“Seaside, Oregon (July 2019) – A Trip!” by Richard F. Yates

in humanizesteem •  5 years ago  (edited)

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On Sunday, July 14th, 2019, Mariah (the “Boss”), Elise (the “Younger Daughter”), Gabe (the “Boyfriend”), and I (the “Weirdo”) decided that the pressures of life had reached a critical pitch, and we needed a pressure release event. Despite our tiredness and grouchitude, we piled in the automobile early(ish) Sunday A.M. and headed for the bridge that connects Washington to Oregon---and off we went on our adventure!

While the youngsters slept ("youngsters"---they're both in their twenties), Mariah and I listened to tunes on the radio and dodged bicyclists (the annual “Seattle to Portland” bike race was underway, and it caused a tiny bit of kerfuffle crossing the bridge, but nothing much after that), crooozin’ our way to the coast. We landed in Seaside around 11:00 A.M. (it was a later start than I wanted---but whatever), and we headed for one of our favorite pizza joints: PIZZA HARBOR!

The kids found an old X-Men vs Street Fighter machine and battled each other to the death, while I threw a buck into a Guardians of the Galaxy pinball machine and played a single round. (At a dollar per game, I was only willing to give it one go…)

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They also had a piano in the dining area, which we all took turns abusing.

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Gabe is the only one of us who has been trained to play piano---but we were all sufficiently pleased with our skills. (It's a PUNK thing.) So much so that we decided to start a band: The Ba-La-Ma-Fas. (It’s a long story.) Gabe will play keyboards. Ellie on guitar. Mariah on tambourine (she bought a great plastic toy tambourine while we were hitting the shops!) And I’ll do programming. I’m guessing, since none of us can sing, that we’ll all sing…

Oh, and yes, we also ate pizza at this pizza shop.

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Next we hit Schwietert’s Cones + Candy (so Mariah could buy a candied apple. We LOVE the candied apples from there. They also have a great selection of novelty candies and pop culture artifacts.) I, being old and broken and lazy, sat on the cow-seat while the rest of the group shopped.

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We wandered around for a bit after this, eyeballing shops, without any real plan. Eventually we spotted some swan boats, and a raging discussion erupted about whether or not these should be ridden. (Eventually, for some reason, we decided against it.)

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More walking and window shopping occurred. (Seaside has an abundance of novelty to explore…) Although we purchased only a few things on our trip, we still found it entertaining to LOOK!

At some point, we ended up at a fun, little miniature gold course. (We've been there MANY times before.) Elise and Gabe are both VERY competitive, and decided that they needed to teach each other how to PLAY THE GAME. Mariah and I (who are NOT competitive) spectated.

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Because these two are seriously competitive (and somehow good at almost everything they do) the game was more tense than it probably should have been, and it ended with Ellie 3 over par and Gabe 2 over par---so he won THIS round by a single stroke! (We’ll see who wins their NEXT vicious competition!!!)

More shopping…. In one shop, which sold mostly nonsense, I found these creepy / cuddly little memento mori. I wonder if the folks who were selling them realize that that’s what they were!!!

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Next, I stopped and had a sit by the famous Seaside Carousel. I’m always struck by how much skill and detail goes into these old wooden carousels---but I wonder if there was ever REALLY a time when they weren’t considered SUPER CREEPY!!!

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And speaking of creepy, Mariah took this photograph of ME (a rarity; I usually duck most cameras…) wearing my new sombrero, which I got to help keep the evil SUN off my face and neck. (I love sombreros for their effective sun-screening properties---plus, I might PAINT this one, the “straw” areas, with acrylics to make it more “MINE.”)

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With my sombrero secured, our group headed back to our car, unloaded our shopping spoils, and grabbed a blanket that we’d brought out of the trunk, then headed for the actual (sand and surf) beach-beach….where we all, promptly, got sunburned.

It WAS a nice day, about 70 degrees f, not too cloudy, a bit more wind than we wanted (but tolerable), and quite a few humans were wandering around---but it was a very nice day nonetheless. Pacific Northwest beaches have a LOT of sand, and the water is ALWAYS freezing cold, so there aren’t usually too many swimmers (maybe a few with wet-suits), but there are always lots of kites and Frisbees, a few people wading ankle deep in the surf, and lots of folks just chillin’ out and listening to the rhythm of the waves…

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(How many people have seen the old sci-fi / horror film, The Crawling Eye? In that movie, the “creatures” live at the top of a mountain, which is always covered by clouds even when there aren’t any clouds anywhere else… Notice anything here???)

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After we felt we'd had enough radiation and gotten enough sand in our noses, we hiked back to the car and deposited the blanket back into the trunk, then headed off to our favorite ice-cream shop,…BUT!!!!! We were sickened and heartbroken to discover that it had closed since our last trip to Seaside. In a daze, and struck by the absolute absurdity of the universe, we wandered, half blind and out of our minds with discomfort, looking for a NEW favorite ice-cream shop.

We found Zingers… and even though my chocolate milkshake was EIGHT BUCKS!!!! (My GOD…) It was pretty damn tasty.

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Right outside of Zingers, I spotted this wonderful mural.

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The art is signed “Don O’Halloran,” and it’s some dang good stuff!

Sunburned, sandy, full of sugar, and tired of shopping, we headed back towards the car to call it a day---but accidentally came across ONE MORE sight before skipping town. A rough looking fellow had set up shop along the main drag, playing “Footloose” through a speaker and wiggling a couple of creepy cheerleader marionettes around. Unfortunately for the puppeteer, a little dancer was stealing the show, throwing down some SERIOUS moves and drawing far more attention than the puppets. I could tell by the scowl on the puppeteer's face that he wasn’t happy sharing the spotlight with the young dancer, and as we passed the dueling performers headed for our car, the guy shut the music off and folded up his operation, causing the crowd that had gathered to watch the little kid dance to let out a collective moan of displeasure.

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It was an odd ending to a fun day. I’m glad we got Mariah’s tambourine, and I hope we start writing songs pretty soon. (There hasn’t been a good, family-oriented pop-group in a while, since the Jacksons---or maybe The Partridge Family…) Regardless, we needed the break, and I’m glad that the weather was so cooperative! Won’t be long before we need ANOTHER break, though. I’m sure of that!!!

Later, skaters…

---Richard F. Yates
(Primitive Thoughtician and Holy Fool)

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