moving TOWARDS Pleasure, or AWAY from Pain?

What is your typical orientation in life?

Do you primarily put your focus and energy into moving away from pain and things you don't want (avoiding) or are you more oriented to *moving towards" pleasure and things you do want (seeking)?

Now, just to clarify: If you're in an actively abusive situation, "moving away from" is definitely a good idea... but that can still be viewed as moving TOWARDS safety.

Now, you might wonder why I care so much about this... well, because it does make a difference. No, you might not be directly influencing the world, but you are definitely influencing yourself and how you conduct yourself and respond to what happens around you.

It's all about focus, and about where you direct your attention.

And it works with relationships, jobs, beliefs and many other aspects of life, little and large.

And with that thought, Happy Easter to all who celebrate, and otherwise a wonderful weekend to everyone! Thanks for stopping by!

How about you? What is your general orientation, in your thought patterns? What do you think about what I shared here? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — Not posted elsewhere!)

Created at 2024.03.31 01:03 PDT
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