Before we get to the amazing David Bowie stuff, let's get this straight: You may have heard many things about platypus, but Domenico is not your usual everyday platypus. Domenico rocks! He knows the 7 best ways to dance to a tune without drums. He can blow your mind before you even start asking yourself what kind of bullshit article this is. Domenico has been around, and even if he missed this month's 5 previous David Bowie parties, he knows what to do this time. He knows how your favorite child stars look 20 years later. He knows what secondary Simpsons character you are before you even take that stupid quiz. Domenico's got what it takes, bro. So he can basically deliver one of the 7 premillenial healthy diets that will make you cling to your sofa, anytime he wants, anywhere he wants.
When it comes to platypus stories, you may think you can tell goldman from sucks. Well, guess what, after reading Domenico's legendary story you will not be so sure. In a secret interview, Domenico told us the 6 reasons why you are still reading this article while thinking it is certainly rubbish.
And just when you are about to click your way out, here comes the really amazing MAGIC Stardust platypus shit. Domenico will tell you EXACTLY what your procrastinating junkie internet time would be worth in bitcoins if you ever stopped trying to find useful pieces of knowledge in this virtual ummagumma balloon party. When he told me, I could not hold my tears.
Domenico is not about that inspirational falsely attributed quote surrounded in pink that everybody wants to hear so badly. But don't worry, here's the ONE thing you missed and always wanted to know. Yeah! Do you remember that day you had to go to the dentist and your teachers managed to sneak all the useful information to everyone else? Finally, here it is. But hey! you came here to hear about Domenico impersonating Ziggy, didn't you? Well, Madonna happened to be there when it happened and everybody is saying she is still in shock. If you thought you knew something about platypus, this will change your mind forever, unless you know the 3.6 life-hacks and 222 tricks than allow you to avoid changing your mind forever.
And now, before the final catharsis, let's entertain a weird thought for a minute... what if badass Domenico told you that what happened next wasn't so unbelievable after all, that it was some insubstantial, ordinary, boring, uninteresting flishy flushy pseudoevent. Would that mean that Madonna got it wrong? Where would that leave us? What does blooshy mean anyway?
Domenico played guitar,
the platypus from Mars,
screwed up eyes and screwed down hairdo,
he played it left... hand?
But boy could he play guitar!