Balanced Life: Self-Deprecation and Accepting Compliments

How do you respond, when someone pays you a compliment, and says something nice about you or something you have done?

It's surprising — and even a little alarming — just how many people respond to compliments with some kind of self-deprecating comment, basically "telling" the person paying them a compliment that their perception is wrong.

To some, that might sound a bit harsh.

But consider this: How many times have you — or someone you know — responded to nice and kind words with something like "Oh, it's no big deal!" or "ANYbody would do that!"

Over the years, it's surprising how many clients I have had to "teach" that an appropriate response when someone pays you a compliment or says something nice is simply to say "thank you!"

It's not that complicated!

Of course, there are numerous psychological reasons why people struggle with receiving compliments... many of them related to having low self-esteem, and perhaps having grown up in families where they were taken for granted and their work was rarely acknowledged, except maybe as a criticism of what they had done wrong.

Such "training" does not exactly give people a solid foundation for interacting with people who treat them kindly and respectfully.

Occasionally, one of my clients will confess — often indirectly — that they have grown to see compliments as "a prelude to someone asking to have something DONE for them." They don't perceive the kind words to be "standalone," but part of a negotiation for favors.

Which is quite sad!

So if you struggle with this issue, and perhaps recognize yourself in some of these words... next time someone says something nice to you, remember to simply say "Thank you!"

Thanks for stopping by, and Bright Blessings to all!

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