Hello community, as you know on Monday they banned me and because in a certain way I am trying to replace my badly damaged account, I will not go into detail but I will do what I like to do and why I stay here in steemit and I've been doing it for two years now without any problem until yesterday. Anyway; I want to tell you a little about how I have survived these last months in Venezuela, because the truth is that I call it survival to the extreme. To start posting it has become complicated I must admit, so maybe I got some gaps in the news I was discussing in the post, some copy and paste, because I'm practically working with my fingernails from my cell phone when I have data from internet and well then; I do not have a great cell phone either, but I wanted to keep my account active and also inform those who follow me about the craziness that is happening in Venezuela, I suppose this was the reason why what happened to me happened to me, regretting my account so much from being level 57 to what it is today. I'm sad, I'm upset; with me above all because I was not careful as I always have been, but they are gajes of the trade, now I only hope to recover my motivation (which is quite low) and recover my reputation on the platform. This is a lesson and I hope that no one who does it without bad intention happens, because of course those who do things on purpose and publish bad content is implied that it is not the right thing to be, in short already digress what was going, story; Despite this madness something great happened to me and it is that I got a job that although it is not my career is something that I like a lot ... Guess: Creative editor. As everyone knows the salary in Venezuela is very low, here I earn a little more than the minimum approximately $ 20 every 15 days and then I do something that I really like, write. But it has been difficult to prove that I am good at this, because many tools are needed to be able to do a good job, I call it a computer, internet and light. Something that fails a lot, but a lot in Venezuela and in recent months have been crazy, I could say that they have been more days without electricity than with electrical system working well. That's nothing, having money on your cards does not work because the points of sale in any store depend on internet and electricity. And you will say, What about cash? Well that does not exist in Venezuela, with the highest denomination ticket you really do not buy anything. My patience is at the limit the last hours, products have been damaged in my house like food, light bulbs have been damaged, everything is a disaster, we live in a chaos generated by the most terrible administration that has passed through Venezuela, at times I want to run away and flee, then remember that really flee and be an emigrant has its details, I would not leave without money, because I think that to spend bad times better I stay in Venezuela, the truth is not easy, and if I would be happy to know other places but I feel that it is not the right moment because I think we are on the verge of something happening, I do not know if it will be very good or extremely bad. (I hope it is the first option). In my house we are very stressed with everything that is happening because we are really feeling the crisis, there are days when food is quite limited, even for our pets that are several, imagine how I was yesterday when I saw that my account had lost the level, almost exploded in tears, but I think that everything that happens to me is to make me stronger, because in the end my account of steemit I have a more emotional value because what gender in it really does not reach me much in Venezuela, I think what makes me happy to have it is to have a medium or platform to show what happens in this small Caribbean country.

As I go, I feel that these last months I have been placing a giant rock in the back, it is too imprisoning, suffocating, I really wish there is a light at the end of the tunnel because I do not know how much a crisis like the one We are living, we do not know when there will be light, the internet is a myth in the houses, because it is said that the platform is manipulated by the government and makes sense, they seek that we are totally uninformed and apparently they are achieving it. I am afraid to stay in this country for years and not leave this hole, I am afraid of reaching a certain age and not having any good, property or something to offer my parents, I am afraid of starting a family; I have refused to create emotional bonds many times because of the situation we are in, for me we are at a leisurely moment in history but the truth is that days go by and the years are not subtracted but they add up, that scares me, I regret and I think we would understand that we Venezuelans, even the younger ones to deserve this, par suffer for a system that we never chose, the days go unanswered, uncertainty seizes every face, the streets are lonely, filled of garbage and silence.

The ghost towns of the revolution

As I have seen in documentaries and photos of Havana, they are the streets of the cities of Venezuela now, the inhabitants peek out between the doors and the windows waiting and wishing for a change, some sell some things to rummage, but in the end nothing reached, the money vanishes like the dreams of all those who still have a shred of hope, stray dogs were noticed bones, grandparents have more wrinkles and faces of every citizen looks tired and tormented by the emptiness of a country that I snatch everything he once had. With the sunken eyes of hunger and dark circles of dark circles walk hours after hours to get jobs that do not even buy a decent market in a month, the misfortune took over my town and full of gray hair, wrinkles, discomfort and despair . Will we smile again one day without worrying about tomorrow's food?
With the stomach and the empty heart so many people wander every day watching to see that they joke to get anything to take home, the sadness is now beyond a long face, the sadness is the voice of everyone answer when you ask how these? And you answer "Well, as far as it goes, ... Fighting" I've been told so much, I've said it so much, the struggle is no longer to recover Venezuela but to recover our life, to recover day by day, to recover the weight that so many have lost, to recover the family that has left, the struggle has demoralized many spiritually and it is that there is an atmosphere of tense calm, of neglect, of forgetfulness that becomes contagious, and it is not fair; It is not fair that our concern is that we are going to eat tomorrow or that we have to walk for hours to get a poorly paid job, or that you can not carry a valuable or cellular item with you because they can steal you, the worries of a my age should be other, they should be worries to form a family, to bet for a better position, to buy a new car, a house, that I know. They have created ghost towns in Venezuela, and we are all the ghosts that roam about them, we are the faces of the sadness of a country that is in ruins, in a breakdown, a country that was rich and was horribly despoiled and destroyed by a small group, but that is so bad and has so much power and has been so well trained to create social control that has us as it has us, numbed. I only ask that the little hope that was reborn thanks to Guaido does not fall again, we want to find the quickest exit to this disaster badly called "revolution".

@raquel.ramirezv