The hiring practices for software engineers are so screwed up as to provide endless comedy. If you invest a modicum of your self worth in what an interviewer says about you, you're fucked on site. Instead, look at the interviewer as someone who is a complete FOOL until proven otherwise. They will rarely prove themselves otherwise. This is the most sane starting basis for interviews. I'm not being sarcastic about this for once and speaking from painful experience.
Forget what your square parents told you about jobs and interviews
I had to unlearn what my parents taught me growing up. They wore suits to work everyday and had the usual baby boomer ideals of professionalism. Throw this shit out the window for interviews. This stuff only proves useful when you get the job and hope to keep it for the long-term. Until then, it's holding you back.
Do you have respect for the profession and company you're interviewing with? Do you want to wear a good suit or at least an ironed Oxford shirt and nice shoes that aren't sneakers? Cool. That's noble and all. I hope I get to work alongside someone like you. Here's a newsflash: Don't dress up and show overbearing respect for anything.
Showing up in professional attire almost always marks against you. It makes it seem you have no experience working in an office as a programmer. This may be the case, but don't show that. Since code monkeys rarely see customers and are too cool for school by the pool, most of them show up to work in T-shirts and shorts.
I will add, however, that good hygiene is still important. Clean breath and armpits are always good. Interviewers know they will have to work in close proximity to you and stinky programmers are rampant. No amount of skill can compensate for your stench.
Suits are over the top. I've seen fuckers actually laugh after interviewing someone who showed up in a suit.
Stable Longevity and Adaptability don't give you the credibility they should
The older generation may have taught you staying a steady course, with steadily increasing contributions, is a worthy goal. And it still is. But people in this industry don't know common sense if it slapped them on the ass.
Maddeningly, some folks get a job just because they spent hours polishing a portfolio and GitHub account. Those are all important, but interviewers give way too much credit to these, if not all the credit. The fact that you've stayed at companies longer than 4 months and they would like to have you back isn't given credit you'd think.
The fact that you showed up day in and day out, as a friendly contributor to company projects, and the company grew as a result -- that's hard for a "rockstar" to hype up. Rockstars don't have patience for the work ethic and trustworthiness BS.
This, to me, shows that companies are completely backwards. Why give up some of the oldest, most proven characteristics of a good employee for a new process built on magical thinking and superstition?
So polish up your meme portfolios and hype up the fuck out of them like they're the best thing since fizz-buzz.
Don't have patience for "rounds of interviews"
This is mostly from my personal experience and perhaps others have different opinions -- good for you.
I've wasted so much time on interviews that go on endlessly. When you're showing up for the third or fourth IN-PERSON interview, you're fucked. It's been shown that more interviews have decreasing returns and start to work against you. Interviewees start to look like the average person they are like everyone else. Ironically, companies start to look to interviewees like the average companies they are, too.
I have a lot of respect for companies that have an upfront breakdown of what to expect in interviewing. Something as simple as:
- Phone screening
- Practice test
- In-person interview
- Perhaps one more in-person interview with a larger group
- Offer
That's a good sign. They've probably figured out the good programmers move on quick when the process is murky and leads down an endless trail.
It makes me immensely pissed when employers show disrespect for good human beings by sucking down their time and energy when there's no good reason.
Tell them you have an offer on the table and you don't have any more time to fuck around
Once you've chatted with them and you know they've seen all they can, it's time to tell them to fuck off. Telling them you already have an offer starts to light some fires when people think you have options and aren't desperate. Have the balls to be ballsy, in other words. That's what "rockstars" do between their cocaine binges. Or at minimum, have some self respect.
Sure, they could say they're done with you. But I promise you didn't miss out when you don't get to see their eggshell white office walls for the fifth time.