Hello, this is my first post, and I don't really know why I am posting this but I felt it was something I needed to share. I was inspired to make this post because of a post I've seen today from a fellow community member Doski who has also read the book.
I read "Crime and Punishment", a year ago. It's a book I was never quite able to recover from. I bought the book, knowing it was about a man who kills someone. The book turned out to be much more than that. While I can sit here and type a whole book report about the intricate details and wonderful storytelling this book has to offer. I would much rather tell you how this book affected me personally.
I read this book during a very hard time in my life, a time where I was alone at home, stuck in quarantine. Many of my friends were stuck at home too. I have one friend in particular, who suffered from intense depression. I deeply care for this friend, even if we couldn't be in contact with each other. Similar to how Raskolnikov received letters from his mother, I would text this person conveying how much I cared.
As I read this book, I could only see Raskolnikov as my friend, without all the killing of course. A moment that really stood out to me in this book was what happened with Raskolnikov and Sonia (Raskolnikov's beloved), there are spoilers ahead, so please if you plan on reading the book, do not go further.
Raskolnikov confesses his murders to Sonia. He reveals the darkest parts of him to her. Ideas of him wanting to kill himself and the pain he feels constantly. Sonia tries to comfort Raskolnikov. Sonia was special, she has been through so much and yet has faith in God and in humanity. This comes across as almost naive to Raskolnikov. I sometimes find myself behaving as Sonia to other people and being Raskolnikov to myself. Sonia asks Raskolnikov to give himself up to the authorities, so as to get help.
Raskolnikov eventually does confess to his crimes. Raskolnikov is sent to an isolated prison, away from his previous life. Sonia follows Raskolnikov and visits him occasionally. At first, Raskolnikov disliked having to be seen in prison by Sonia and would occasionally ignore her, but he soon started taking a liking to the visits. Despite everything Raskolnikov has done, Sonia is there, waiting for a man who wanted to die, a man who has committed horrible things, a man who is lost.
As I was reading this book, I couldn't help but cry. The thought that there are people out there like Sonia who would be there for someone no matter what. It really hit me during a time where it felt like everyone around me are stuck in their own cages and still is.
I guess the main point is that we should all strive to be Sonia, a person who is there, even for people who might not be able to show their gratitude.