"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants ." - A. Whitney Brown
"I'm not upset about my divorce, I'm only upset I'm not a widow ." - Roseanne Barr
"I'm not a morning person, I'm a coffee person ." - Unknown
"I told my wife she was getting fat . She said she needed more space . So I said, 'No, honey, you just need less of you .'" - Jimmy Fallon
"I can resist everything except temptation ." - Oscar Wilde
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right ." - Unknown
"I'm not shy, I'm just holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you ." - Unknown
"I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs ." - Unknown
"I'm not sure if I'm actually productive or I just have a good playlist ." - Unknown
"I'm not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?" - Unknown
I hope these quotes made you laugh and brightened up your day!
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