No title. I can't seem to have a title for this. But I just wrote something does that make it a title?

I told him what I'm feeling. He found my writing beautiful. Well who wouldn't? Wait bring the ego down Genesis. I guess that's why it's hard to for me to make friends. I have such a high ego of myself when in reality I don't know anything. I'm scared of everything. But mostly being alone. I love when I am taking a trip and my boyfriend drives and I'm sitting in the passenger seat and we're in the car for hours just driving. I love that. But when I'm the one driving I get very lazy. I love being driven around especially when it's a long drive somewhere. I am a gypsy. I don't know if you've heard the saying "Not all who wander are lost." Well sadly I'm not the all. I'm lost. I really want to be up in the canyons of Utah and just sit there and look up at the sky and meditate. I've always wondered why am I so needy? But sometimes I want to be alone. The hypocrisy is real. I don't think anyone takes their time of day even to understand me. It's sad really. But if you find me in the streets I'm the girl with the most widest smile ever. Laughing and singing out loud. I don't like it when people see me sad. Well no one does. We all want to be seen as someone who is brave enough to handle their own battles. But can we really? I can't. I need help. I need someone to listen to me and understand me and give me their time of day. But no one does. I rarely get asked "how's your day been?" Or "what did you do today?" And my favorite one "how are you feeling?" I hardly get asked those questions. I always ask myself those questions but does it help me when I'm the only listening to myself? Apparently it doesn't if I still have these days where I think of these things. I usually end up just saying how I feel to others without anyone really asking me. I just yell it out. I need people to be patient with me. I'm constantly changing my mind. I wonder how it feels to not be changing your mind constantly. I think about something and there I go changing my mind. Why do I do that? There's something way worse going on that it's too big to say. And no it's not suicide or drugs. Maybe I'll save it for another day. If I decide to say it. I'm getting upset again. My moods are constantly changing. It's bad. I don't like it one bit. My head hurts. I'm getting tired. Sometimes I want to tell him all of these writings but I feel one thing I say can make me look weird in the eyes of others? Why? I want to be in a place where it's quiet but that won't happen for a while. This is what happens when you live in a house of 5. I'm losing track again. I better go.