Maybe the "Good Old Days" are Still Ahead!

Sometimes I feel pretty convinced that I lack the "sentimentality gene" that compels otherwise perfectly sensitible people to don rose colored glasses and contemplate "The Good Old Days" of high school and college. Aside from swooning over some popular song that wasn't even good in 1973 let alone now, these good folks also seem to have an almost obsessive fascination with learning what Billy Joe Jim Bob and Betty Sue Ann are up to.

Now, I'm certainly not one to knock long-lived friendships, but it remains a mystery to me why someone would care about the life and times of some kid they barely crossed the hall to give a wedgie to, thirty years ago.

Of course, I could dismiss my cynicism more readily if I could actually remember anything good about my school daze... and perhaps if a bunch of these reminiscing people we're always going on about how "horrible" school was, for them.

Unhappy days: Why remember?

Perhaps my personal lack of fascination with old classmates can be partially attributed to the fact that I changed schools a lot. We moved constantly-- sometimes twice in the span of a year-- so I seldom had the opportunity to get to know anyone very well, let alone form "close friendships."

But even so, my strongest recollections of school was that it was a 12-year long nightmare of bullying and misery that left me with very little desire to dig up any of the people who "starred" in that particular phase of my life.

Come to think of it, I can barely even think of anyone I knew well enough to where they'd have a clue as to who I am, 40 years later. In fact, looking back from my current 50-something vantage point, I only have contact with a couple of people I went to high school with, and I have a vague peripheral awareness of just a tiny handful of people I went to college with.

We have the right to choose our friends, right?

It's not that I'm anti-social, mind you. I like people well enough. But the people I choose to have in my life are there because I feel something positive as a result of their presence.

What's more, I am absolutely nothing likethe person I was 40-odd years ago, and I have no desire to "re-visit" those times, even "for nostalgia's sake." Which (I sense) is largely what I would be doing if I went to the trouble of tracking down old classmates. After all, what would we have to talk about? The "good old days," right? That would be our "common ground," but that common ground does not represent a time I have any desire to bring into fresh memory.

"Ah Bob! Is that really you? You were a nasty piece of work who stole my lunch and let the air out of my bicycle tires... it's GREAT to see you!"

NOT...

As I look around me, and talk to occasional friends who are thinking about going to their high school reunions, I do notice a trend. The people who really like this stuff were generally either "popular" when they were in school, or they were nerdy rejects who have radically improved their lives, so they have some kind of success story to tell. Rarely-- and I mean rarely-- do I find the "average nobodys" who were largely unknown back in school, who subsequently grew up to become "average people doing average things," among those who get all fired up over revisiting school and reflecting fondly on what old classmates are up to.

Honoring different perspectives

Don't get me wrong. If you're all fired up over the whole tracking down high school friends thing, good for you! I'm happy for you that it brings you a measure of joy and excitement. I'm sincerely not just a bitter old curmudgeon, nor am I here to knock your style. I'm just saying, I was one of the "weird kids" back then, and now that I am much older I see no reason to "go back" to those days. They are best leaft in peace, where they belong... in the past.

Sadly, I have evidently become someone many people perceive as "a little odd" for not caring more about old classmates and high school reunions. And it's not that I haven't been... went to a couple with my ex, many moons ago... and it was mostly... aaawkward.

So all I really ask-- is when you come to me with your invitations to be part of your gig... is to honor the fact that some of us really don't share your perspective and point of view, just like I honor your perspective, even if it's not for me.

Personally? I think my "good old days" still lie ahead somewhere... because I really can't think much from the past I'd want to dig up and relive. So that's my story, and I am sticking to it!

And that should really be OK. Right?

How about YOU? What are your memories of your school days? Good? Bad? Indifferent? Are you still in touch with lots of people from your school days? Have you gone to reunions? Does this hold an attraction for you-- or are you just not interested? Leave a comment and share <emyour experience-- start the conversation!

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