Minimalism vs. Consumerism | Depth vs. Shallowness | Simplicity vs. Materialism

I'll warn you in advance - this is one tired mama's ramblings about the way of the world.

I am blessed enough to love my job. I love the work that I do, I love the pay, and I love my co-workers. I work with people from all over the world, all different backgrounds, and all different beliefs. But a conversation we had one day over lunch has really suck with me. There are three girls that I work with that are all lovely people, but very VERY different from me.

My husband and I aren't quite minimalists, but if we don't use something regularly, or it doesn't bring us joy, we don't hold onto it. The baby has very few toys. And we're working to reduce our possessions even more. We are, however, very frugal. We were both raised by single mothers and tend to not spend money on anything but necessities, or very carefully chosen indulgences. This lifestyle means we live well below our means and will be able to retire before 40.

This is not meant to be a bashing post. I truly adore all three of these women. I simply want to observe lifestyle choices and reflect on the bigger issues facing America as a result of, I believe, these lifestyle choices.

These three other girls, while I don't pretend to intimately know their finances, share common characteristics. They're concerned with outward appearances. They do their hair and makeup daily. They get manicures and pedicures. They all have new cars and watches and purses. I, certainly, do none of these things. I often don't brush my hair at all, my nails are short and unpainted, and my car was free. As a result, none of them have anything in savings.

When it comes to their friendships. They are all friends with each other (more so than they are with me), yet they talk about each other behind their backs. (I'm assuming they do the same with me, but I simply don't care). Two of them, I know, have cheated on their husbands.

It seems to me that their spending habits (ie. constantly needing the "new") somehow parallel their relationships. Their material viewpoint is that of wanting the latest, the next, the shinier, the better...it's all very shallow and surface-focused. They don't seem to appreciate or understand the VALUE of the item they're purchasing. I feel the same could be said for their relationships. They focus on the surface-stuff, not understanding the value of the friendship or the person in front of them.

I don't judge them - I don't know their background, or how they were raised, or the circumstances that helped shape them this way. And truly, it takes all different kinds of people to make the world go 'round. But I feel like their mindset, or their value-base, is symptomatic of a greater shift that's happening all across the US. Maybe just to my area, but I feel like the entire country is affected.

There's this general cultural shift that's happening that focuses only on the surface. People think they're more important than their neighbor. Everyone wants everything right away. They want fast food, fast cars, fast women (isn't that a country song?). Social media only shows us the surface image of what people want to project. I feel like there is a real lack of depth in everyday life right now. We're herded along by the media, by advertisements, by social media to work harder, buy the next big thing, lose the next 10 lbs.

What happened to those life-long friendships? Listening to Grandpa talk about the war, or the days on the farm? What happened to taking Sunday drives? To eating home cooked meals? We're constantly on the go, but where do we end up at the end of the day? Exhausted...and without having accomplished anything of much value. Fast food doesn't feed the soul. Social media doesn't truly connect us with anyone. That new purse doesn't do you any good once it's been discarded for the next new purse.

I would like to think, however, that everything is cyclical. Trends, fashion, economies and even wars tend to run on a 20-30 year cycle. The 1990's showed us a time of more money that people knew what to do with - greed with scandals like Enron - the shipping of jobs overseas. Which means now - approaching the 2020's - should bring with it a migration back to things of substance. I like to think that the new popularity of minimalism, of all of those Alaskan and homesteading TV shows, and the millennials' rejection of traditional work places and importance of experiences over things mean we're heading in the right direction. But I guess only time will tell.