I read a book on the subject by a clinical psychologist, Alison Miller, it is called Healing The Unimaginable. I read it because I had a boyfriend whose family belonged to a religious group called N-C.. Clearly, he treated me in the way he was treated, so he lied constantly and tried to be manipulative in the way he behaved. Of course I didn't know this at the beginning. I couldn't understand how someone so handsome, loving and tender could be so mean at the same time, as a form of control and to subjugate me. It was all extremely confusing, his behaviour was changing so much, it didn't make any sense. At one point he pretended not to know me, when the week before he professed to love me dearly. When I read the book I mentioned, I could see in him a lot of traits and behaviours described and explained. I am not saying that the N-C.. practice abusive behaviour intentionally, however their closed group mentality, the hierarchical system of power, the strong mental manipulations based on fear of the devil from a young age, the withdrawal of affection to those who simply raise questions, etc. may create traumas and puppets prone to follow orders and perpetrate abusive conducts. I am really sorry to say this, because I can see that potentially, there was a lot of good in both the person I knew and his family, but how can one reach the point of saying "you are lucky we are Catholics, or you would have found two bullets in your head"?
It never happened to me previously in my life.