Journal From a Submariner I

DATE 02SEP10, TIME 0715
I have not gone to sleep since I wrote the first entry, and looking at my sleep log, it has almost been 12 hours. All through the night while you were probably asleep I was awake, driving a billion dollar submarine off the coast of some country X. It was just another mid watch, except for the fact, I couldn’t stop thinking of what I was going to write in my journal next.
When I looked at my tattoos in the slight red glow of all the lights in control (rig for black) I thought of how I still hadn’t seen yours. Well at least not really, and if your tattoos were something I missed, what else have I missed? What else am I going to miss?
Fuck I hate being on a submarine. I am not going to ever go on another west Pac.
I can’t wait to see how much you have changed, and how much we are going to grow now that we are both working, and you have a sense of accomplishment with your new job & graduating school soon.
I know you are going to do great things in your life, and I can’t wait for us to help each other through our struggles.
I almost forgot to write today’s entry, so caught up in thinking about it. I was in the shower when I remembered I hadn’t written it. I had to come back down to the LAN room in boxers, my SD sweatshirt, and my brown flip-flops to write this. While I was in the shower I realized the weird shit I think when I’m down here.
When I was in there I was thinking about living back in SD, having quads or a dirt bike or a small dune buggy. Going to the desert; just you and I spending a weekend out there. Man I can’t wait to get back to SD where you can do shit on a whim…six flags.
I must say that day we went so long ago, was one of my most awkward dates, I didn’t know how to handle you at that point because I didn’t know how our relationship was going to be.
Remember stopping on the way home in that park and “sleeping” I really just wanted to climb in the back and cuddle with you. I was too afraid to make my move at that point. I’m glad you and I have stuck it through for so long, and I am so fucking proud, to call you my wife. Love you, forever and always, love babe.