It’s only our thinking that gives meaning and makes something "good" or "bad."
I signed up for a Women’s Business Circle with a powerful circle holder in Asheville. The event clearly states that the circle starts at precisely 11 and the doors are closed precisely at 11 at which point the circle is open and no one is to break the container by entering once the door is closed.
Well, I began my day and planned it out and arrived at noon. Something unexplainable happened where if you asked me what time the circle started, I think I would have said 11, but I proceeded to plan my day to show up at noon. I was under some kind of impression that this is when it started. I have no explanation for this. I was cruising there nervous because I was going to arrive at 11:59 and I didn’t want to walk in a second late. But when I arrived at precisely noon, the door was closed. And I was heartbroken, so I decided to open the door. Everyone was already seated so she looked at me and I asked her if I could come in? Then I said, “No?” And she hesitantly said yes. I felt off for the whole circle and felt like an intruder. It wasn't until I actually pulled away from the parking lot that I realized I had shown up AN HOUR late.
Doom descended on me: a rush of shame and embarrassment and awkwardness.
I cannot explain what happened.
Today was supposed to be such a good day. It’s full of so many yummy and rich experiences and meetings. But now it felt like my day was RUINED! How did this happen?!
Boundaries are a big topic of conversation amongst women healers and teachers, and I imagined people must be thinking how entitled I must have thought I was to blatantly disobey the rules and walk in anyway. (An HOUR late!) Brittany the Boundary Breaker.
I knew it was just a mistake. I knew mistakes happen. But that didn’t make a difference. I was sure my day was ruined, and I didn’t know how I would get past this, because the person who I offended I really respect as a fellow teacher/healer. I knew that what happened happened, but that didn’t make me feel any better.
See, the thing is is that it’s SO unexplainable. I was “in my vortex,” which in Law of Attraction teachings means it’s a given that you’re going to be in the right place at the right time. In these teachings, when you’re in Alignment with your Source Energy, you’re everywhere you “should” be at. At the "right" place. And at the "right" time.
I apologized profusely via messenger, and she got back to me promptly. It ended up enriching and deepening our relationship.
AND…
It turns out
The circle was about boundaries.
So I WAS at the right place at the right time. I was playing a role. What I did expanded something for everybody. It’s just my thinking that makes it “wrong” or “uncomfortable.”
It’s just a neutral event.
Just as everything is.
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