Life has taught me a valuable lesson today.
I was wondering where this was going but today it became clear.
So a few years ago I got the book the moon and you from barabra hannalore. I took her class, and it was kind of nice to find something that was a bit alternative to the mainstream. to be able to connect with other ladies over something that you know... everyone with a uterus goes through. It made sense but my cycles were just...
I hav no words. They were painful, they were heavy, they were long. I'd rather shoot myself than do that again. I said it before I even had a baby that they were worse than giving birth.
Having given birth twice now I'd still choose giving birth than going through that shit again. So i found it hard to honour and love something I had no connection with other than my just wanting to rip my own uterus out at any cost because I was so fucking done lying in bed writhing legit wanting to go to the hospital because I honest to fuck thought i was dying.
That is actually one of the ways I started into herbalism - I lost my cycle for 8 months with no explanation. Doctors went through a bunch of tests but couldnt even offer even an ounce of help other than you have pcos. So i tried vitex for a week. Boom, 1 week later a cycle. I also stopped using tampons and switched to non conventional pads, or home made ones. This really helped the cramps. Like, day and night difference.
Anyway, a year ago I started paying attention to fertility cycles using things like discharge changes, cervix changes etc. I now know how to use natural family planning and prevent pregnancy or get pregnant.
A couple weeks ago I had an interview with barbara on my show against the grain.
Revisiting the topic of inner rhythms and loving yourself - the self care aspect.
So I broke out the book again and started paying attention to more than what was just happening down south.
At that time I as in the growth period of the cycle. Feeling great, productive, happy go lucky.
Then it switched, and it switched fast. Over a couple of days I just went from do all the things to fuck everything. As the days went on I just wanted to melt into the floor I was so exhausted and done with everyone. 0 patience, low empathy. I just wanted to be by myself and do my needlework, watch my tv.
Yesterday I was feeling pretty damned crampy. I was positive yesterday was going to be the day for them wonderful lady diapers. This morning, HELLO!
I just feel. Bleh right now. Exhausted. Irritated. No patience.
But, this is normal. It's a time of self reflection and self care.
What sucks is society doesn't see it this way.
What's most interesting though is it confirmed something i've been thinking about lately.
Yesterday was a new moon. Today is the 13th - a day to honour women, the moon and their cycle through the seasons.
It is no coincidence that I paid attention to my intuition and listened to my body in all aspects rather than just pushing it to the side like usual, like I always have to be more analytical like I always strive to be and just followed along with the irritating symptoms, and everything just happened to line up together.
This is pretty neat. I'm not gonna lie.
It's amazing what you can learn when you actually stop and listen to yourself other than just hear yourself speak.
Our bodies are amazing, they tell us so much. It's a damned shame intuition is something so shit on especially in this society.
You can check ou Barbara's Women's Way Moon Cycle website HERE.
Against The Grain Interview with Barbara HERE.