Redacted Journal Part 13 - Things Start to Fall Apart and I Head to Canada

This covers the rest of the chronological section of my notes on Tennessee from April 2019 to June 2019. In general, names have been changed or removed. Information may have been removed or added. Length is around 10 pages.

April 2019

I ended up buying a few more microSD cards, and using my digital camera to take pictures of the evidence and make copies. This seemed to freak Andrews out. People were extremely antsy about me possibly placing one somewhere. For example, at a library one day, I was flipping through various books. A boy kept briskly walking by and checking on me. After a little bit of time, I went to the college, and made various noises, touching various things, so if they were listening, they would not be sure if I had placed one somewhere. When I got in my car next, on the radio was a story of a woman who had given birth to a baby with no brain. The obvious indication was he was saying how stupid I was. It was like he was aware I had not hidden them. I, however, continued listening to the story with interest. It took a strong pro-life stance.

After this, it seemed Brian was probing whether or not I was pro-life, and my attitudes towards children. It may have been around this time that one of my classmates brought their child to class. I wondered why he would care if I was pro-life. It was like he wanted me to give birth to a baby if I became pregnant. I saw a news story I believe about a police officer taking a child away. It seemed to me this was his thought, to the point that it was his primary hope of finally breaking me. This narrative continued for a long time, on into 2020. There seemed to be multiple attempts to find out my feelings on abortion and giving a child up, and attempts to put me in situations where I could be raped. It did not seem to me that this plot was officially sanctioned, like the sexual assaults weren’t. Although multiple people seemed to be involved. It dissipated for a while when after one test, I looked up a verse, which was about leaving even your children to follow Christ. [I had not written or spoken about what I was suspecting they were attempting. Once I saw they stopped, I decided there was no reason to remain silent, as I was no longer catching them in the act, and I wrote out my suspicions. After this, the threats surfaced like the rest of the threats, and continue to be brought up as an apparent high priority whenever they could be. -10/21/20]

During this period in April, there was a sudden lull in people’s concern about what I was doing in unsurveilled spaces, both at the college and other places. It was like he had seen me pretend to place them around the college, and continued to watch me in various bathrooms. I had been very tired from the sleep disruption, and would go into bathroom stalls and let my body drop forward to rest for a few minutes. Most times I did, someone would immediately come in and do something different to bother me, including a loud conversation on the phone with lots of cussing, though it seemed it made the girl uncomfortable. This reminded me of something I heard of once: a satellite that could see through buildings.

I remember seeing a commercial of a woman showing how she would act out a scene, and how I was drawn into it. The next commercial was some offer of surrender I don’t remember, which I brushed off. That was like a conversation, testing if I understood the level of surveillance I was under, and seeing if I wanted to give up now. That lasted maybe a few weeks before they seemed to not be using that surveillance technology to see into buildings and normal tactics were resumed.

April 3rd, Around 7 pm as I was walking down the otherwise empty main hall in the …………. building, a boy came in an entrance, sighed, and walked past me holding his phone a few inches from his ear, so that the camera faced me. He was white with black hair. I followed behind him. We were the only two people there. He said nothing, and no sound came from his phone. He held it several inches away the whole time as he walked down the hall. I got a look at the screen. There was a large pink circle with the letter R in the center, small white words around the top and bottom, and a red circle near the bottom.

April 10th, I searched for the Signal app, which I tried to communicate with the Intercept with on my regular phone. I messaged them my Porcfest entry. I never received a response. This is one of the groups I tried to reach out to.

April 11th, I searched how to fix a broken wire on a charger. My laptop battery was having issues recharging.

April 12th, I visited ProtonMail. I used this to try to contact the Rutherford Institute, but received no response.

April 13th, I searched what to do if your laptop is plugged in but not charging. I had been making various copies of my evidence. In many cases, it seemed I was not getting responses I would have expected, such as on Facebook. This led me to believe there was the ability to censor content on these platforms. One of the places I put the file was on a platform called Diaspora, which is designed to not have algorithms to hide things. One of the servers hosting a node was in Germany. After this, my laptop would not power up.

April 14th, I had a technical issue with the MEGA app.

Video File:

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On Sunday I went for a drive up the mountain, and hiked to a place with a waterfall. I had scheduled an appointment to meet with my campus counselor ………….. Unfortunately, as I left my driveway and went up the second hill in my neighborhood, my transmission went out. There happened to be two utility workers there, who happened to have I believe it was transmission fluid, or something to try and help it. It did not. The two men helped push my car up the first hill, and it rolled down the other side, and with the help of a caretaker I pushed it into the driveway. College was quite far away. There were no buses that came out to that location. There weren’t even sidewalks that went out all of the way. For a while I made due without. Then I arranged to have my car looked at by the local AAMCO, which I read in a book about not getting swindled by car mechanics were extremely reliable transmission experts. I had AAA, so I had my car towed. They told me that it would cost around $2000 to repair the car. The car wasn’t worth that much. I had no income. I was using it primarily to get to a college that was more like an elementary school. But more to the point, my car was hacked. I had read that transmissions were dependent on a censor controlled by a computer to work. The way I drove on that Sunday [could] provide the plausible deniability to wreck it. Remi offered to give me rides. A caretaker told me her husband is a Honda expert, and when I said I thought I should have it taken into a shop, she shouted after me that it would be expensive, like she was discouraging me from doing that. I was told by the caretaker …………. that Remi knows car people who could look at it. The informants seemed to very much not want me to take it in to the experts. Not having a car changed things dramatically for me.

April 16th [Around this time I sent eight inquiries to Craigslist and got two responses, which failed my criteria. As I recall, there was one place I looked at, but before I even got to see it, the girl demanded I tell her what my sign was. I am very religious, and wasn’t sure I should dabble in astrology. I looked it up, and at the time it seemed okay. This girl was looking for someone to be her buddy. She also didn’t feel comfortable with me meeting the landlord, and seemed to want to keep him out of it. I saw another location on Craigslist later on closer to the college. In the description, it said the girl was very into the new age /occult. This gave me the impression that I was to be pressured to go against my faith if I wanted to find a good place to live. -3/9/20]

[My family visited me in [Tennessee]. They invited me to [sleep over, and] swim at the hotel pool, and seemed very insistent that we visit the aquarium as one of the first things. [The first two invitations had the obvious possibility of them being able to access my things.] I had a route of my favorite places in the city planned for them. In the elevator on the way out of the hotel, I showed them a picture of the Hunger Games mug I had found, “May the odds be ever in your favor.” Daniel had looked away uninterested and kind of sighed. That was a little odd. I showed them the campus, and Becky asked me if I ever spent the night there. It was a bizarre question, but if they were trying to paint me as the homeless girl, it would make sense coming from her. [There was a whole episode with campus cops mistaking me as homeless as I would stay on campus for long hours studying and am very cheap. In short, I had gone late to a building which had some locked doors. The campus police officer asked me what I was doing and when I said studying, he recommended repeatedly that I stop in by the cafeteria, which has cameras. Later one day I went to the cafeteria to open some cans, pour them into a Tupperware, and heat it in the microwave. I go to the women’s bathroom to rinse the cans before throwing them away, and I see him standing outside the bathroom door in the indent in the hall, as if he were listening to me in there. He walks away, and when I go to the college club, another cop stops by my car and asks me in a very predatory way what I am doing there all alone. When I say I am there for the club, he says, practically salivating, “So, you have access to the building.” Later I registered to vote while under the surveillance camera by the cafeteria, and the woman verified what I had written [a sworn statement with my address] before submitting it, and was visibly angry. After that the first police officer passed me as I studied one night, while “talking on his phone,” and said “Sorry” to me as though he was sorry for interrupting me, or perhaps for maligning me to the college. The second cop was also acting super friendly, like he was embarrassed to have treated me like what passes as an acceptable way to treat homeless people going to college. So there was apparently a rumor about me that I was homeless. It was very strange of Becky to ask that. It is pretty inexplicable that I would think of doing so, unless she herself thought I was homeless. I don’t know why she would think that. But it may have been an attempt to whip up more of the rumor. -9/29/20] We were at a restaurant when my sister Becky began to tell me about the Vic Mignogna case she is following. He was accused of doing something like sexually assaulting a girl. Becky continued with outrage at how incorrect it was, and how damaging it was to him. This story was sort of a parallel story to Brian and what he did at Porcfest. It appeared to me that my sister, acting as an informant, would talk about this in an attempt to discourage me from publishing my account of Andrews at Porcfest. I noted some narcissists just repeat one defense mechanism ad nauseam, and one I knew did this with threats. I said they try to cover up the things they did to you, and sometimes the things they do to cover it up are worse than the original thing. I ended up taking my family back to the car and reading them my Porcfest entry, including Andrews trying to kiss me. Daniel said it was well written, and would work well in a legal case. I wondered why he thought that, and he said it was detailed, and hearing it was like he was experiencing it with me. I showed them Brian Andrews’s picture. My father said in astonishment and disgust that he looked as old as he was. My mother retorted defensively that he could be 45. That doesn’t make much sense of my mother, to be favoring romances with atheists. It does make sense if they are under pressure to take his side. I explained to my family what narcissists were like, so as to prepare them. My mother made a comment, that if you broke too easily or too quickly that they would hate you. That was an interesting insight, which makes little sense unless she had more familiarity with this sort of situation. [My family seemed to not want me to admit that I was under an FBI investigation. They played stupid, like I was just telling them this so they could be aware what psychopaths were like. -9/29/20] We went to the location with the waterfall, and I talked with Becky for a while. She was asking if I made any friends, and if I was likely to be staying in [Tennessee] for long. Her tone was different, and reminded me how my mom was sounding these days. I said it was strange. Here I had just told everyone about psychopaths, and how they terrorize their victims, and yet no one was concerned for me. She said coolly she knew I wanted my privacy. I said that psychopaths will go after you either directly, or through anyone around you, and so to have friends would be to put them in the “line of fire." I implied that I had kept people at a distance to protect them from the worst of it. Becky described being a people person, and how you can be worn down after a long time when you are isolated. [She said not everyone was like me, as I am very independent. -11/9/20] It seemed to me she was describing the way they had broken her. I remember seeing a selfie she took, the light gone from her eyes. I had barely recognized her. I remember seeing her during one of my visits, like she was frustrated and sad, and just blocking out the world around her. Becky always had a spark in her. But I believe what I was witnessing was the result of severe psychological trauma. I had seen it in other family members to some extent as well. We went back to the hotel. My family seemed detached from each other, and indifferent to me. During lunch the next day, I took a picture of them, and they didn’t even look up at me. -2/28/20][Daniel used a phrase, “Test you like the Devil tests you.” I thought that perfectly described the assessments the agency does. On the drive back to their hotel, I kept talking to the family about scriptures like the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and how we are required to disobey when the government tells us to sin. Daniel asked again about forgiveness. I talked about Les Miserables when the man gives Jean Val Jean the silver he had stolen, and how that act of forgiveness was so unexpected and changed his life. But the man had consideration for the soul of Jean. If you just let people wrong you and forgive them, accepting their sin and leaving them in it, how is that loving their soul? Becky showed me a picture she was drawing. She told me about a game she really liked to play. In it there was a cast system with three levels. On the top level was the Romans. They were atheistic and technologically advanced. On the second level were people who had their cities destroyed by the Romans. They were sent to foreign lands to serve. They only depended on Rome and were used as hostages against each other. They would always be second class citizens, because they had been conquered. They were polytheistic. On the third level were people who were looked down on and despised by the second level. They were considered primitive, although their abilities varied. They helped their countries. These were monotheistic. -10/21/20]

April 29th, [I took my car in to have the transmission checked out. The man told me it would be thousands of dollars to repair. I decided to scrap it, and called up the company I had looked up and called before. They were to pay me $200. They arrived after some time, and when it came time to sign the title over, the boy refused to sign. He got on the phone with the owner, who seemed to suggest that is how they do business, and if I didn’t like it they had other things to do. I called up the DMV, and when I explained they had put the company name down instead of signing, the woman very urgently told me that this would not qualify, and I had to get someone to sign or else I was still liable for what happened with the car. After that call, and the boy talked for a moment to his boss, he asked me if I told the woman the name of the company and said he would sign, and was now very apologetic for giving me any trouble. He said he’d never done it like that before. -3/7/20]

May 2019

May 1st, I called voicemail, but did not turn off the speaker when typing in the password. Immediately it says my voicemail is not set up and I need to set a new password for it. I believe it had always worked before, and I had been getting notifications of stored messages.

I sent out around seven emails on May 4th to local churches asking if anyone had a room to rent. I got no responses. The 2 websites I put the message directly into the webforms did not work. When I did this trying to move to [Tennessee], I inquired at three churches, and got one or two responses.

It may have been May 6th, I was chopping carrots, a piece fell and …………., the family dog, ate it. I told [the caretaker] and she said it was fine, they can eat carrots. The next time I came down to make food, [the caretaker] looked worried and guarded the water she was boiling.

May 6th, The Airbnb website wasn't working.

May 7th, I walked to AAA and tried to load a debit card, money taken off VISA, but the employee …………. called and the website for them to put money on the card was down. She didn’t know how to refund the money. So she called help and they said they voided it, but she was worried and told me to check. She said it may take around 5 days to reimburse if it wasn’t refunded. While I was walking I stopped to address a blister, and a guy walks up, crouches next to my bag, and starts to preach, then asks personal questions. I said I didn’t know him and wasn’t comfortable. He gets up and goes straight down …………. Highway. I got an email and was checking it, and saw him approach quickly (going West on ………….) he was looking at me and gleaming. [The implication was that my bag could be snatched if I wasn’t careful. I had been carrying around a lot of critical things, including my birth certificate.]

May 8th, Problems with the AAA app.

May 9th, I go down to start the washing machine, Raelynn asks, "…………., …………., What are you doing?" even though they were not barking or disturbing at all. [It was as though something had happened to the dog after he ate the carrot I dropped, and they were afraid I had drugged him. -2/28/20]

I was looking up the possibility of attending college in Canada, but encountered some technical difficulties researching.

Video File:

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May 10th, The text boxes to let me log in to my student portal were not there. I believe I was looking to see if I had been accepted for money to pay for college.

My Airbnb app was having problems. I would have been looking for a place to stay by myself while passing through [my home town], not with my family. -3/5/20]

I put in a U-Haul rental request and it said it was expired immediately after.

May 17th, [I believe it was right after I looked up cruise ships I saw this as a recommended story: “Don’t Use My Family for Your True Crime Stories.” If this was to suggest a threat to harm/kill family members if I got away from him, it would violate the torture statue, and is also consistent with an obsessed psychopath. -3/5/20]

Video file:

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May 21st, [I had just called U-Haul that morning and made a reservation. Closer towards noon, I hear there is some commotion at the neighbor’s house. There are several police cars with their lights going, some blocking our driveway. There is an ambulance in the driveway of the neighbors. These were the ones with the ………….. The police officers did not seem agitated. After a while, the ambulance slowly went away. It seemed to be there was some sort of threat because of the police presence, but not enough of an active situation for them to be agitated. There was an ambulance, but it moved away slowly, which means someone was either dead or not in critical need of getting to the hospital quickly. It seemed to me to be an unrealized threat of physical harm, and I suspected that Andrews had made threats of suicide after it became real that I was leaving. It would follow a trend of the agents staying as close by as possible, and it would make sense if he stayed in that building that he was able to sneak into my room the time I left the window open and sexually assault me. When I later told my mother about this, after a pause, she asked if I had spoken to Ace, who is the “competition.” This helps to demonstrate the severity of Andrews’s obsession with me. -3/7/20]

May 25th, The Airbnb webpage was not available. Access to housing was obstructed in this and many other cases.

Thursday, May 23rd, I arrive around 11 am. I tell mom I’m going to Canada. She wonders if I’m waiting on a passport. Before that she kept offering to let me keep more stuff here. I asked her why and noted her attitude on that seems to have changed. She paused for a long while then said it was because they no longer thought that they had to sell the house. Dad asked if I was taking a camera to Canada. [Given it was a means to create evidence that was not easily hackable, that was a concern of theirs. -11/9/20] Mom told me she had to cut off her mom from Facebook because her mom wouldn’t stop worshiping Donald Trump. I talked about my conversation on justplainpolitics, and how some people refuse to listen. She excused herself to the bathroom but took no time, then shouted from there a question/comment she had already asked about Justin Amash saying the president should be impeached. She went on about it.

She showed me something she posted on Facebook, … and pointed to the story which was about improving relationships by saying how a thing made you feel. Mom "urged" me to turn on the AC before bed. [Likely drugged?]

Friday, May 24th, internet down all morning and early afternoon. Daniel didn’t want to get up to reset it. Mom said I could take her car and go to the library. I got my bike out, and then she said she had to take Jade to the library to do math anyway. Mom suggested I not leave the AC on in my room. [The internet being down is the typical disruption routine. Mom encouraging me to take her car and then telling me I shouldn’t leave the AC on, could be because I was being drugged and she was concerned about too much of a dose, meaning I would be told to drive while drugged, just like in Maryland. Also, she conveniently followed me to the library.]

Daniel has gotten two call backs since I’ve been here. [Just like dad got a call every day I was there before, now Daniel is. Highly improbable. -2/28/20]

I showed parent’s my testimony as a kid. We talked about hell. Mom said some people don’t want to believe in God because they are offended by hell. [Sounds like Brian Andrews.] I said that is because they don’t know that evil is evil. I said I didn’t morally object to God on this. Mom argued that hell isn’t eternal punishment, saying it was just academic, but she was personally invested in some way. … Mom asked me if I was going through every little thing. I said no, just thinning stuff out.

Saturday, May 25th…I ask about Roku TV. Mom nervously says it’s not taking our picture. Dad nervously says it is for lots of TV shows. I note its odd location. He says nothing. [Informants may be tasked with getting the surveillance themselves. It seems they preferred if I didn’t know where. -2/28/20] ... Becky said Vic Mignogna tried to serve the girl [who accused him] papers but she ran away, but she can still be served if it is taped to the door and a picture is taken. [Andrew’s threats were nothing to me. My mind wasn’t changed and I wasn’t intimidated.] Mom later tells me a story on how it is polite to ghost parties and just leave without bothering people.

Sunday, May 26th, I went to …………., spoke with ………….. Over lunch Mom mentions someone on Facebook who needs [the services of the business of the person I had just spoken with, as though giving me an opportunity to bring up my conversation with this person]. Evening card game. Mom changes the song, "If I just lay here" because she didn’t like the words. [Why not? I thought she must know about Andrews sneaking into my room and laying next to me. If his crimes were already broadly known, it is telling that he was still allowed to continue to investigate me. -2/28/20] We played cards and showed family slides. I stay late with my family to watch slides. [Becky had gotten up to leave earlier, and mom had suggested the idea of leaving parties soon. –2/28/20]

Monday, May 27th, Munga’s photo book was out the next morning. Test: do I care about family history? Mom asks me if I need help with anything or any equipment. Test: did I stay late to suck up and get stuff? Having "ruled these out" by me not reacting, they conclude my motivation must be to spend time with my family. It is then used as a threat. Mom says she had a nightmare where she left …………. meeting she was running, and they voted her out while she was gone. She said those were "her people," the only Christians she fellowshipped with. It was terrible to be kicked out, and she wondered what could she do to make sure that didn’t happen. Then she sits by me and... tells me [a student] disrupts classes she teaches, and is not respectful, though the other kids are. She prepares a great class but if [the student] ruins it, she doesn’t want to. She asks me if I have ever had that problem. I have not. She says [the student] doesn’t listen, and it is the disdain that gets to her. She sends [the student] away when that happens. I tell her she used to just say to me "I’m sorry, I can’t hear you when you’re being disrespectful." She didn’t take it personally or punish... I had suggested more delight directed learning, more choices, autonomy, project oriented learning (her eyes lit up at this). [It seemed Andrews did not know what to do with me. My mother had a distant concerned look on her face. The advice I gave her of how to deal with a disrespectful student is perhaps not how Andrews would like to be told to deal with me. The note on project oriented learning could be a useful piece of intelligence to know what I would substitute college with, and what could be disrupted next.]

Tuesday, May 28th, I drive with dad to …………., and his car breaks down at ………….? It will not go fast, and the axle is breaking. It took around $360 to replace. We spend the afternoon walking and talking, then get back on the road to …………. when the car overheats. Daddy says that has NEVER happened to that car before. He keeps wondering since it is an older car if he should spend the thousands to repair it, or get it replaced. (Exactly like what just happened with my car.) While in …………., his voicemail stops working, just like mine did a few weeks ago.

Wednesday, May 29th, Mom says she thinks her laptop is done, but she thinks it’s just the wire going bad, exactly like my laptop did recently.

Thursday, May 30th, Last time I visited, when [Daniel] mentioned Avery, I reacted. His bible study was cancelled so I couldn’t meet him there, and then he was not at church on Sunday so I couldn’t meet him there. (So Daniel told me.)

Friday, May 31st, [As I am leaving the house, I brought my massive luggage with me. My dad tries to pick it up, and they insist it is too much. I get angry, and say it is fine. -2/28/20] Dad drops me off no problem at Tysons corner. The red line was delayed due to train issues. The lady at greyhound won’t let me on the bus with the heavy package, just like my argument with mom that morning, so I haul my luggage around Union station, ask, buy 3 boxes for $15, and repackage, paying $33 for extra luggage. No overweight fee, no boxes, bags, or shipping available at greyhound, and no flexibility. The first bus is pulled over due to issues and we have an unexpected transfer. [At the [second] transfer location, I need help moving my luggage as it has been repackaged into various smaller boxes. We had to move quickly through a large building. When I get to the bus, the man says he brought my luggage and asks for a tip. I give him one dollar. I find that the cardboard has been torn, which would have taken some effort. -3-14-20] The second bus breaks down in the middle of the highway right outside New York City. We wait in/out for hours for a new bus. Then we have extra people so the bus driver is freaking out wondering where they came from. We all have to get off the bus to show tickets again. I make a fun video reporting it, and then the driver realizes there are fewer seats on the bus... [This is typical. It is like I showed I wasn't bothered, so they stopped the harassment attack on that topic. They usually have an innocent explanation after they are done threatening. -11/9/20] We should have arrived at the border by around 11:40 pm, and arrived around 6:30 am.