Suicide-Life Lost-Confusion Gained-Love Questioned

Why? How? I Can't Believe This is Happening!!!

Suicide has so many stigmas. Some believe the one who commits it is greedy; leaving their loved ones to deal with the sorrow of their passing and with many open questions. Others may look to wonder how someone who was "so full of life and seemed so happy" could do this and then they may go as far as looking into their life to see if another loved one caused them to snap and commit suicide or if a situation unbeknownst to anyone caused this catastrophe. Ultimately, no one, but the person who felt all hope was lost and THIS was the only way out would truly know for sure.

Flip side to this would be everyone feeling the pain the person was in. Maybe the outsiders could see it coming, the awkwardness of discussing or accusing a person of being suicidal was too much of a social disgrace, they said nothing and did nothing to try and offer help. Society to me, they are torn...should they offer help without no worry or concern for upsetting someone or should they sit idly by and play the "wait and see" game.

Death on Any Level Will Impact Everyone

Thinking of suicide as just one person's greed to walk away from it all and find an out or feeling the compassion for them because of how much they hurt and that pain pushed them to this level, is not all that matters here. Suicide is death. A person who lived among us, had friends, family, coworkers, hobbies, was a community presence or whatever their role was in this world is gone. Nothing will change that. What happens now is that because we are all human, we each must register this into our ongoing life and figure out how it impacts us each differently. Not everyone will just cry and mope around for days and days. Not everyone will just move on and "figure it out". That's the beauty of life. Human nature cannot be predicted or instilled really. The environment around someone is usually (in my opinion) what will trigger the actions and reactions of one. When it comes to suicide, the environment of those who surrounded the lost one, will most likely determine how they will respond to the passing.

Self-Centered Narcissist or Valiant Warrior

I guess my thoughts and understandings as to the crazy spiderweb of suicide and what brings it on is that the person is either a fighter or coward. Please, don't get me wrong here and believe that I am making light of someone who has committed suicide, tried to committ or any person that has had to deal with it directly. Everyone has a breaking point and everyone handles life differently. What some of us deal with; the challenges of life for example, maybe those challenges make us stronger. Others, not so much. They crash down like a burning sequoia, unable to take the stress and pressure. Some believe that when their friend or family die by suicide that they must have had some kind of demons in them, growing bigger and bigger day by day and finally the monsters and voices inside won the war and forced them to take their own life

I've also heard that some feel this person fought for as long as they could and finally could not bring themselves to fight anymore. They finally gave in to the crippling despair. They lived for so long, apparently hurting for many reasons, and decided to hell with this life, they will take their chances in the next world. I hear that and I think to myself what does one feel in order to be pushed to make that decision? How bad did they have to be feeling, how much hurt to take their own life, walk away from family and friends and all they knew in this world? For me, I too look at suicide like it's a two way street.

The End Result is the Same-Someone is Gone Forever-So Now What!?!

My final thoughts on this is that I too have dealt with suicide. Long story short, many of us witnessed a loved one pull the trigger and end their life...right in front of our own eyes. 10000 different thoughts cross your mind when you see that occurr. A million more after hearing the gunshot and smelling the powder. When you hear their last words of, "I love you" and then BANG and they are gone, never to be heard from again. To this day, each person there, handles and talks about this life changing even differently. Some never speak of it, some still drink down a bottle of their favorite poison damn near daily and others simply move on and I guess, "learn from it".

I choose to accept the fact that I did lose someone, that each person is their own. If they want to committ suicide and that's the only way out, that's their choice. If they choose not to ask for help, I can't control that. As long as I was there to offer help, advise them that I am willing to talk to them, then maybe, just maybe I did what I could for them. I know some people will think differently...but there again, that is what makes us all human; we all have our own beliefs and maybe together, combined, we will all figure out the best way to ensure this never happens again.

Love everyone, live life to the fullest and never put down someone on how they choose to live or not live their life. Everyone is free to make their own decisions. But it is our gift to them as a friend or loved one to help make those we care about make the best decisions in life and know that no matter what, we are there for them, ALWAYS.