Things You Don't Want To Do On A Sunday But Are Cool When You Do For 900, Trebeck.

^{Beer from Asian countries is usually absolutely delicious. Asian liquor is an acquired tasted.}

Lazy Sunday. A day for peace. A day for repose and revitalization.

Where does one go to revitalize oneself?

A spa? A park?

No, no, my friend. We can do better. You see, I know a place. Ain't nobody crying. Ain't nobody worrying. Ain't no smiling faces, lying to the races. You get the idea.

Where is this magical, wonderful, place? I thought you'd never ask.

It's Ikea.

Yes, Ikea. A furniture store full of knicks and knacks and paddy-wacks (give a dog a bone). A place that will help you relax by forcing you to experience each and every said knick and knack (and paddy-wack) through it's devilishly ingeniously designed interior.

Me and my not-quite-girlfriend went there because she wanted to price furniture for her new place. As we perused the aisles of screaming kids, worn out parents, and excited college students I found myself wondering how difficult it would be to twist the curtains into a fashionably patterned noose.

I suppose it wasn't that bad, really. There were some interesting things there, and I really do admire efficient design. Again, I'm talking more about the store than the furniture. You're forced to see damn near everything they've got, and halfway through they reward you with a meal break. After that you peruse the second half, pick out what you want, stuff your fat face once more, then leave.

Now we didn't actually eat there. She wanted to, but I persuaded her that we could probably do better. But actually it was she who came up with an awesome alternative: a place called 99 Ranch. Now, before you even fucking wonder let me assure you that the name makes no comprehensible sense. A perusal of a Google search informs us that the name is based on Asian gambling practices (99) and an attempt to seem hip and cool (Ranch).

That's significant because the place itself is a sort of Asian supermarket slash mini-mall. It's got restaurants, a jeweler, toy/trinket shops, and a grocery store. It has almost every kind of ramen imaginable and then some. Pretty cool stuff.

She apparently knows her way around Chinatown, too. That's pretty cool beans as far as I'm concerned. I can't wait to go. Apparently 99 Ranch is considered 'slightly fancy Asian' whereas in Chinatown it's much more of a mix. Sounds awesome, and if and when I do go I'll be sure to tell ya'll all about it.

Source: Photo is mine all mine, taken by me and my Moto G5 Plus.