Are you a real Man (or Woman?)
Orginal image theodysseyonline.com - modified
Whenever I hear about spousal abuse, my blood starts boiling. But anger quickly gives way to sadness, emphathy and love.
Sadness about the fallen nature of men and women who have forgotten what LOVE means. Did they ever know Love?
I have seen many posts, even on Steemit, asking the question:
What is love?
Look no further!
The answers given in those posts often focus on feeling and self gratification, when Love is the very opposite of that. While this post is not about the Christian bible, this quote from the bible is the perfect definition of True Love.
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends...
Whether we are believers or not, any human being with decency would find it hard to argue with the bible's definition of LOVE. Wouldn't you agree?
Love is not arrogant, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing...
Yes, when spouses are so full of themselves that they hurt their partner, when they physically and mentally abuse the one person in life they ought to trust the most, then a whole world crashes down on the one who bears the pain, and one the invisible victims.
The Unseen Victims
When my sadness scans the situation - I see them clearly: The Chidren: frightened, terrified, hopeless...
...laden with guilt and full of fears. The fights, the hurt, the thick air of hate that makes it hard to breathe and sleep. Psychological problems may leave our precious children scarred for life.
Weak people you are!
Shameful!
Disgusting!
What is wrong with you?
I tell you:
You are not strong!
You are not worthy of a relationship.
You don't deserve the person who have entrusted themselves to you.
You are not worthy to be regarded by any human as a human until you change your ways!
There can never be an excuse for spousal abuse.
Here are some sobering statistics from 2016:
| Description | Statistic |
|---|---|
| Male offenders | 85% |
| Female offenders | 15% |
| Number of children witnessing spousal abuse p.a. | 6 Million ! |
| Domestic crimes reported to police | 25% |
Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice
image credit: globi-observatory.org
THE amount of children witnessing domestic abuse and violence annually is staggering. A crime in and of itself. There can be no excuse. None!
ONLY 25% of all domestic abuse is reported?
Why?
- Are the victims to frightened to report their abuser?
- Are they in a dependency that would leave them homeless if they did, because the abuser is the breadwinner?
- Are they afraid that the CPS marches in, takes away their kids because a potential homeless mom cannot care for her children?
- Are they afraid they would not be believed?
WHAT values has this society adopted that spouses think they have a right to mistreat the ones they once claimed to have loved? Because you surely don't have an ounce of love in you now.
If you are a victim of spousal abuse, don't escalate with the partner present. Talk to someone you can trust. Seek help and protect yourself and your children.
ALL SBD of this post will be donated to help a friend in distress.
Proud Supporter of PAL and the - The Minnow SupportProject [Upvote] [Comment] [Resteem] [Follow]
Christopher "The Hat" Hatfield @globocop
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My grandmother went through this with her 2nd husband and my father witnessed it. Growing up it was drummed into me that that kind of behaviour was unacceptable and the act of a despicable coward.
My father had anger issues as a young man (never with women) which he fortunately learned to control after spending many years in the armed forces however whenever domestic abuse crossed his path either with neighbours or relatives he was a force to be reckoned with for the abusers. I suspect they paid heavily for his stepfathers crimes!
Whether or not his actions were right or wrong regarding the retribution he exacted on said abusers is something I've never really pondered however I'm glad he brought me up to respect women and despise the cowardly bastards that hurt their spouses.
Just my 2 cents globo. Thanks for bringing this subject up from the perspective of the affected children.
Resteemed buddy.
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Thanks @tremendospercy - It is for us, as a community to shape our society to conform to values of Peace - Abundance and Liberty. MSM, and enemies of Life and Liberty seek to destroy that very principle - but we have a choice: (1) Not to harm others when not defending self (2) To allow MSM and their puppet masters to dictate our values. (3) To make it clear that any spousal abuse is unlawful and unjust.
Thanks dear friend!
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I'm so sorry your grandmother suffered this and it's hard on the kids. Mine bear scars of which I wish I could erase once I was free. In that hell you just try to survive. It's when you get away you count the damages and feel such guilt.
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Babe, I feel awful for what you and the kids went through. 😔 Being here and being able to discuss it is testement to your bravery ❤️
My Father had the added horror of seeing his baby brother snatched away from his Mother through a train window by his Father when she left him, something he'd repressed and remembered vividly when I was born. We all have our crosses to bear however sadly some much more than others.
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I was 20 years a victim. I was all the above; afraid for my life, 100% financially dependant. I was stalked and my life repeatedly threatened. I am praying for your friend. God has a plan.
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First, dear @wandrnrose7 Praise God you're safe and made it out.
For many, the financial dependence and the children, or the angst to lose the children for fear of becoming homeless, keeps them in danger. How did you make it out?
I think I should make it a theme of one of the next radio shows/
God bless you, and thank you for sharing!
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I made it out with the support of God, my husband's own cousin, my children, a neighbor and my internet friends. The first step was connecting online to other people... I had been secluded for the entire marriage and it was hard to reach out for help. There aren't enough resources and the story is long and complicated but God open the doors and build bridges. If you ever want me on the show to discuss it, I will try to work out a date and time for us to do a piece.
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You are the BEST!
You past has shaped your present and future, but please do not change,
Rose! I mean, keep growing, but the wonderful person you are is an
inspiration to more folks than you or I can count. RESPECT and Love! <3
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Thank you for all of your kindness and respect as well as your continuous support and generosity!
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Thank You for this article, @globocop...
I have not been involved in domestic abuse in any way shape or form, but growing up I did see enough bullying that I am on the side of those who need it, and always try and help. This is a good re-focusing of priorities, because it is time for this country and all responsible souls to unite and end this type of bad behavior. Abuse of women and children (all types) is now coming out in the open in the public and political arenas. Time to Clean House, Drain the Swamp, whatever you want to call it. Predators have got to be held accountable, it's been far to long that they have had their reign of terror. Amen
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I couldn't have said it better @underground
They (the abusers, incl. governments) rule by fear. And we, as one peoples, ought to stand up against every evil - domenstic - or global... Come hell and fury - we shall not stand by silently any more.
Have a peaceful thanksgiving!
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Spouse abuse is not something to witness as a child and it is very bad. I was once a witness as a child and it tells on me untill i became an adult.
Thanks to God That I overcome it and I am doing fine.
Thanks to my spouse for being a loving one also.
I am really sorry for the victim you know. Send my hug to the person.
@seyiodus.
#Hug-Challenge!
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Thank you @seyiodus!
I very happy that you are in a good relationship and that you were able to shake off that experience.
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I'm sorry to hear you know someone going through this and I'm also glad to hear you raising awareness. This is a serious issue and often the victims (which is a term I rarely use) don't feel safe or comfortable speaking out and getting help. I think we as a society need to fix a lot of things and how we treat and stigmatize mental health and glorify violence while shaming sex is ridiculous. Great post Globo.
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I couldn't have summarized it better @clayboyn You're speaking from my heart. Thank you! 💔
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When the philosophy show starts up you are def one of the people I should have on one week. We might disagree on some of the fundamentals or who knows maybe we agree in more ways than might be apparent. The great thing about philosophy is there is no "right or wrong" and it can adapt and change. One thing is for sure though, talking about these issues and raising awareness from a sincere place is needed on a global scale.
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Most of us want the world to be a better place - it's how we understand the root cause of evil that often goes into different directions.
Would love to be a guest on your show... 🎙
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I have been where you speak and found the courage to take myself and the children out of that situation. The tension has pretty much cleared in the home now. It was by no means easy and sometimes I think that things could have been different, given one more chance.
For me personally, I was frightened of the consequences of leaving and whether my husband would hurt me or my family, like he threatened to. I was brainwashed into thinking what was happening in the household was just like any other family and I gave lots of chances in the hope that he would change, or stop drinking for good.
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Hello @hopehuggs Thanks so much for sharing! And for your courage to take that step into the inknown, seemingly unsecure... It is better to live in peace alone than in strife and danger in danger.
Alcohol and drugs are bringing the worst out in many - a subject I should have touched on - because the incidents I am describing here are fueled by alcohol. The question then is: What do you love more spouse: your wife/husband or alcohol?
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Hello again @hopehuggs
Just noticed an unfollow from you and wonder if this was on purpose? 😯
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It was an accident sorry, refollowed. Going through my list to pick out people I'd like to follow and you are one of them. I love this article and want to read more.
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:D It didn't make sense - the unfollow. Glad we caught it... Yeah - it's easy to do to press a button and voilà ...
I am writing about all kinds of things - not enough mind you.
I am much involved in the Steemit Radio Station on mspwaves.com.
MSP is Minnowsupport. Do you know about it? It's an amazing community of Steemit Minnows with many special interest grops. You can find info here: http://minnowsupportproject.org/
Would bee great to have you there, too. :)
Thanks for the refollow... :D
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Sign me up! There is no excuse for spousal abuse. If it is that bad, go get a hotel room or stay with a friend!
But honestly drugs or alcohol are probably often involved. Then you have impared judgment.
Thx for speaking out.
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No excuse - at the v least, people often say things under the influence that cannot be taken back. Words have power.
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I concur, Chris!
Furthermore, I would like to also mention the kind of emotional and spiritual abuse that is often perpetrated yet ignored, especially in private lives.
There is an epidemic of abuse that is often unspoken, where many are ashamed due to how they had been perpetrated by loved ones in ways that didn't always leave physical marks behind.
💘 and peace to all. May we be the love we always needed and have always deserved.
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Yes, the danger of both physical and non physical abuse is clear and present. Thank you for your support. We need to be the examples in living - not in words. x
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Yes, indeed.
How you said it reminds me of the effervescent Liz Fraser (in Massive Attack's Teardrop) breathing life into inert words,
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Beautiful! Thanks for sharing this lille poem!
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Glad you liked it. It's from the song. The gist is what you speak of with regard to the demonstrative act of love.
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This is so deep. NYC one
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It seems strange to me to hear that there are men who still beat up their wives in this day in age.
However i want to belief that in some case it is the women that because it for themselves, because some women know that the man they want to marry is dangerous but they still go ahead to marry the man.
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That's why I quoted the ultimate defintion of Love in the post - and understanding these will lead to discernment.
People do change over time, and often not to the better.
Thanks for your comments.
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first off the title of this post is spot on, real men don't hurt women. real men meaning honourable and trustworthy. we could say the same for humans in general too. this world has forgotten the meaning of love, love has become something exterior to ourselves, something to be attained. it is sad that when people suffer it causes them to bring sufffering to others, thus repeating the cycle over and over again. sending love to your friend and hoping she can free herself from this relationship and have a life free of fear and violence.
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