Single and Looking for love? Try Online Dating + Tips for a successful (online)date

in life •  7 years ago  (edited)

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Some Steemians write posts where I can conclude that they are looking for love and perhaps they don't know how to find love. So here I am, writing a post about online dating. My husband is so not going to like this post but there is no reason for it because it has a happy ending. Me and my husband found each other online. It wasn't a dating site but more a social media platform like Facebook but then for Dutch people living in the Netherlands called Hyves.nl. A friend of mine begged me somewhere in 2007 to make a Hyves account so I can stay in touch with her and our past class mates that she wanted to show how they looked back then. I refused couple of times because I wasn't into social media. After so many times hearing her begging I finally made an account to make her happy. I remember that I used this pictures as my profile picture:

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So I met some classmates from the past but I also received messages from some guys who seemed to like me and wanted to know me better. I refused them all because they looked like players in my eyes. One of the guys was my husband saying: you look very beautiful. I was like: Uhhh, whatever! I didn't pay much attention to it. This was his profile picture:

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Months passed and it was summer 2008. My friends were all on summer holiday travelling but I decided not to go and just worked more days as a waitress and going to the gym. I felt a bit bored so I replied my husband's old message from months ago. He replied very fast and soon we spoke on the phone. It was very funny to hear him speaking English because he has a German accent. Shortly after we spoke we met each other in Amsterdam City. We fell in love and we had a relationship. Few months later we engaged. We kept it simple because we simply didn't have the money to make it big, but we also didn't feel the need to make party or so. After our engagement I had to go to Singapore to NTU( Nanyang Technology University) to do my exchange program for 4/5 months. He visited me in Singapore and after I returned from Singapore we got married and he bought a house, a small apartment for us. Happy ending! ;-)

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Many people would say NO to online dating saying that there are too many psycho's. Yet, when you ask them if they ever tried they say no. Ofcourse there are psycho's or people who pretend to be someone else. I tried online dating a few times simply because I didn't find anyone I liked on the streets. Once there was a guy who didn't have a profile picture saying he still have to do that, but we spoke 2 weeks on the phone. So I just had to visualise how he looked. He had a very beautiful voice. 2 weeks have passed and he finally put a profile picture and my heart was broken. He didn't look like I visualised him! I was crying for days and it reminded me of Catfish MTV.

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Tips for online dating

Love should be for free, so don't go to dating sites where you have to pay and get scammed

Ok, love is not totally free, the price is your heart ;-). What I actually mean is that there are dating sites where you have to pay for messaging someone. I have seen on television some scammers where they do that. So don't trust those dating sites where you have to pay for messaging the person you really like so much.

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Don't give your address

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How matching this person can be to you, don't give your address to him/her. He/she might be a thief trying to manipulate you.

Don't chat for a long period

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Don't chat for too long, especially with only a picture. If that person or you are not able to meet within weeks, you might be broken hearted if you find out this person uses a fake profile picture. Try at least to skype each other if you both cannot meet but are really starting to like each other or falling in love.

Meet in public

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If you both are ready to meet each other, remember this rule! You don't know this person yet, so the best is to meet in public like a cafe or restaurant. Avoid quite parks and don't meet the person at your own place/house in case he/she is a psychopath.

If you are still scared to try online dating, then remember that anyone can be a psychopath. Someone can change from being so lovely into a psychopath. Not everybody you meet online are psychopaths and not eveybody you meet offline are not psychopaths.

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Very interesting your online love story @fathin-shihab. You have great experience of online dating.
Up-Voted & Re-Steemed.

thank you

Do not stop.. Just keep loving. Wish you happy life.

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"Love is the inexhaustible warmth that rejuvenates beings, makes them flourish with grace and gives them hope, it is the inseparable attraction of every sign of perfection. is beautiful, honest, sincere and generous. "
Quote from Étienne Pivert de Senancour; The little book of love (1854)

Wow..very interesting topic @fathin-shihab. IF you find your love from dating anyone can search their love via trustworthy dating sites. Also we need to be honest & patience. You giving best advice to newly comers.
Interesting love story of yours.

you're welcome ;-)

Best tips for online love you sharing. That would be most important for new coming society.

I met my ex-girlfriend on a dating app. It was a great relationship but we wanted different things. What scares me about dating apps or social media most, especially in my country of Malaysia, is that people don't know how to communicate on the streets anymore. No one knows how to be friendly and accepting to random social interactions. I find it a lot easier to meet people online than in person these days. A huge reverse culture shock for me coming back from the US

I also noticed in Indonesia, people are more attached to their phone than here in the Netherlands. In Indonesia when you speak to them, they keep looking at their phone(Facebook) rather than having eye contact with you. I can imagine the cultural shock. I believe the people in Asia are also more shy than Western people and afraid to have a conversation with a stranger on the streets.

Hello, it is a tool that Many people use, I invite you to visit my blog, regards

lets spread love all over :D

Good idea ;-)

Yeah... So true @fathin-shihab, I like the way you concluded by saying not everyone online are psychopaths and not all offline are not psychopaths.

People can find love anywhere but in finding it apply wisdom. I have heard a lot of persons who have found love online and it ended happily just like yours, while some may be unlucky to have one.

This is a good read and I enjoyed it!
@starbele

Yes, online dating can be a solution for people who can't find anyone "on the streets". It's always nice to hear good stories ;-) Thank for reading!

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Wow! Life work in strange ways. Thank you for the tips. My love life is a total zero and maybe one day I will turn to online dating. Your post is a bit encouraging :)

I also want to add that there are some really freaky scammers. I had a job offer to pretend to play a character. So it goes something like a commercial on the TV, where they ask you to send an SMS with your interests and they will find your perfect match. The truth is that this match does not exist, it is a team of people who pretend to be that person and each sms that you reply to from this mr. perfect gets commissioned to the person who plays him.

What an unusual job :-) yeah, you should never pay for sending messages. I heard about it on television but also here on steemit platform. Love should be free.

Yes, sometimes it leads to marriage 🙂. I am happy if I can encourage people to find love online. :-).

Good publication friend. Thank you for sharing this to the community. Regards ;)

Wow!!! it looks lovely,,,,,,,,,,,,,
thanks for sharing..../////

This was a good post. I enjoyed reading it. The best part to me was when you gave tips of how not to get catfished.

I've read several articles regarding online dating. But I found one blog that provides readers with actionable advice from today’s top dating experts, trusted news sources, trending topics, and data-science.
Check these out. You'll like it! https://blog.loveawake.com/?s=dating