You Can Choose Your Friends, But You Can't Choose Your Nickname

So, Choose Your Friends Wisely

Ah, nicknames. Just like the name on your birth certificate, you don't get to choose how others will refer to you. It's left to them. But if a name sticks, it can be with you throughout your entire life.

_{Photo by Dylan Hooper on Unsplash}

Here's to you, Sparky!

What's In A Name? Apparently, A Nickname

I've had quite a few nicknames throughout my life. Mainly, because my first name, Glen, lends itself to it. Being one syllable, and showing up as part of other names, I've had different people, mainly when I was younger, calling me:

• Glendale (as in California, which I'd never been to by this time and neither had anyone else)
• Glenny (my Grandma A used to call me this, but not so much to my face. Not sure why. She could get away with it. :) )
• Glen Glen—Don't remember where this one came from, but I believe it was when I was a toddler or thereabouts.
• Glenda (as in the good witch, since I was generally considered a good guy—the minds of 11-year-olds)
• Glenny-the-Pooh (so, so clever)

_{Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash}

Glenny-the-Pooh, Glenny-the-Pooh, tubby little wubby all stuffed with food...

I could go on, but you get the picture. Fortunately, none of those nicknames stuck.

Kids These Days

Later in life, nicknames sprung up for other reasons. There was a rather annoying period of time roughly eight years ago that my sons began to call me "Bald Eagle." In fact, one of them set up their phone to show an actual bald eagle, with Bald Eagle over the top and a ringtone of an eagle's cry any time I would call him.

_{Photo by Harald Hofer on Unsplash}

That's me. Looking to the future.

The nickname, of course, derives from the fact that I am predominantly bald. I am also American, and the bald eagle is the national bird and shows up on emblems, shields, money, etc. The bald eagle is kind of stern looking, which was pretty much me trying to get my sons to tow the line. It's also a symbol of American pride and patriotism, of which I've spent some time trying to instill into them.

However, it was mostly to make fun of me. I don't think I have any significant qualities of a bald eagle at all.

Thankfully, they've grown out of it, but they still think it's funny.

Finally Nicknames I Like

My favorite nickname of all time, or pet name in this case, is Amor. That's what my wife calls me (when she's not mad at me).

She is originally from Mexico, so the nickname is Spanish and means Love. Sometimes she'll say, "Mi Amor" or my love.

_{Source unknown. Photo provided by Glen Anthony Albrethsen}

Our wedding day, back when I had hair.

I'm grateful for this because similar pet names like Babe, Honey or Dear have never really resonated with me. (Amor does.) I know those are popular, so I won't say anymore. Ya'll can nickname each other whatever the heck you like.

In return, I either call her Niña or Chiquita. Those terms are also Spanish and mean Girl and Little Girl, respectively. She's several years older than me, and I didn't meet her until she was in her late 20s. So it's not that I've known her since she was really young, or even think of her in terms of a little girl or being naive. She's not. It's primarily because she's short (4' 9"), still very much cute and still very youthful when it comes to doing things and talking. She's got more energy than me and most people her age.

Whereas I like her nickname for me, she isn't that thrilled with the ones I've picked out.

Meh. No Thanks

Then, of course, she can call me Papa, Gordo, and Osito Panda, too, which mean Dad, Fatso and Panda Bear. Yeah, not so much.

Gordo, along with Flaco (skinny or thin) and other words like Vieja or Viejo (Old Woman, Old Man) are all considered terms of endearment. Personally, I don't see it, but to each their own.

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I love you, old woman. I love you, too, old man.

It Is Pretty Cute

Lately, I've been called Abuelo (Grandfather), Grandpa and Pa Pa (which you have to pronounce like you're puffing out air). The joys of having a grand daughter. I'll probably have more nicknames before she's done with me.

Put On Your Thinking Caps

There are three other nicknames I'd like to mention, but instead of telling you now how I got them, I'd like to see if you can guess what they mean and how they were bestowed upon me. If you can't guess, make something up.

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Riddle me this! What has three eyes and flies?

Feel free to talk about any nicknames you care to divulge, too. Make sure to explain how you got them, though. That's where the fun in all of this is.

I'll provide the answers in a reply to the first one who comments, and then refer subsequent guesses to it, so everyone who wants to know can find out.

My Three Nicknames

1. SMOKEY—I got this during my junior year in high school, sometime during the winter to early spring.

2. KOZ—this is one of two (see below) nicknames I had the year I went to Brigham Young University (Yes, I only went one year).

3. FRIZZ—I'm not sure of the spelling here, but that's how it sounds. This also came during my time at BYU.

Okay, have at it. I'll be eagerly awaiting your guesses in the comments.