Joke 1

Refuse to be unhappy

Original post: http://bit.ly/2DrdAVG

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Joke 2

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

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Joke 3

After giving Mrs. Pauly a complete physical exam, the doctor arranges to speak privately to Pauly: "I have examined your wife, and I have to be honest with you: I really don't like the way she looks."

"To tell you the truth, doc, I don't like the way she looks either, but, boy, does she have money!"

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Joke 4

Q: Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
A: Because he was out standing in his field!

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Joke 5

The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order, everybody sitting absolutely still.

She was shocked and stunned. "I've never seen anything like this before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why were you so well- behaved and quiet?"

From the back of the room Little Johnny piped up, "One time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you'd drop dead."

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Joke 6

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf & enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy.

Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says,

"I've played so poorly all day, I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."

The caddy looks back at him and says, "I don't think you could keep your head down that long."

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Joke 7

The voluptuous redhead was walking down a dimly lit street when a man jumped out of the bushes. "Give me your money," he demanded.

"I d-don't have any," she managed to reply.

"Give me your money or I'll search you!" he threatened.

She repeated that she didn't have any,then gasped as he made a tentative search.

"You'd better give me your money now," he said menacingly, "or I'm going to rally search you!"

"But I don't have any!" she protested, almost in tears. So he really
searched her.

"I guess you were on the level," he finally muttered angrily. "You don't have any money on you."

"For heaven's sake," she wailed, "don't stop now. I'll write you a check."

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Joke 8

Q: How do we know the Cinderella story was written by a woman?
A: Because if it was written by a guy, the prince woulda banged her till 12 and then she would have turned into a pizza.

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Sometimes you win sometimes you learn

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/592

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Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2018/01/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-26-jan.html

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