Resonance, Connection and Disappointment

Although I definitely experienced my fair share of bullying during my school years, I mostly managed to skate under the radar because I was (A) That weird kid in the corner (B) I tended to think and move independently of cliques and typically was able to get along with — and relate to, in some way — practically all kinds of people.

It was a source of some consternation to my mother, who felt I really only should associate with the "posh kids."

In truth, I probably liked the posh kids the least of all the grouplets typically found during my school daze.

The fact that I was good at getting along with most people doesn't mean I didn't have a preference as to whom I wanted to spend my time with. But that preference tended to transcend cliques and instead had a lot to do with — for lack of a better way to describe it — whether or not I resonated with someone.

It's somewhat difficult to describe if you're not given to tune in to such things... but I think most of us understand what is meant when someone says "I'm getting a BAD VIBE from this person!"

Which is often a clear warning sign that something is "off," even if our conscious awareness isn't quite sure how to make sense of it.

"Vibes" tend to be remarkably accurate, and are likely related to ancient self-protection measures that we have never evolved entirely out of. After all, it was a good thing to "have eyes in the back of your head" when there was a dangerous predator lurking outside our cave!

We don't think of it in our modern world because there are few saber-tooth tigers roaming the city streets... even though predators are pretty much everywhere, even in a different form.

Instead of ignoring these primal instincts, some of us — prehaps predisposed to having a higher acuity, as a baseline — end up actually honing these abilities... for a variety of reasons. In most cases, abusive situations make us more aware; we have to be constantly on alert, simply as a survival mechanism because the "predators" might even be family members.

But here's the thing: Even if you're not under threat — literally and figuratively — you can still tune into and develop these senses.

Which brings me back to "resonance and connection."

The vibes we pick up from other people we meet tend to be remarkably accurate, and they don't just apply to the negative, but also to the positive.

Have you ever met someone with whom it felt like you just "clicked" from the moment you saw each other? And you can't necessarily even make sense of it, because you might have vastly different background, interests and life experiences? And yet... you're drawn to each other like magnets, and instantly feel at ease in each other's company.

We might fictionalize it as "love at first sight," but more likely we are experiencing instant resonance, but if we end up actually falling in love with that person, we "backfill" the experience to describe it as love at first sight... retrospectively.

And I say that, even as a hopeless romantic!

Now, the reason I have "disappointment" in the title of this post is that we will experience disappointment, no matter who we connect with.

That doesn't mean that "following the resonance" was wrong, is simply means that we typically encounter practical considerations that clash with the initial resonance... reality bites, as the saying goes!

So what happens?

That amazing vibe doesn't tell us that the person we just connected with has terminal cancer. Or has an addiction. Or financial problems. Or a well-disguised mental illness. Or is suffering from complex PTSD. Those are tangible things we have to uncover, over time. And they are tangible things we have to determine whether are important enough to negate that powerful resonance.

If you find yourself too caught up in the good vibes, these facts showing up can feel a bit like a kick in the gut. Everything was so perfect, wasn't it?

Yes... and no. The incomplete picture was definitely perfect... but it was an incomplete picture.

Even so, trusting your instincts is often far more accurate than working by thought and logic. And that can apply both when you're evaluating your potential new boss... or a potential new life partner!

Thanks for reading, and have a great weekend!

How about you? Do you pay attention to the vibes you get from people you meet? How often are you right? Do you use your instinctive "radar" for positive, as well as for warmings? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — Not posted elsewhere!)

Created at 2024.03.23 02:15 PDT
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