This past week has been a rough one for me. I’m sure we all have those, and mine was a killer. I had no motivation, no energy. I was bedridden, and had to force myself to do something as simple as brushing my teeth. I had no one to talk to and I was just a lonely gal. The lack of companionship threw me into a spiral...or so I thought.
As time progressed, I had two major epiphanies. These were a reality check that seemed to bring me back down to earth and calm the busyness of my weary mind. First, I learned to be in control of my own happiness. This is easier said than done, as I am a very empathetic person. I’ll let other unload tons of baggage on me, all while dealing with a ton of my own. I learned to not let the bag things get to me personally. It’s easy to say you control your own joy, but when the ones you care about aren’t as reciprocating as you may expect, it can get you down.
Do not expect yourself from other people, as you may only find heartache in the end. It isn’t fair to expect everyone to be as giving, open, and honest at you may find yourself at times. It is unfair to hold others to your standards. I also learned to reach out.
Now, my lack of reaching out isn’t due to pride or shame, but I found it useless. Talking to someone solves nothing, as I will still feel down, now I just have my personal business in the world! I was wrong, as having someone to just hear you out and validate you is comforting in itself. Someone who genuinely cares for you, and is actively listening and assisting can feel like the lighthouse to your murky, foggy sea.
And while I know I’m not perfect, and dark days may come again, I also know that this doesn’t make me any less of a deserving human.