At first, I thought finding her was the hard part, but in reality, it wasn't. I was some kind of awkward guy with a lot of foolish philosophies, So when I found her I started putting my philosophies into life. Everything seemed right at first, eventually, things start to change. Then I realised that it isn't that much about a person, it's more about the relationship that arises after.
The real things start after all those first impressions, those initial days are just showing each other the glamourous side of each. Those will be beautiful days, but it's just like a bubble or a dream seen on an early morning. The life of it is very short. There's both lust and love in a relationship, I can't simply say they have equal importance. Normally lust doesn't have a glamourous image around, it's a bit underrated.
But I think it's also some kind of an essential part of love. It's also divine, sometimes it's more real than love in a certain relationship. The lies are less in lust, there is not that much to hide. But all these have point where it all starts to depreciate, there will decline curve for both love and lust. It may be hard to found on outside, it's more of an internal change. A point where a question arises that's 'what's this Love?'
I was very much aware at all these phases but ai also couldn't get out of it or strive out if it. Sometimes I want things to be complicated and unsolvable. It's what that happens all the time. Sometimes it's best to cover the sad reality with some glamourous stupidities. Even if it's a stupidity it could give slight pleasures for the life. I was very much in love with this short term happiness. Sometimes I felt like it's good to only live inside these fantasy world.