The double-edged Discord sword

in life •  7 years ago 

An ex internet chatroom addict shares his history and thoughts on chatroom's in relation to Steemit.

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In September 1997, I started university as a starry-eyed naive teenager. From a small town in northern England with lots of sheep and local pubs, I moved to a city in the midlands which housed 2 universities, totaling in term time, around 50000 18-21 year olds.

First I became friends with my new housemates, then next door, then next door but one, and soon, I knew most of the faces and names of the 60 or so people on our street. Staying up late and drinking (and eating!) a bit too much became all too common, but this was OK as it was 'socialising', and all the cool kids were doing it.

It's safe to say that learning was not a priority of the first couple of terms, turning up to class with a mad hangover, pretty pointless. Anyway, as well as making a bunch of new friends in 'real life', the new to me, speedy internet connections at the University allowed for the 'sharing' of files, and for me was my introductory setting to the sharing of myself - to total randoms online.


A/S/L?

19/M/UK (or 39/M/Mallorca, Spain) as it is now.

Yahoo chat, IRC, ICQ, AOL chat, we're the first applications I became familiar with. First you started off in a 'room', and then perhaps found someone who shared similar 'interests', and would speak to them 1-1.

Communicating across the planet to a total strangers appealed to me a lot, the 5 second intro, lack of awkward silences, immediate ability to cut to a topic of interest, just seemed to save so much time. Or did it?

Hours would pass, typing away into a box, I should have been at the gym, socialising at the house, or doing some assignment work at the very least!

It's fair to say I was addicted to internet chat for periods of my time at University, and perhaps my grades would have been better had it not existed. In the final year, I did get down to work and get a decent mark, but the 100's of hours spent chatting about nothing much - fun, but what was gained? I'm unsure.


The rise of the video chat

In early 2004, graduated, traveled and with a decent job sorted to start my days in employment, the evenings were free from hassle and I had time to spare. A then friend introduced me to a video chat site - and that was it. For some reading this story, the following is likely to freak you out, but there are hopefully a few of you who can relate...

Imagine, entering a chatroom where every member (200 people was not uncommon) has a video camera. Every member can key up the mic and talk to the room, and every member can interact privately too. Scale that up to 500 rooms, and at the time, 100,000 user online at any given moment.

Interaction overload. Total addiction to peering into peoples lives, and hearing what they had to say - about anything and everything. The rooms were moderated to some extent, age restrictions the main one - that was almost a full time job when the room got busy, and some nights that is pretty much all I would do. Meet, greet, and Ban.

Drink, drugs, self-harm, tits, dicks, suicides, (really, but I wasn't online at the time), and for sure some of the most PMSL times I've ever had sat on a chair at home, 'alone'.

I spent the best part of a decade on that application. Met over a hundred users in real life at meet-ups, spent time in relationships with some members, and watched peoples lives change slowly, or in some cases, overnight.

It was good, bad, ugly, and hilarious to the point of tears, and reality TV had, and still has absolutely nothing on it. 'Interactive reality TV', I was addicted to the core.

A few years back, my real life finally took priority again and I'm happy to say I've broken away from this place. My Facebook feed is still full of these people, but I don't check that often at all anyway.


#welcometosteemit - a new addiction

So in August 2016, I signed up here. And a month later, I got a job at the UN and mostly forgot about this rather confusing place until around a year ago, when my twitter feed again started to fill up with '#crypto'.

Back then, with just an old phone, I began writing posts to nobody, as is often the case starting out. And it was steem.chat and the PAL network, that were the first places I noticed offering 'real time' interaction - my first thoughts were something like, 'I'm not getting into that again'.

Having only the phone helped, the steem.chat website and Discord ran like crap, and so I'd rarely go see if I could make sense of them, and there would be even less chance that I'd interact.

As last year progressed though, new communities presented themselves on our Blockchain and offered links to Discord or rooms on steem.chat, and I found myself adding Servers (to Discord), almost on a weekly basis.

Currently, (and I've deleted more than 5 in recent months) I see 31 Discord servers on the left side of the screen. Clicking on one of those gives me a list of 30 'rooms'.

It is just too much! That's something like 600 rooms, arrrghhh!

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I know there is a reason I added each of these servers, and I know there is value to be had. But where? Where is the action happening right now? Where can I find the info to positively impact my Steeming?


I'm everywhere and nowhere

To get a handle on the servers and rooms where the key discussions are taking place, requires time. To get to know the members of these communities takes even more time, energy, and focus.

I struggle with all of those for sure. I want to know what's going on and find and be a part of the most interesting discussions, but it just feels like hunting for the proverbial needle in the haystack at times.

Bashing internet chat and Discord communities is not the remit for this blog, and I'm sure if you pick a niche community, jump in with both feet, there is value there for sure. Organizing events and the discussion of key topics certainly works better off-chain (as I found out recently).

In addition to that, friendships, an improved quality of content via help and guidance, and a few laughs are definitely there to be had, but I think that some personal restraint needs to be there so to not fall into the chats and never make it back out, for the reason you presumably signed up on Steemit.com - To produce or curate content on the Steem Blockchain.

I guess my message can be summed up with something like this. From personal experience I know how much internet chat can steal of your time, and sleep, and I advise precaution before stepping in to 'the deep end'.

Choose your servers wisely, and find a couple of communities that work for you. I'm Looking forward to reading your content, 'here'!

And for a contradictory ending to this blog, I am on Discord under the same username abh12345#9343 - mostly hiding in direct messages.

If you do wish to contact me, I like questions, information, being tagged where appropriate, and even links to awesome content - much more than 'Hi', or A/S/L :)


Thanks for your time, and have a wonderful day!

Asher @abh12345

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Discord is wonderful, and I am not sure steemit would work that well without it. But it is very time consuming.

I got up to about 30 Discord servers - but never had time to visit most of them.

I now keep it down to about 10 that I have some chance of interacting with on some sort of useful regularity.

Direct Messaging for me though is by far the most useful part of Discord.

I got up to about 30 Discord servers - but never had time to visit most of them.

Yeah that is the case here too, it's a time thing mostly and find direct messages are more productive for me too.

I'm on your show this week though! Would you care to drop a link?

Oh! What a journey @abh12345

I must say that this sentence actually made me laugh!😄

'I'm not getting into that again'.

Great way to deliver a very important message! I particularly love how you worded this:

but I think that some personal restraint needs to be there so to not fall into the chats and never make it back out, for the reason you presumably signed up on Steemit.com - To produce or curate content on the Steem Blockchain.

Take good care of yourself. I wish you all the best always :)

Hi @abigail-dantes

Thanks for stopping by and having a read 😊

I had spoken about my chat addiction with you previously, and this is a little more insight (but really only the surface!) into this world I lived in.

I do think there is value within, and more real-time conversations are worlds better than what we have here. But yes, as in the paragraph you pulled, there's more to Steem/Steemit than being a discord 'Greeter'.

Thanks again, have a lovely day 😁

Hello, good to see you here :)

😘

I think video chat is pretty cool but it seems like it is not very popular. :(

This site has over a million accounts in 2005, and 8 million by 2008. That level of growth here would do nicely!

You're talking about discord?
Do you use @dustsweeper?

no, the video chat room I mentioned in the post.

Yes I am registered for the sweeper!

I so know the feeling oh having more and more discord channels and groups that It gets hard to spread your efforst and time.

Right now I am mostly active in the Promo-mentors which I see you have over 300+ messages that you have not opened :P I know I know you are a busy man especially with being a witness hahahhahaha

I am mostly active in communities that resonate with me or that I want to do something for them not what they can do for me.
I mostly like hanging out and just talking shop or joining them in discussions about that state of Steem,

I love going to witness chats and discussions because we need to be an informed public. Btw are you going to the Steemit ramble witness discussion on the 19th?

300? Oops!

I am mostly active in communities that resonate with me or that I want to do something for them not what they can do for me.
I mostly like hanging out and just talking shop or joining them in discussions about that state of Steem,

Fair points, I just don't know where to focus - there seems a lot of duplication with regards to this subject?

I have stuck the date/time now my calendar for the Ramble, but will be out cycling and not sure if I'll be home, for once!

hahahhaha its ok Asher! it will be great to hear you with the rest of the witnesses.

I will try to be there and would enjoy 'meeting' a few more Witnesses and sharing views.

I am glad I was able to avoid the video chat rooms. Until now I didn't know of their existence!
To things you wrote above, we can probably all relate to that. Maybe not reflecting it to social media but for instance to video games. I am afraid to count the hours that I did spend on Football Manager :). It felt great back them, but if I now look back it seems as a complete loss of time!
But other were just loosing time watching tele and so on!
Thx for the insight!

It is a whole new world, and might be a winner if it could be tokenised?!

Well done for avoiding it thus far, and congratulations for being a CM fan - the time I've spent gaming (prior to Uni mostly) probably surpasses my time in chatrooms - yikes!

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

It's probably a good thing I didn't have Internet at uni. There was a chat thing on their systems, but I had to go to a room full of terminals to use that.

I'm not too into discord as it can just eat time. I find all the channels confusing anyway.

Yeah it's safe to say it did t benefit my education, or social life really!

Discord feels like a huge place, and from what I gather from the 'natives', certainly eats time. I suppose it depends on how much value you receive.

Glad I'm not the only one!

As an introvert you just described what I would consider a nightmare. I try and stay away from such crowded places. One of the reason I’m in very few discords and even more so why I leave ones I don’t have a use for. Never been a fan of the fast moving crowed places. I always find a couple of nice discords to hang out in for a little while. Then they become successful and it’s time to move on. Hard to have the conversions I enjoy when the chat has changed topics several times by time I get my thoughts out.

I have a couple of discords that I keep around just because of the information that can happen inside them. I very rarely check in on them and I’ve even disabled mentions and other means to get my attention from those. I just rather not think about them unless I want check in on what is going on in that community. In those places I’m more or less just a ghost aka the lurker.

I’ve noticed a few people they are in very single discord there is. They are as many communities as they can find sometimes. Yet it’s hard to find where they are present in. There are a lot of benefits to this approach many of them get a few decent votes every time they post something. That is just not my kind of style. I somewhat enjoy the quite side of steemit :)

Well now. I've learned a lot more about you today Asher!! Glad to see you've managed a little control over things now too :)

I have never been interested in chat rooms, although the rest of your university first few years sound awfully similar to mine! Even here, I have plenty of servers on Discord, but only 3 that I actually involve myself in, and of those three, I rarely go in just to chat. I'd much rather do that "out here". I have familiarized myself with several people in each, and they have become my anchors in said groups. But truthfully, I feel like I never have enough time to do all that I want to do on steemit, so I feel as though I'm 'wasting' that time if I use it on Discord. And "wasting" isn't quite the right word, because I do value the relationships that get developed on Discord and then they carry over into steemit too. I guess I use Discord as another tool in developing my steemit community. That sounds way better, doesn't it? :)

..another tool in developing my Steemit community.

Yes that's much better! One of the many tools, and I think the point is (as could be said for here), it's hard work using the wrong tool for a job.

Striking a balance and finding the right places - a tough ask!

I almost erased half of that and just left the sentence you picked out...but it was the process I went through to understand myself how I felt about Discord :)

Finding balance...that's key to most things in life, isn't it? University undergrads aren't too interested in "striking balance" I think, but now...with age comes wisdom, I guess :)

With age comes responsibility too - that helped tear me away from the screen... until Steemit :/

haha now it's acceptable because supposedly we are all adults here :)

Hahaha, such an interesting story, I was hooked from the title.

Too much chatting gets my head full.

I can totally relate with what you went through but i wouldn't say I was addicted. I got my first smart phone after university so my academics didn't suffer.

I am not used to discord. I prefer telegram or whatsapp. Lol

It's easier.

Whatsapp is a bit more 1-1 I guess, or a small group?

Discord feels like a monster and seems super tough to hone in on the key goings on.

Cheers!

There are groups on whatsapp as well. 😊

It can't be compared to discord though

lol! I like reading forums sometimes too and just lurking :P Totally lurked on steemit for a bit before actually signing up.

Lurking is fine, and having a good look around here before diving in sounds very sensible!

I had a much more similar experience (still have a bit of it) especially when I add those from Whatsapp, Facebook and telegram groups. So, I did like you mentioned above. I withdrew from most of them. I left all Facebook group and only a few discord and telegram groups. I muted notification from the remaining groups, so I don't get called up when someone drops a message. Muting notification will help a lot in physically restraining yourself from jumping into conversations when you are supposed to do something else.

Yeah suppressing notifications is essential for concentration! But then you might miss something good? 😁

😁😁 I think the problem started with the feeling that you are missing something. So, one way or other something has to be sacrificed.

Anddd, discord dilemma sets in again!

Such a strange journey this life & all it's twists & turns. I am such a noobie to the chat world online. It took me a bit to desypher a/s/l and a few other terms you put down! It's fun to understand your background. And, to get to know you better Asher! Your presence is a delightful part to my weeks here on Steem. I appreciate your contributions! It's a pleasure to steem with you!

Well that's very kind of you to say so Jill!

I perhaps don't share enough of 'me' at present, but that could change at any moment. Thank you!

Sounds like you have quite a few adventurous tales to share if you wanted to!! It's always a unique experience to learn a little something about the people behind the usernames on the screen. You've so much experience with it!

"job at the UN " WoW , I didn't know that anyone worked at that place . I thought it was a place where people just chatted in person and having a good time :)

As far as the whole internet thing goes , I missed the boat . It's funny because I spent the 80's working on my degree in computer science . We would communicate but only had 21 charters . so you had to make your point within the limited space available . Now here I am trying to figure this whole blogging thing out with basically unlimited communication access .
Fun stuff

Yeah that's pretty much the deal there to be honest!

Where did you go inbetween? Life? Ahh, fair!

20 yrs in the military . so all the social interaction , one could say they weren't to social :) spent the last couple years recovering and now here I am . not only do I have to learn all of this on/about Steemit but the social aspect of it also . It's a challenge one that I accept and will conquer . The great people I have meet here are unbelievable .

I found Discord to be extremely confusing. I was a IRC addict from 1999 - 2005 when I was very sick, so I am not unfamiliar with chat rooms. But I could not make heads or tails of Discord, and didn't often get replies to queries, or they came long after I was gone.

It seems, to do well on Steemit, you need to be doing something on Discord also, but for the life of me, I can't figure out where or how.

So I just muddle along on Steemit, trying to post each day, and commenting when I can.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

It's a tricky one, lots of servers to become acquainted with.

I wouldn't say discord is a necessity to 'do well' on Steemit, although I'd like to hear some more views from people who have found discord to be the route to success here.

Internet has made alot easy for us but it also taken abit of our life away. Our ability to physically relate with people is going down the drain. Sometimes when you hang out with friends, must of them are still glued to their phones chatting like i am right now. Lol

I have left most of my servers, because I was spending too much time on them, and the interactions didn't feel particularly close, unless I was having a private chat with someone.

Frankly I feel like comments on Steemit are a much better way to interact.

Oh and you don't get paid in the Discord! ;)

ha! I was waiting for someone to state this point!

And I'm also waiting for a core 'Discorder' to come state their opinions, I'm sure there are some positive stories to tell.

I'm much the same as you, but I do use it daily for 1-1 chats. Cheers!

It is so easy to fall into the deep end of the chat pool. I try very hard not to fall into that pit. But Steemit itself can be dangerous too. Not in the same way as FB, Youtube or Twitter (just ask as certain president how long he can stay off, LOL). For a time I was spending way too much time on Steemit. I probably still do spend more time than I should, but as time goes on I may not have a choice of whether or not I can be on the internet even. Things in this country have gotten much worse and Sunday brought a taste of the government flexing its muscle. They cut internet services for 24 hours. Obviously, we have it back now but FB and Youtube are going to be blocked. When you make the conscious choice it is one thing, but when it is taken away, that is quite another.

That sounds crazy! I hope you are able to keep your connect running, no internet would be a huge blow.

One of many...

Interesting tale of your journey through the Interwebz! It's very easy to let it all get out of hand. On the other hand having "a moment" can also be a good invitation to just sit back and figure out where our true priorities lie.

The thing with the online environment is that it is SO easy to convert "looks interesting" into being a "participant," at least in name. And then your friend has a project and starts a Discord and then you join that "for the connection's sake" and next thing you know, you're on 31 servers.

If there's a "problem" with the online environment, it's perhaps that we tend to talk about a lot of things. I remember an elderly gentleman who once asked "So do you want to HAVE a business? Or just endlessly TALK about having a business?"

You have a witness now, so visibility does matter. But only to the point that you USE that visibility for something...

=^..^=

Yeah the visibility is important for a witness, in working myself up to a vlog as it seems a more efficient use of time thank to float around discord. We shall see...

wait till the community features are available on steemit - along with real time chat. You have been disciplined to make sure you don't fall into discord, but your gonna have a problem when these changes happen :-)

Not unless I can see people, face to face banter is way better!

Tomorrow at 8pm your time - see @pennsif's comment, I'm on his show 😁

First of all, let me just say, TMI. Okay. TMI. :)

Second of all, if this wasn't meant to put me off getting involved on Discord or wherever, mission NOT accomplished. :) (That might be too many double negatives.)

Actually, I have to admire you for walking everyone through that part of your life. Addictions (or whatever you we're calling it) of any kind or degree is hard to admit let alone discuss, so good on ya for that.

I feel, though, that the more that goes on off platform, the less we make Steemit Inc work. Or better said, the more we let them off the hook. The more people come up with their own workarounds, the less Steemit, the app, is useful.

If the meaningful relationships and commentary is taking place offsite, then Steemit becomes less about community and engagement and more about trying to make a buck, just like the cynics say.

There's simply no reason why Steemit couldn't have embedded live chat. There's no reason why there couldn't be statistical information. The only reason there's not is because it's not a priority, and there's no reason to make it one.

End. Of. Rant. :)

I feel, though, that the more that goes on off platform, the less we make Steemit Inc work.

I agree with you here for the most part.

Integrating chat could be interesting. Including video and the ability to reward, very interested in that!

What an interesting read @abh12345.

I have the opposite experience with chat rooms. I don't like them at all and almost resent having to do anything at all in them.

My preferred method of communication is on the posts. If I want to speak to someone briefly I sometimes do 1:1 on Discord.

If I want a longer discussion I will ask them to meet me on Zoom. In fact someone asked me in Discord this morning if I'd be interested in being a curator for a project and my first response was "can we talk "face to face" about it on Zoom" about it. 😁

I can understand your displeasure for sure - they are certainly not for everyone.

1-1, or a small group works best for me too - unless there is audio and it's well managed.

Zoom! Never heard of it but presume it's a free video conferencing type thing?

Yes. Zoom is a bit like Skype but it's free and you can share screens and record video calls 1:1 or in groups. 😁

I've played with similar, and used Lync by MS in employment - useful!

on the one hand the internet is very good for the continuity of interacting with people far from our lives, but the internet can also leverage the interaction directly with the people we care about.

I appreciate the insights given. I've been encouraged to jump into the Chats but so far have not. On your advice I will be selective if I do. Blessings.

We live in an age where almost everyone is an infovore; there is just too much information floating around in the cyberspace. I'm on 34 servers on discord chat, but I seem to only "function" in like two :)

2 - I wish there were just 2!

Interesting view of your personal life Asher, this is me looking through your blog for the cycling posts you referred to and came across some other stuff that I've been reading too :)

10 years of it huh? I've never been addicted in that manner, but I do have the same caution towards Discord that you suggest. Wonder if it was SHU you went to. I had an Indian friend studying there in the mid-late 90s and visited fairly often.

Pls don't feel obliged to respond btw, this is in a dormant corner of Steemit, and, as your latest post shows, you've already typed out 9423 responses this year (50 per day lol). I'm actually quite glad of slow 'growth' for me in the Steemniverse, don't know how I'd cope with 100s of comments and certainly don't feel ready for it!

Cheers :D
🚣

I'm always happy to see a comment on an older post 😊

This was an over-share in places, but the truth, and not all of either.

The sad part is that I've added around 10 more servers since this post, and well, it's just frustrating overall.

That is a reasonable comment count and char count, slightly squeued by my tablular replies, but they still take a few minutes to conjure up.

Thanks for delving into the depths, I plan to link 'life' posts as a group in the post that is linked in my profile - when the feature discussed is ready.

Hmm, reminds me that when I read your post about the upcoming code-change to allow unlimited editing, with the idea of yours to create a permanently updated document (on Steemcommunity maybe?) - it gave me the idea for a Blog-map, a Steemit post which I'd arrange as a link-library of my blog posts, and be able to update as the blog content increases. Great for sending to people who aren't on steemit, and for people wishing to explore the blog without having to scroll for ages :).

I saw this post which I imagine you must already have seen (perhaps you even Resteemed it lol), where timcliff explains that steemit will enable this feature once enough witnesses have updated to 19.10.

LOL at the server side of things - life eh :)

Yes that's the post I have linked on my profile, and wish to use it for the points you raise.

I guess we should look at updating our server then! - the initial release of 19.10 had issues so we have held back. I'd like to see the feature live asap though!

Ah yes, I get the full picture now - linked to as a profile permalink, superb! Also timcliff has implemented this already and opened it up - folk commenting say it's working for them!

discord is a little chaotic for my taste... maybe i need more structure and visuals

'Chaotic' could be a good word, unless you take it one server at a time.

I wish there were more chats here. Like I'd like to chat about all sorts of stuff and hear opinions here.

There are lots of chats! try steem.chat, or search a tag of interest or #discord for links.

right but I'd like it all in one place--

Amazing👏

Thank you very much for your important information. We learned many things from you today and hope to learn a lot more in the future. I always try to follow all of your things that you have a lot to do. Thanks for posting about your important steemit

the addiction just keep getting better and better with time ;p

The discord does not support us like the other.

The discord are very useful for ateemian all over the word...

i believe everyone has a story before aged.
Your story is quiet like an adventure. You were going through many way in internet and got experienced. it gives a great pleasure to share own story when you are success in your present position., feels different. other people do get an inspiration too. We are also collecting succeed people story and ours own to describe it later :)