As I've grown older, I've had to constantly redefine love as I've learned more about it. Layers and layers of illusion have been stripped away to reveal that which is truly love for me.
As I strip away those layers, I'm reminded that intimacy is me being me, and letting you see me. For it is when I'm authentic that I'm in a state when and where I know that the people who love me, love me for who I am as of this moment.
But there is more to it than just being me. Love is reciprocal. Unrequited love is an oxymoron. It is simply not possible to be in love with someone who does not return it. Unrequited love is a neurosis.
That reciprocation is essential to love, as for a child must be loved by his parents as much as he loves his parents, so too must a woman be loved by a man and vice versa. Regardless of gender identity, or lifestyle choices, love is absolutely reciprocal. Love can even be fellowship among a group of people with a single, common goal.
Love is letting another person grow to the greatest extent possible while doing no harm. Harm and love simply cannot co-exist. Love is a genuinely warm regard for someone else and their growth, and harm doesn't contribute to growth of another.
Just allowing other people to grow, accepting their mistakes, helping them to work through growing pains (even adults are still growing in some way), remaining calm and modeling calmness, and just being there - they are all ways to demonstrate love. These are actions we may take to express our love.
For the people I love in my life, I let them know in one way or another, that no matter what, they can always ask me for a hug. A hug is the simplest expression of love. It's free, it's easy, and it's loaded with oxytocin. A hug is one of the easiest of all gifts to give.
Well, I guess that's a rather long definition of love. And maybe it's not so simple. I wonder if defining it reduces its scope, it's meaning. The value of love is in expressing it, for love isn't just a noun. It's a verb. Love requires action to be transmitted, to be exchanged.
Withholding love is bad for your health. It's like holding your breath. For love to work, you must let it go out and see what happens next.
Oh, look at the time. I better get some sleep. Love is something to feel while falling asleep, too.
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Ah, yes. There is a difference between expectation and giving. And while I give without expectation, if there is no reciprocation, then it is not love.
I give to my kids without expectation. They love me because they depend on me for their survival. I give love to the adults in my life without expectation, too. But if my love is not reciprocated with fellowship or affection, then it is probably not love.
I don't have any expectations when I give, but I do look to see if there is reciprocation. In simple terms, my philosophy has been that if you show up, I show up. If you stop showing up, then I move on.
This is just how I believe it to work. You may have a different philosophy, a different experience. I write this piece, even this comment, not to say, I'm right and you're wrong. I write it to say, "Hey, look what I found. What do you think?"
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I think you've got a pretty good reasoning.
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"But there is more to it than just being me. Love is reciprocal. Unrequited love is an oxymoron. It is simply not possible to be in love with someone who does not return it. Unrequited love is a neurosis"
@digitalfirehouse this is an incredible piece of thought. Am elated to have come across this post.
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Thank you for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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Other kids look jealous when they see me hug my daughter, but what would happen if I gave them a hug too? Messed up humans!
Upvoted, resteemed and has been added to the latest MAP Upvotes post.
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When you hug your kids in front of other kids, you show them what is possible. You're helping to un-mess up those humans. :)
Thank you so much for noticing my article, the upvote, resteem and mention in the Map Upvotes post. I am honored by your acknowledgement.
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