Sovereign Spirit | One Woman's Path from Shameful Sheep to Spiritual Sovereignty | Chapter Five, Part Three

Sovereign Spirit
..One Woman's Path from Shameful Sheep to Spiritual Sovereignty

Chapter Five, Part Three

There were several reasons that brought me to this conclusion:

1. The New World Translation and the name Jehovah.
   I was taught that in the early days, when Jehovah’s Witnesses were just forming, zealous Bible students went back to the ancient Hebrew and Greek texts and re-translated the Christian scriptures. They claimed to have done so with no preconceived notions of what the text should say (which I later learned was false.) They also claimed to be experts in the languages of Greek and Hebrew so as to complete this arduous task of translating these ancient texts (which I also later learned was false.) The New World Translation was supposed to be a more accurate representation of the Bible as we know it. Interestingly, these small changes in wording made for significant changes in doctrine, namely the divinity of Jesus Christ.

The early Jehovah’s Witnesses also recognized that Jehovah’s name had been taken out of the Bible over the centuries. The sacred name had been removed due to Jewish superstition over using the name, and the tetragrammaton YHWH had been used in its place. Jehovah’s Witnesses felt it imperative that the name be re-inserted where it had been removed, and that Jehovah’s name be used out loud in prayer, services, and basically, as often as possible.

I had never learned the history of the Bible, and I still wouldn’t learn the most important parts of it until years later, but this new information about the word of God being tampered with and changed over the years bothered me. I thought it was important that we all have God’s original words in hand, his thoughts as he meant them, and I was grateful that Jehovah’s Witnesses had taken on such a daunting task.

Also, I thought that if God had given us his name to use, then we should use it. It shouldn’t be something obscure or unmentionable. It was enlightening to learn that God had a name in the first place; oddly, it was something I’d never considered God having before. Using it made me feel special, like I was on a first name basis with the creator of all that is.

1. Pagan practices within Christianity.
   When Anna presented me with the idea that many customs and traditions within the Christian faith had their roots in pagan practices, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. For starters, I didn’t even have a clear understanding of what a pagan was. I thought pagans were just people way back when who believed in gods like Zeus and Athena. I associated them with Satan and black magic and dark, evil ceremonies. Based on my years in church and reading the Bible on my own, these were the conclusions I’d come to. I couldn’t fathom Christianity having anything to do with these - what I had been taught were - sordid ancient religions.

Anna suggested I do some research on the matter. She wanted me to find the proof on my own instead of her hand-feeding it to me. I liked that. So, I did a quick internet search, and made sure my sources weren’t religiously biased. I was shocked to find that almost every holiday Christians celebrate stemmed back to traditions and celebrations from pagan times and pagan practices.

My life’s foundation felt its first round of shock waves. Cracks and fissures formed that would never be repaired. The walls that had so sheltered me were sent into quick disintegration, splintering off into unfamiliar pieces and crumbling to the floor.

My world shattered.

I couldn’t believe I hadn’t been taught about this in church. I didn’t understand why the church would be involved in anything pagan. I was enraged that this information had been hidden from me, and a seed of distrust towards the church sprouted in my mind whose roots would dig in deeper and deeper as time passed on.

3)Armageddon and the New World Paradise
Jehovah’s Witnesses are an apocalyptic religion. They are very concerned with and well versed in all things pertaining to the “end times.” Their belief is that Armageddon will happen any day now, very likely today, so you’d better be ready.

Growing up in a Southern Baptist church, Armageddon wasn’t discussed much. In fact, the entire book of Revelation was largely ignored. No one really knew how to interpret it, and therefore no one knew how to teach it. The “end times” were something we believed were happening already, but nobody was really sure about what the events leading up to Christ’s second coming and Armageddon would be like. Most of us Christians believed that Christ’s true followers would be carried up into the clouds at an event we called “the Rapture,” at Christ’s second coming, and that we never even have to experience Armageddon. But no one was really sure.

Jehovah’s Witnesses seemed to know all about Armageddon. Much of their religion is based around the idea that there isn’t much time left, and their goal is to gather as many sheep as they can into their flock before the big, bad day comes. The sense of urgency is constant, and pervades every aspect of JW life. This is the reason you see them on your doorstep at nine o’clock in the morning on Saturdays. Sleeping in or enjoying a day off isn’t an option for devout JWs. They’re on a mission to save you from destruction.

At Armageddon, Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that all other religions will be destroyed. This “system of things,” meaning the current structure of the world as we know it, will fall apart. Churches, mosques, and temples will crumble at the damning point of Jehovah’s finger, and any inhabitants will be crushed along with them. It’s believed that all followers of religions other than Jehovah’s Witnesses will be destroyed by Jehovah’s hand, which is an overwhelmingly large percentage of earth’s population today. Jehovah would only spare those who called themselves by his name. The streets would be littered with bodies everywhere, and rivers of blood would spill into the oceans. Satan and his demons would be locked away in “the abyss” where he could no longer have any affect on humans. Birds and other animals would peck away at the dead until they were no more. The humans remaining, the chosen faithful few, would have the “privilege” of cleaning up the earth and transforming it into a utopian paradise, under the direction of a select 144,000 people who go up to Heaven to rule over earth with Jesus. Jehovah’s Witnesses who had previously died will rise from their graves to be reunited with their families and help in the restoration of the planet. Once the earth was restored, all would live in peace and harmony, in an earth-wide garden, where we would enjoy eternal life as it was meant to be. Humans would enjoy living in this idyllic state for one thousand years, after which Satan would be released to tempt and corrupt humanity one last time. Any who fell for his seduction and turned against Jehovah would be destroyed in a final battle, along with Satan, for eternity. This is called the “final judgement.” Afterwards, the earth would populated with only the purest of heart, the true followers of Jehovah. Humanity would live united without threat of death or disease, and the earth would serve as their garden home forever.

I freely admit it, I am an idealistic thinker. The idea of living forever in paradisal conditions was irresistible. I had never enjoyed the thought of eternal paradise in heaven very much. What would I do up in the clouds for an unending amount of time? It almost seemed boring, like not much to look forward to, though I would never have admitted it out loud. The thought of paradise taking place on the earth, surrounded by the beauty of nature, where I would have all the time in the world to explore, learn, and engage with kind hearted, like-minded people appealed to me deeply.

As I had almost no friends or family who were Jehovah’s Witnesses, however, the process for getting to Paradise did not sit well with me. Almost everyone I loved about were strong believers in Christianity. But, the more I started to believe in JW theology, the more convinced I became that I would be able to easily convince my friends and family that Jehovah’s Witnesses were right, and we’d all been duped.

I was able to rest a bit easier when I learned that even if I couldn’t persuade them, the alternative to eternal reward when one dies for Jehovah’s Witnesses is much different than the Hell Christians fear.

4)Hell
In JW theology, there is no such place as Hell. No one is tormented when he dies, no matter what religion he chose while he was alive. This, for me, was an enormous relief. I didn’t have to worry about my friends and family suffering eternally if they didn’t convert to Jehovah’s Witnesses like I hoped they would. They would simply cease to exist. I would miss them severely, yes, but it was a much better alternative to the fiery torment I’d always feared.

The idea of a non-existent Hell made for a much more loving God in my mind. What sort of “love” sends people to live in unescapable torment forever? I had never thought about it before, but it certainly made sense. My positive thoughts and feelings about my beloved Baptist church became fewer and fewer.

As I was presented with these new interpretations of the Bible, I was given several scriptures as points of reference to back up each one. Oftentimes, answers to my questions would be given before I even had time to form them completely in my mind. Scripture was always used to prove their doctrine, which, since I was already sold on the idea that the Bible contained the sacred words of God himself, left little room for doubts to form.

I was impressed with the way Jehovah’s Witnesses used the Bible. In my church, only a small section of the Bible, as little as one verse and a paragraph or two at most, was used as the basis for an entire forty-five minute long sermon. There were many words from the preacher, but few from the Bible itself. With Jehovah’s Witnesses, it was the opposite. Most of the talking came from scripture. They used the entire Bible, always bouncing around from New Testament to Old, from one scripture to the next.

I began studying more in depth with Helen, my Bible study conductor. I accompanied her to meetings at the Kingdom Hall on a more regular basis, and when I would go home on the weekends, I would attend one of the local Kingdom Halls there on my own. I was beginning to meet other Jehovah’s Witnesses, and soon I was being invited to out for dinner and other activities like putt-putt golf or game night.

I was surprised at the friendliness I was met with. The JWs I was meeting were so caring towards me, a complete stranger, and they tried to make me feel like I was part of the group. They called each other brothers and sisters, and I liked that. I could feel the unity among them, and wanted to be a part of it. I loved that their Kingdom Halls and their group outings were always full of different colors of people, a rainbow of ethnicities. This was a stark contrast to the sea of pale white skin I was used to seeing line the pews of my hometown church.

By the time December rolled around, about six months after I’d begun studying the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses, I had come to the conclusion that they were the real deal. This was where the true Christians were. This was the one, true religion. I thought that this had to be where God wanted me. I felt privileged that he had found me worthy enough to show me “the Light.” I felt compelled to show others “the Truth.” I was ready to leave behind the life I knew so well, and embark on the path that I was convinced would lead to my ultimate salvation.

I quit college. Jehovah’s Witnesses are repeatedly discouraged from reaching for higher education. They are instructed to live simple lives and leave as much time as possible available for “theocratic activities.” The time, effort, and money needed to invest in a college degree could be better used to further Jehovah’s Kingdom, I was taught. Since I still didn’t have a major or career goal I was passionate about pursuing, and hated living two hours away from Steven, giving up my college education wasn’t a problem. I moved back home for a few months until I found a full time job as a bank teller and got my own apartment.

I threw away any items in my possession that contained crosses or angels or anything that could be considered an idol. Jehovah’s Witnesses take the Bible’s warning about idols very seriously. They are careful to “flee from idolatry,” as the Bible instructs. Carved images and form of any symbol are included in this, and if you ever visit a Kingdom Hall you will find that there are no crucifixion scenes, no pictures of winged men looking down on the earth, no images of Mary, the mother of Jesus. Occasionally you may find a Kingdom Hall here and there with painted scenes from the Bible but these are not used for worship, to kneel in front of, or to pray to. Furthermore, Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that Jesus was not crucified on a cross, but rather, a stake. Crosses, therefore, have no place in their version of Christian worship. Many of the items in my room and my jewelry box had to find their way to the dumpster.