In order for an experience to create a life mission and strong sense of purpose, it has to affect you to the core. Though I was only on psychiatric drugs for a few years of my life (and the very lowest “clinical” doses available), they affected me so strongly and took away so much that I could never forget or simply leave that experience behind me.
I share this list, not to torture people who are on them or struggling to get off, reminding them of how much is being taken away (or could be taken away), but rather to validate the desire that many have to not take these substances and to be supported in better ways.
I share this to validate how very necessary it is to create better systems for being with trauma and to facilitate the withdrawal process for those who would like to come off in every way we possibly can.
When I was on a psychiatric drug cocktail at age 21-22, I lost the abilities to do the things on this list with any regularity. Many of these things I could not do at all.
Once I got off of them, slowly and carefully, which was quite tedious and difficult, all of these capacities returned to me.
Reading
Thinking clearly
Communicating my thoughts with others directly
Night vision
20/20 vision during the day
Eating all kinds of foods
Traveling
School and work
Graduating college
Writing
Developing friendships
Developing romantic relationships
Walking more than one block
Aerobic exercise
Weight lifting
Discernment about what to eat and which supplements to take
Being attractive to others
Showering regularly
Brushing my teeth twice a day
Changing my clothes
Dressing nicely
Understanding my own experiences and being able to communicate them
Empathy for others
Intuition
Grasping and formulating complex concepts
Teaching others from my experiences
Yoga
Doing artwork
Dancing
Singing
Computer skills
Awareness of some current events
Appreciation of music
Sexuality
Leaving the house and socializing
Meeting new people
Trying new things
Seeing a future
Caring about people
Caring about principles
Feeling sad
Feeling excited
Feeling calm
Being awake during most of the day.
Researching topics and discerning accurately what is relevant to me
Working for money
Committing to regular activities/classes/meetings
Falling in love
Having creative goals
Learning
Grocery shopping
Detangling my hair
Expressing my feelings
Doing my dishes
Cleaning
Being able to benefit from subtler health treatments like acupuncture, homeopathy and organic herbs
Eating healthy
Loving people
Attracting friends
Engaging socially and feeling (somewhat) “normal”
Caring what’s going on in the world/my city
Caring about other people’s needs and acknowledging them
Being able to talk about my life without using unproven “mental health” pseudoscience jargon
Being able to see fact from fiction
Writing down and finding meaning in my dreams
Smiling for real
Wanting to help others
Caring about my life, health and future
Praying
Believing in God/Higher Power/Angels/Being guided
Having faith in myself and my life
Inspiring trust in others
Inspiring creativity in others
Typing fast
Journaling
Shaving
Wearing deodorant
Regular menstruation
Awareness of moon cycles
Sexual arousal
Normal hair growth
Immunity
Cooking
Staying out of the house all day
May all beings be free to choose, and to choose with true informed consent, which cannot be expected from a doctor or medical care provider, but must be gotten with a combination of research, self study, intuition, personal accounts and fierce, unbiased logical analysis.
We must take back science from under the fist of commercials and indirect advertising.
It's not always so black and white. Monoamine oxidase inhibitors for instance can boost all those capabilities in older people, but in general my experience agrees with yours. For reference I've tried what I feel like is every single psychiatric drug (over 200) with numerous combinations of natural supplements. The fact that I never got it right tells me our understanding of the brain is pretty poor. There's a drug coming out next year (rapastinel) that is the first drug in over a decade to actually do something different. I've got my eye on it.
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Thanks for reading and responding. What do you mean by black and white here? Wow, you've tried over 200!!! Not sure whether to say that's impressive or just WHOA. What would getting it right be?
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