I might have touched on this concept before, but one of the most common reasons for counseling clients to seek my help is that they want to make major changes in their life... but they feel stuck and are not sure how to go about getting started.
Change is not something you can "dabble" in!
We see this by the way millions of people make New Year's Resolutions that end up going absolutely nowhere.
It's easy to just say the words that suggest you want to make changes to the way you live life, but it's quite another thing to actually carry through such intentions.
Sadly, a major reason why desires for change so often get derailed is that people are not actually ready for change.
That is to say, they like the idea of change — and might even understand the specifics of the changes they wish to make — but they actually lack the commitment and dedication to manifest change.
Most of us don't enjoy being in emotional or psychological pain!
And so, the seeds of desire to change are definitely in place. However, most people are really not aware of what it will take from them — in terms of both commitment and dedication — to make their desires come to fruition.
I see this happen quite often with clients. They have several sessions, and at the end they leave with a number of "tools" to help them on their way; tools that could sincerely help them support the changes they wish for.
Some months — or maybe even years — later, the contact me again for another session or two. And things didn't turn out as well as they had hoped.
"Well, did you apply the tips and tools I suggested?"
Actually, it turns out that they didn't, or maybe they started out OK, and then felt it should have "been enough" and went back to their prior painful ways.
At times, I have to outright tell people that I am not going to counsel them anymore because I don't feel right about taking their money if they are not prepared to make the commitment to healing.
That can often be a "break point." Some get annoyed, and maybe I will never hear from them again. But there are those who are now sincere about change... and ready to make the commitment to change, even if the process can be both painful and long.
As stated above, very few us us want to stay in pain... but we still have to be willing to answer the question of whether we are willing to do the work to get better!
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