I periodically meet people who just can't seem to let go of some old hurt or injustice, and they remain forever stuck in a place of anger and resentment towards the person whom they perceive did them wrong.
Regardless of whether or not a person's reasons for being angry with somebody else is justified or not, walking through life with a grudge against somebody else ultimately ends up hurting you more than it hurts the people you hold the grudge against.
There is an old truism which basically goes along the lines of ”Anger is like acid, it mostly corrodes the vessel that contains it,” or words to that effect — there are many variations, but the message remains constant. So it is with holding grudges, because doing so often prevents a person from moving on from an unfortunate event in their past.
When we actively hold a grudge, what is actually going on is that we keep processing a painful event in our past over and over and over again rather than moving on and enjoying the life that is actually in front of us.
This is where forgiveness comes in. Forgiveness doesn't require that we forget what happened, simply that we close the book on a particular event or incident, thereby no longer allowing it to have power over our daily lives.
In working with clients, I have often gotten the feedback that letting go of grudges and resentments actually feels like setting down a physical burden that you've been carrying for a long time. Many are actually surprised to learn just how much psychological "weight" they've been carrying around for months, or maybe years, or even decades!
The healing has to start with a willingness — in the mind and spirit — to recognize that you've had enough, and that things are not going to change as long as you continue on your current path. At times that can be a very difficult thing to do, because we actually grow attached to our pain and we're not entirely sure what's going to happen if we let go of it. It has become familiar, like walking in a pair of very old shoes that have many holes in the soles... but that still doesn't mean we shouldn't get new shoes!
The good news is that pretty universally people end up feeling much better as a result of letting go.
Thanks for reading and Bright Blessings to all!
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I think because the bad things are difficult to forgive and forget than good, it is enough to have such one event that can change us completely. That is why, the thing I like in Bible that we should forgive people, then we also have peace in our own hearts. Although sometimes it is quite difficult to do too :
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