Tinnitus haunts me night and day which is why I love white noises but hate noisy places

Tinnitus is like a loud noise which bothers your days and nights.

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Maybe I am one of those people that can get crazy if put in a very silent room because of the constant ringing of my ear. It feels like my brain is being lasered nonstop and my only rest will either be sleeping or death. I also regret about living with this condition due to the fact that my hearing is bad already. That is why I missed my younger physical body for the reason that my sense of hearing is much more sensitive and without problems. The constant white noise emanating from my electric fans does help to cancel-out some of the constant ringing of my ear but now it is becoming more worse than ever due to the wear and tear of passing years and maybe because of my situation of being a dialysis patient.

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White noise coming from the fan offers some relief but Tinnitus is still leaving me uncomfortable as if I want to die to escape it.

I can come-up with few reasons why I am having this terrible ear condition and I can attribute it to some of the things going around my health. The inner ear comprises of this bone, the smallest bone in our bodies. I do not know what it is called nor bothered to look it up in Google but you know my point is getting. The fact that I have a bone issue with my body as a complication of suffering the effects of long-term high phosphorus levels and created a condition secondary hyperparathyroidism, it had made my bones weaker and bad enough to change my posture and my facial bone structure due to Leontiasis caused by an over-working parathyroid. I am contemplating about that smallest bone in the bone that happened to be a part of hearing and there is a big chance that changes in its structure had cause this Tinnitus condition in my inner ear health. I have no plans to consult an ear doctor about it because I also have more important things to solve in the background. So if that bone in the ear had gone crooked as well, I just cannot do something about it because even if there is a solution, I do not have the will to make a budget for it and so, I will remain suffering from Tinnitus maybe until I lost hearing altogether and I hope that God would not permit it to happen it will just be too much to bear.

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I am not surprised in the bones in my inner ear had been affected of what my backbone and facial bones had suffered (along with my general bones) and if it is the case, there is not much that I can do but to continue with my effort to at least slow down the process of maybe an inevitable hearing loss.

I also had this dilemma about managing my body's fluid balance where I needed to reduce my body's fluid overload so that I can breathe better because my lungs gets saturated with fluids easily now so I have no choice but to target the weight near my dry weight. So because of that I think it creates Tinnitus and it was what I was thinking before. But this one reason is about seemingly dehydrating fluids in my inner ears in the process might not be it otherwise I will suffer from severe Vertigo issues. That is why if I had a fluid imbalance to my inner ear in particular, then I would suffer from extreme vertigo. The only vertigo that I experienced was when I was taking Cinacalcet which for my case it made some side-effects like the bad vertigo condition which I thought was just normal but it was not when I later sensed that my Cinacalcet use was causing it, one reason that I stopped for using Cinacalcet in treating or dealing with my secondary Hyperparathyroidism/ Leontiasis Ossea condition. So this tinnitus is really a big problem that I seem to cannot resolve myself and I most probably let it runs its course until I cannot take it anymore to cause to seek help about it.

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Tinnitus is one of the health issues that I was enduring for a very long time now, it didn't fade-away nor resolved itself out. Seeking a lasting solution for it is on least of my priorities for the time being until maybe one day I will be gifted a solution to finally at least reduce it if not completely healed from it and so I will just have to let it go because I have no more power over it.