5 Unusual Ways You Can Stop Being a Sheep

This is Lambshank the sheep. It romantically looks as though she’s been inspired to leave the paddock or is dreaming of a land where she can be free, pursuing her Instagram celebrity career, or choosing a STEM subject to study at university (because ewes can do anything rams can), or even becoming a perpetual traveler with multiple citizenships to stop being stuck in any one system of slavery to the central bank... but I can assure you she’s not. As soon as the rest of the herd started moving after I took this photo, she joined right in and got stuck trying to fit through the gate. And that’s not even a fraction of her later manifested stupidity.

I called this article 5 unusual ways you can stop being a sheep. That was a lie, it was clickbait - there’s really only one way, and that’s not having sheep DNA. *audience politely chuckles at awful joke * It’s actually reasonably easy to stop being a human sheep though (I think) and I only really know one way. QUESTION EVERYTHING. I think that’s about it? Maybe a few more questions after that, and a few lifestyle adjustments after that. I know that the grass looks tasty, and a nice government puts out fresh water for us every day (not too much though, wouldn't want us to stockpile any for a journey) and - oh look, Mutton and Halal are following Roasty through the stile, we better go too or we might miss out on that tasty patch of grass.

There's nothing wrong with safety in numbers, don't get me wrong. That's natural for humans too. But make no mistake, someone will make use of us. We’re being Led. To. The. Slaughter. Oh I know, a little over-dramatic there, but it's a sheep theme. Our government (in most parts of the world) is eroding our freedoms close to daily. The systems have long been set up, family structure destroyed, anti-discrimination acts passed, state authority granted… all they need is a terrorist act here, or a vaccine-preventable death there, and each catalyst will pass a new bill (that was already written and waiting for a catalytic event to get public approval) that will take away one more piece of limited freedom during a late-shift parliament session with few people present and no media reports to let you know how far they actually went with deciding what privacy the little plebs are no longer entitled to.

I promise I’m not a crazy person. I’m a young mum with a university background in applied science and education (I'm now a stay at home mum who doesn't use any of those degrees). I have three kids and a husband (who fortunately does use his training and keeps us fed). I ate pizza tonight, I love writing and creating books and art but those times are rare. A more common activity I quite enjoy is sweeping, a more common activity I quite dislike is picking up the toys off the floor so I can sweep. I like tea and red wine. I’m Australian. Actually, that was fairly difficult and they’re the only normal things I could think of so I possibly am a bit odd, but isn't everybody? I don’t watch TV, I homebirth (which I highly recommend if you want to love birth), third wave feminism makes me vomit in my mouth a little bit, I want to homeschool even though we're not Amish, I lean libertarian, God gives me courage, I want marijuana legalised, oppose family-destructive statist agendas but not gay marriage on its own, usually eat closer to Paleo but like a really lazy Paleo caveman who happened to live next to a baker. I don’t like church and state mixing, I like science, I dislike science industry that leads to bad methodology and data manipulation, I don’t vaccinate anymore even though I think they work. I don’t like the ethics of the meat industry, but we kill sheep. I make my own deodorant.

I just want to discuss what I’ve picked up along the journey of realizing my freedom is nearly gone. Don’t worry, you can still put on deodorant if you want to! That doesn’t make you a sheep. Much. I haven't moved too far off the figurative paddock just yet (we did just literally move off a paddock at the end of last year to suburbia temporarily). Probably only just reached the figurative fence and figuring out how to break out and I doubt I'll tell you too much you don’t know. I mean I don’t even know, maybe I’m really a sheep. There are other people who believe what I do and maybe I’ve just joined a new herd, huh? Maybe we’re just living in a giant drove that’s got an inner herd and a flock inside that, maybe it’s all just meta-sheep and there’s NOTHING ELSE OUT THERE. That’s depressing 😂. Still, I like to believe I’m heading for the outside of the fence and in the coming months I’d love to post some examples of things I’ve found and discuss the plausibility and ramifications of these things. You can make up your own mind on whether you’re a sheep or not. I mean it's not the worst thing, you could be a corrupt shepherd.

You probably already know it can be somewhat comfortable to be a sheep but it can be dangerous. If you’re on Steemit then you probably already don’t believe all the crap that comes your way, being that you somehow got involved in a non-mainstream, cryptocurrency blog like this. Which is great, because, in another great but graphic sheep story (please don't read ahead if you are vegan for ethical reasons), you don’t want to end up like Lambshank...

One day it came time for her brother to become dinner (I’m so sorry young Boney M). We put some feed in the trough to get him to come and eat so we could shoot him easily (there is really no thrill in a sheep hunt). Lambshank followed and started eating the feed as well, right up close to him. My husband got out the gun and shot Boney M in the head - blood sprays Lambshank and the trough, and Boney M falls over... you know, the expected things that happen when you shoot something. I made some tasty dishes with him later.

But back to Lambshank. I don’t know what I expected but in my head I supposed there’d be some sort of devastated sheep grieving ceremony with mournful bleating and pitiful nudging of the lifeless body all to no avail, I would've joined in crying and comforted her, given psychology sessions for her lifelong trauma of feed troughs…

However, as the gun sounded, she jumped a little, without removing her head from the trough. She never stopped eating, and stepped a little to the left to avoid her brother's body falling on her, then adjusted her blood-sprayed body's position to reach around his head to access the trough. She just saw pretty much the most dangerous and catastrophic thing that could possibly happen to her, a mere 5cm from where she was standing, and she didn't even flick a glance in that direction.

Look around you. Medical and anti-religious kidnap by the state; left (and right), statist, censored media; central banking, corruption and loss of freedom (and this list is barely a scratch on the surface). Not sure where you are but I see a lot of oblivious Lambshanks.

Keep questioning 😉

P.S

For the actual sheep who are reading this because they really wanted to hear about five unusual ways to stop being a literal sheep, please don't storm off in disgust, I really wouldn't want to lose all my sheep followers, so I have strained my mind (because it's a bloody difficult task to think of one way, let alone five) and I hope I can be helpful to you.

5 Unusual Ways to Stop Being a Sheep

Photo credit kidhotsauce

1. Disguise yourself and perform identity theft. You have no idea how many times it's been done to you already.

2. Inject other DNA along with retroviruses for genome insertion into your own DNA and wait for mutagenic effects that may pass down into your children and later their DNA can be further altered to pass to their children. Perhaps over many generations you will create a new species that doesn't qualify as a sheep. Although, judging by the 60 years humans may have been doing this through vaccination, it may not make a stronger species.

3. Another fairly unpleasant method (I assume) could be dying. Even after death, you will be referred to as a dead sheep for a while, but as time goes on, you will become dirt and maggot faeces. A type of reincarnation you could say, quite spiritual really.

4. Not sure if you've noticed, but in the human world you can change your biology with a click of your fingers. Some males just say they are female (or vice versa), and click, they just are. They now perform in female categories in sporting events and use women's change rooms and have babies. Oh wait, not the babies. Yet. So just tell everyone you're not a sheep. It could perhaps be that simple!

5. Maybe move to New Zealand. I've heard the lines are blurred over there.

Good luck, sheep.