Joke 1

Winston Churchill

Original post: http://bit.ly/2CFgEw2

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Joke 2

I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

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Joke 3

Mary, despite her good looks and charm, had still never dated any boys at the age of 19. Today she was asking her aunt Martha for advice with boys. "Aunt Martha," she started, "I've just started French kissing Tommy and I need to know where the spit should go. I don't want to dribble on my boyfriend."

"Swallow." Her aunt advised. "This will make you even more popular later on."

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Joke 4

Q: How do you get cool music?
A: Put your CDs in the fridge!

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Joke 5

A physician told this story about her then 4 yr. old daughter.

On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!'

Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"

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Joke 6

Sandy and John were an extremely liberal, though not especially bright, white couple.

Wanting to begin a family, they decided they wanted to have a black baby, and set to work.

Nine months later, the fruits of their labor was born: a lovely white girl.

Pleased but disappointed, John decided to ask a black man at work why they hadn't parented a black baby.

Realizing that John was somewhat sluggish, the fellow took him aside and asked, "Is your wanker at least a foot long?"

John had to admit that it was not. "And is it at least four inches wide?"

Once more John replied in the negative. "Well, man, there's your problem!" the guy slapped him on the back. "You let in too much light!"

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Joke 7

Two rednecks, Earl and Bubba, were driving down the road one day drinking a Bud. Earl looks up and says, "Lookiee up thar, Bubba...I see a real po-leese roadblock..." "Them Pol-eese mans gonna catch us a drinkin."

Bubba says. "No sir-ee they won't either..You do exlaxly like I says. Finish your beer, peel the label off and put the bottle unda your seat. Now, stick the label on your far-head".

Earl does exactly as Bubba says. They pull up to the roadblock and stop with the beer labels sticking to the middle of their heads. Naturally, the first thing the policeman asks is, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No Sir", says Bubba.....We're on the " patch"!!

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Joke 8

Q: What's the difference between a Blues musician and a pizza?
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Antisthenes

Original post: http://bit.ly/2CEmcqK

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Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/03/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-12-mar.html

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