Hello everyone! I'm Camilla

I'm a 27 year old philosophy student from Norway. I recently delivered my last exams so now I'm free to steem fulltime!

I live in Oslo with my soulmate and best friend Christan Lains (CLains) who many of you know already. He has been into crypto since I met him, 5 years ago, so I have followed all the ups and downs of this environment. He is super entusiastic about steem and I can understand why. It is certainly a promising platform.
There are many things I could tell about myself, everyone have a story to tell no matter how uninteresting. I do not like to talk about myself for two reasons; first I fear negative attention and secondly I'm not sure if I know who I am.. But I will give it a try. :)
I was born in the worlds most northern city Hammerfest where my mother is from. When I was 1 year old my father built a house for us in a small place called Straumsnes.

This is where he grew up and we had our grandparents right next door and uncles and aunts and cousins everywhere. It was a safe environment to grow up in, and me and my siblings was totally free. There was no rules about when we had to come home at night because there are basically no dangers in this place, just a lot of beautiful nature. On the other hand we grew up in a very pious christian sect called Lestadianism. I was a bright child and understood all they was preaching about sin and hell and the devil. This imbeded in me a deep sense of guilt and shame as well as a severe fear of death, which Im still struggling with.

When I was 10 we moved to southern norway to a city called Risør. My father got a job at a boat building place, as he is educated as a wooden boat builder. None of us really liked it there; I was a shy and introverted child and isolated myself in school. I was the social outcast with the wrong dialect and the wrong clothes (we never had money for nice clothes and things other kids had). I read a lot of fantasy books, wrote sad poems and drew crazy pictures to escape reality. Here is some of my art:

My family longed to go back to northern Norway, so we packed our things and moved into the old house that my great grandfather built in his days. My parents still live there now and it is a beautiful piece of land, right next to the ocean. I can wake up and run down to look at the waves before breakfast.

Moving back did not help my social anxiety though, I was still an outsider having been away for 3 years and so I tried to avoid people as much as possible. At the same time I longed for love and friendship even if this was my greatest fear. I still struggle with this duality of wanting to bee seen and hiding in the shadows, afraid of the light of attention. This brought me into a few unhappy relationships. Then I met CLains. We had actually been chatting online since I was 13, but when I moved to Oslo at 22, we fell in love and have kept deepening our love since then.

He inspired me to study philosophy and I have just finished my first year with great grades (superproud). I always did good in school and I have a bachelor already in social science. I had an idea that I was going to help children and teenagers, but I realized that I do not have the social and mental strenght for that work. I have to heal myself before I can heal others. I have dived into the spiritual and psychedelic mysteries of life and I'm finding great help in all the gurus and saints from buddhism and Christian mystisism. I am now reading the biography of st. Theresa of Avila. She is teaching me the true value of humility and gratitude. I`m starting to learn about the human potential for nobility, truth, creativity and peace. We do not have to settle for the vanity and greed of normal life.