💗 You'll Always Be Remembered

It was 5:15am on Saturday that the call came. It was a call that I was expecting but one that I didn't want to take. I'd been expecting it since 1pm the previous day when I'd been told that the-nanny-gorilla was in hospital and that she wouldn't wake up.

the-toddler-gorilla had heard that initial conversation, oblivious and not understanding that his 2-nanny who he loved so dearly, was somebody that he'd never see again. Somebody whose hand he wouldn't be able to hold, whose biscuits he wouldn't be able to eat and who he'd no longer be able to load up with cushions.

As I hung up that initial call, the-toddler-gorilla excitedly exclaimed that he couldn't wait to see his nanny. How excited he is that she would come to see him, not realising that her visit would have to wait and that his nanny would be visiting alone.

As he cheerfully called out to his nanny, my heart broke. I knew that it was 2-nanny's time and that she was ready - ready to rejoin the-grandad-gorilla who passed away shortly before a deadly virus swept the world. But of course, we didn't want her to go. Leaving a void in this world that nobody could ever fill.

She'd gone into hospital with Aspiration Pneumonia on the Friday the week before. By Wednesday, she was well and the family was wondering when she'd be coming home. the-toddler-gorilla had made a "Get Well Soon" card which we'd posted to the ward - a card that she'd never receive which is still floating around the hospital somewhere.

On Thursday, I received a text - there'd been a Covid outbreak on the ward that she was on. the-mummy-gorilla had said that each patient should only have 1 visitor - but nobody was following the rules. Nobody ever seems to follow the rules. Perhaps this will help people understand why these rules are in place. Perhaps not. On Wednesday 2-nanny was expecting to come home. By Friday, there was no coming back.

Whether it was the Covid or not, I don't know. After her last visit to us, I said to the-mummy-gorilla that she's ready to go, I was told that she's been ready for a long time.

Both the-mrs-gorilla and I tried to explain this to the-toddler-gorilla yesterday but he didn't understand. Perhaps he won't understand until the-mummy-gorilla comes to visit and 2-nanny's chair remains empty.

I get strength knowing that the-nanny-gorilla and the-grandad-gorilla are together again. I get strength knowing that their place in my heart will never disappear. But the world was a better place with them both in it and they will be missed.

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