EXPERIENCE from an "OFF GRID" Woman - An American Homestead

“I wish my wife would want to do what you do.”

I kind of wince when I hear that kind of statement. I’ve heard it a lot in the last five years of my off-grid life, but it makes me cringe because no woman wants to be compared to any other woman. I don’t do what I do to win any kind of competition or to be a more hard core homesteader because I live off grid. The best way that I know to describe my life is simply…a calling. I feel it deep down inside that this is the way that I’m supposed to live.

I’m not sure exactly what people see when they glance into by life, especially husbands who make comments like the above, but I thought I would use this article to share a little of my experience as an “off-grid woman.”

Since my children began to come along, I’ve always been a stay at home mom. In my suburban electric life, this meant that sweatpants and slippers were often all day attire. Not anymore! My hiking boots prove that to me much more than anything else could. I donned these every day for the first two years we were building our homestead. They went on first thing in the morning and were taken off when I collapsed in bed that night. They’ve seen lots of rough terrain and hard work! They stand as a testimony of what I accomplished in those first years.

There was not much sitting down back then. There was a big learning curve as I pushed forward to do all my household chores without electricity or running water. I learned to wash all our clothes (even baby diapers) by hand. I pumped and carried water for all our needs: laundry, drinking, cooking, cleaning, and bathing. I learned to cook over an open fire. Homeschool was more “life” school at that point, but I taught my son to read during some spare moments every day. I perfected using a cooler as our permanent means of refrigeration, as well as learned to cook from ingredients that required no refrigeration at all. I washed all our dishes by hand, swept the floor instead of vacuumed, and filled our lanterns with kerosene to use especially during the winter nights. I frequently think about that time. It was a time when I was literally working by butt off every day. Every task was more difficult than it had ever been before.

Women especially wonder why I would put myself through that. I’m not sure that I have a satisfactory answer. The work was my reality every day. I didn’t let myself think about it too much. I just did it. But the motivation behind it was always a driving force. It truly was a calling. I never even considered the possibility of quitting. I was desperate to see my children grow up in a rural setting with a strong work ethic and love for nature. I wanted so badly to be by my husband’s side as he and my dad built our homestead and figured out how to make our homestead business work. I loved the pride that filled my heart when my hard work was rewarded in tangible ways. I was most inspired to keep going when my home canned goods began lining the pantry shelves, as I brought the clothes in from the line smelling like clean mountain air, as my children explored our woods and built all sorts of things from the rocks and sticks they found, and as my family worked and bonded together.

Not every day was inspiring. In fact, most were not. Many days had struggle, failure, and tears. Our first winter was more difficult than I ever could have imagined. My most vivid memories still involve the frozen washtubs and my completely numb hands from doing the laundry. “Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” It sounds so cliché, and I’ll be honest and say that I hated that phrase back then. But looking back…the truth of it is staggering. I’m so thankful that I had those experiences because it did make me stronger. With every day that went by, I could feel the work getting easier. Maybe I was just getting used to it or maybe I was learning how to work smarter. It was most likely a healthy combination of both.

My life has gotten a lot easier since those days. I’ve learned some shortcuts to help with some chores. My boys are older and can do a lot to help. Our homestead infrastructure has been built, requiring me to expend much less manual labor. I will always remember the day the water flowed from the pitcher pump at my kitchen sink!

The lessons that I learned from those most difficult years will always stick with me. I learned that I am far more capable than my life in an electric suburban house inspired me to be. Now when I face a difficult task, I look back on what I’ve accomplished, and I have the confidence that I can really do anything. There is a show that aired on PBS many years ago, called the “Frontier House”. My husband and I can relate to many of the participants’ experiences. One woman explained how the busiest day of her “normal” life could never even compare to the hard work of every day on her homestead.

Homesteading women of times past have become my heros. They knew how to work hard! Most of us will never even come close to understanding that and that makes me sad. Our consumer culture takes everything for granted. Things that I consider luxuries like air conditioning or a dishwasher are necessities to modern America. There’s been a shift over time to see things as what we deserve instead of things that we have earned. I have so many conveniences that historical homesteading women did not have, but I’ve learned to never take them for granted. Gaining conveniences after a time of doing without them, increases their value exponentially. I know no better way to establish gratefulness than to do without something. Beyond anything else, off grid homesteading has taught me to be thankful for everything I have.