Some Days are Just Harder Than Others...

Today was one of those days where I just didn't feel like I ever got "airborne."

Whereas the reality most likely is that most days are actually pretty much the same, the way we feel about our days seems to change a lot... at least that holds true for me.

I think I got off on the wrong foot in part because the list of "one more thing that needs doing before I start on my work" kept growing, rather than shrinking... and most things I undertook seemed to come with "extra complications," like a camera that wouldn't focus properly, a printer that jammed several times, my cat knocking a box of pens on the floor and so on and so forth.

In the end, I arrived at 3:30 in the afternoon before I could finally say "Time to get something DONE!"

This is definitely one of the drawbacks of being self-employed. Everything must be done, all the time!

By 3:45, I was just staring blankly at the screen, having feelings of just not being enough. Enough what, though?

I've struggled with feelings of being "less than" pretty much all my life. I talk a lot about "finding the positive" and even teach people about improving their outlook... but in my quiet moments, my own outlook isn't always very sunny.

Perhaps what is really weighing on me is that I am 60 years old and working longer hours than ever, for less compensation than ever. Isn't it "supposed to" be the other way around? As you head towards the ostensible "retirement years" the load lightens as you reach your peak earning years?

Don't believe it for a second!

I was shredding some old documents from the 1990's the other day, and came across some old income tax returns. I was far better off in 1993 than I am today... oh well, too bad, so sad!

I looked at the calendar and counted that I have worked 65 days straight, 7 days a week, mostly 8-12 hours a day. That's what it takes, to fund life as it currently exists. And everybody wants a "better deal," because... Covid, and nobody has any money.

I expect we're all in that same boat.

Sorry this is a bit of a downer of a post; as I have said before, writing is often my therapy, and it helps me to get things out, via the written word. We shall return to our "regular programming" tomorrow!

And so, I think I'm just going to stop here and make it an early night... and cross my fingers that tomorrow will be a better day!

Thanks for reading, and I hope your week is going well!

How about YOU? Ever get off to the sort of start that makes it feel like you just can't get going? Give me a shout back... Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — NOT A CROSSPOST!!!)
Created at 20210309 23:46 PST
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