Yes, Positive Intention and Optimism Can Co-exist Happily With Sadness!

I am generally a pretty positive person.

What I mean to say is, I generally have a pretty positive outlook on life and feel fairly optimistic about most things. I tend to see the good in people and situations, and I tend to make the most of whatever is available and in front of me. I seem to be able to do that even when things look very dire and dark.

At the same time, I also have a bit of a pervasive sadness that lives inside me. People have even remarked on this... like there's an inner "shadow" in my soul.

I'm really quite okay with it; I do recognize that some people can't stand being sad and they tend to frantically run around trying to come up with something to "do" so they don't have to be alone with their sadness. Mostly, that tends to be a cover over a set of emotions that they aren't equipped or prepared to deal with.

Some would insist that you can't be positive and optimistic and that the same time also have sadness much of the time. I beg to disagree!

Sadness and optimism aren't really related, and they are definitely not direct counterpoints, either.

So what's with this "sadness" thing?

Part of where my sadness comes from is that I see so much pain in the world, and when people around me and people whom I care about are suffering it affects me. In addition, I've seen so much loss and so many things gone astray; so many dreams that are shattered. And it's hard not to feel sadness for that.

Yes, some people seem able to just "blow that stuff off," but I'm not one of them!

And so, I don't feel compelled to put limits on the range of emotions I experience, even when I'm experiencing optimism in conjunction with sadness. And yes I do experience those two together! But here's the thing: I'm not a "sad sack;" the sadness I have is a background or backdrop emotion that lives with me all the time, but it doesn't hurt my ability to experience other things... like joy.

Periodically, I've had some very interesting discussions with people in which we have touched on the very important aspect of existence which is allowing yourself to feel ALL your emotions fully.

Conversely, there is a distinct danger and drawback to what some psychologists might label "unexperienced emotions." And those unexperienced emotions are what I see a lot in people who avoid experiencing the emotional side of life's setbacks.

Emotional honesty can be challenging for a lot of people. However, for me it is a must if I'm to not drive myself crazy and have weird and inappropriate outbursts, at weird and inappropriate times!

And in spite of the fact that I was raised in an environment in which "men and boys weren't supposed to feel anything," I find myself having very ready access to all my emotions. And I get emotional at things that sometimes people simply don't understand.

Even though I'm not actually unhappy at the time, I might experience emotional tears at the beauty of a piece of music, or the beauty of a sunset, or a particularly intense feeling of love for another person. These are not the same tears you shed when your favorite pet dies... they are quite different.

Some might call that silly. I simply think of it as being honest. We have often been taught how to hide everything but why should we hide? Who are we doing a favor by hiding? Certainly not ourselves!

I suppose part of it has to do with the fact that when you feel things very deeply, many of them affect you. But it isn't a bad thing. Somehow, our modern society has been taught that sadness is a negative emotion to have. Nobody wants to be around a sad sack!

I chuckle to myself as I realize how much we now "medicalize" emotions that not so long were considered a normal part of the range of human experience. And that makes me feel sad...

There's great beauty in the vast range of feelings that make up the Human experience. Let's not be afraid to actually experience that!

Thanks for visiting, and have a great remainder of your week!

How about you? Are you at ease with your emotions? Are there certain emotions you avoid, or try to hide? If so, does it ever trouble you? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 2024.04.02 00:46 PDT
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