Everyone makes mistakes. Maybe you slipped up once and repeatedly since then you've said sorry, bought a lottery ticket, committed a felony, or broken the law. Maybe you caused more harm than good to someone else by your words or actions. No matter what happened, recognizing and acknowledging your mistakes offers an opportunity for new, meaningful change, vital personal growth, and improved emotional health. Self-forgiveness can help repair the damage you've done and can be a foundation for moving forward.
Forgiving Others If you take the time to practice self-forgiveness, you'll come to realize that forgiveness is a vital part of building healthy relationships. Those closest to you have likely made errors in judgement, actions, speech, thought, or choice. Learning to forgive others will make you a better partner, friend, or family member, because you'll be free from the judgment you imposed on another.
When we take the time to practice self-forgiveness, taking full responsibility for our own actions, we gain a sense of control over the situation. It's not about pointing fingers at those responsible for our mistakes, but rather recognizing that we ourselves are in charge. The self-forgiveness process also empowers us to begin to take responsibility for correcting the behavior of others. That doesn't mean we don't have to take action ourselves. We do!
Learning to forgive Others When you learn to be self-forgiving, you'll no longer be quick to point out the things that others did that you personally didn't like. You may be quick to criticize but not to apologize for your own missteps. When you're more forgiving, you won't be afraid to forgive and ask for forgiveness from others. Instead of being too stubborn about others, you will feel compelled to show them a lot of gratitude.
Your Trustworthiness and Your Worth As we move into the twenty-first century, it's important to recognize yourself as having value. You may have been taught to rely on others more than you have to trust yourself. Self-forgiveness is a great way to rebuild your self-esteem. If you learned to forgive, and really feel you are worthy of love, you'll find that you're more trustworthy and worthy of kindness. In fact, if you show others you're a great person, they'll be kinder to you, too. Forgiving someone else is a great way to start rebuilding your self-worth.
The Power of Affirmations One of the things that can help you tremendously when it comes to self-forgiveness is to focus on the quality of your thoughts. Many people talk negatively about a mistake, or something wrong with themselves, using phrases like "I'm a horrible person," "I'm a burden," "I'm stupid," or even "I'm wrong." Instead of believing these phrases, focus on statements like "I am beautiful," "I am loving," "I am kind," or "I am a joyful person." By repeating these affirmations to yourself, you can replace the negative words with positive words that mean more than the words themselves.
Taking Responsibility When you are able to feel compassion for yourself and take ownership of all of your bad actions, you'll find it easier to forgive. If you do not take ownership of your mistakes and allow yourself to feel sorrow over them, you're going to resist forgiving yourself. That's why it's so important to take responsibility for your actions. If you do not take responsibility for them, you are not going to be able to forgive yourself for what you have done. This can be extremely difficult, but it's one of the most important steps towards self-forgiveness.
Forgiving Mistakes There is a saying that goes "forgetting a mistake is half the battle," and that's true in a sense. However, forgiving a mistake is only half the battle because once you forgive yourself for that mistake, you must then take the time to learn from it and use it to move forward. Forgiving your pride and moving on after a mistake is a great way to make sure that you never make the same mistake again.
