Did you ever WONDER how you can apologize to a stranger if you don't know how to find them? Author R.J. Palacio found a way... and Hollywood made a movie about it.

in life •  7 years ago  (edited)

Twenty seven years and ninety-seven days ago, while enjoying my day at a Six Flags Amusement Park, I threw a handful of ice cream at a friend. I missed. The mushy, frozen glob hit a five year old girl directly in the face. Because I remember it like it was yesterday, I still feel terrible about it. Luckily for me, I was able to run to the girl and her father and apologize profusely. It helped... a little.

But what if I was not able to express my sincere regret? How much worse would I feel today?

What can we do when we mistreat a stranger but we never have the opportunity to try to make amends?

When it happened to R.J. Palacio, she decided to make amends by authoring a remarkably beautiful children's novel that would educate both children and adults to avoid her mistake.



She wrote Wonder. I'd like to sincerely thank her for doing so.

According to an interview with NPR in 2013, one day Palacio was at an ice cream shop with her children. She and her children were sitting next to a little girl who had very unique and uncommon facial features. As the author's three year old son began to cry in fear, she grabbed her children and "fled". Not only was she worried her children's reaction would upset the little girl, Palcio felt very uncomfortable.

That evening, Palcio became angry at herself.

"What I should have done is simply turned to the little girl and started up a conversation and shown my kids that there was nothing to be afraid of."

But it was too late. The possible teachable moment had passed. She would never see the little girl again.

So Palacio got to work on her apology. She apologized in the most beautiful and powerful way possible. She showed her remorse by creating August Pullman.



You deserve one for creating August Pullman.

Thank you Mrs. Palacio for giving my children Auggie.

The book's title and opening lines are an homage to the 1995 Natalie Merchant song Wonder.

If you haven't heard the song or seen the video, check it out below. But while you watch, pay special attention to the people joining Natalie Merchant in the video.



According to Merchant, the song is about a child born with a "congenital disease"... and how that child will overcome these challenges. Not only does the video feature women and girls from many different nationalities, a child with Down Syndrome plays a very prominent role. We have come a long way. This fact might not be significant today... but this video was released 21 years ago. Natalie Merchant made a bold statement with this empowering song and video.

Thank you Natalie Merchant for celebrating "the wonders of God's own creation".

But what about the book itself?


First of all, I realize this is not a new book. It was published in February of 2012. However, with a movie version being released in November, I want to encourage families to read this book ASAP.

Wonder by R.J. Palacio is amazing. No. I am not trying to be cute. Each chapter literally amazed me.

How can a book use words and situations simple enough for a 10 year old to comprehend... and yet be so deep?

How can a book tell the hero's journey of a ten year old without seeming cliche?

How can a book, written for children, make me smile on every page while my eyes constantly welled with tears?

How did the author get inside my head and allow me to read this through my own children's eyes?

Amazing



Although Wonder is intended to be read by 10- 12 year olds, the lessons it teaches know no age limits. They are universal. They are Good.

Wonder tells the story of a 10 year old boy, August Pullman, who is attending school for the first time. Auggie happens to have a craniofacial difference which causes his face to look much different than other's faces. His eyes are set very wide apart and are far lower on his face than most. His ears "look like squashed pieces of pizza dough sticking out of the top of my neck" (211). At one point, Auggie describes himself as having a face that looks like it has melted.

Although Auggie's quest to overcome the challenges created by his face people's reactions to his face, is the driving force behind the story, he is not the only one with obstacles to conquer. That is the beauty of this book. All children feel like Auggie sometimes. They feel scared, ashamed, shunned, nervous, unpopular and awkward. Hopefully they also feel loved and supported... just like Auggie. Palacio fills Auggie's world with characters to whom we can all relate (if you are willing to remember what it was like to be a child).

Palacio tells the story from six different points of view. That may sound complicated, but somehow it is not. Each character's story models some trait that I hope my children emulate including: courage, compassion, strength, selflessness, kindness, forgiveness, acceptance, being a good friend, and standing up for what is right.



That is the other amazing thing about this book. I like to use pop culture to teach my children life lessons. Wonder is tailor made for this. In fact, several chapters begin with a life lesson presented in the form of a 5th grade English teacher's class precepts. (Yes she flat out make these concrete lessons part of the story!)

The story is also fun. Although the book is very emotional, Palacio does a masterful job of making sure to follow up the most stirring parts with a splash of humor. Most 10 year olds won't stick with a book that is too sad, heavy, or filled with lessons. An author needs to trick kids into reading those parts by surrounding them in action and humor. Palacio does this very well. There are no "boring parts" in the story. It is short and moves very quickly. My 10 year old daughter is constantly asking me to read her one more chapter. At this rate, she will finish the book in less than a week (I pre-read it in one night).

This book is filled with excellent life lessons and role models… and my daughter does not want to put it down.

Amazing



The movie version of Wonder, starring Owen Wilson and Julia Roberts, will be released on November 17, 2017. I hope your kids are able to read it before then. Although I don't think the movie will possibly be able to do this book justice, I'm taking my kids on opening weekend no matter what. I am going to hold out hope that the movie will be... Amazing!

If you'd like to see all of Mr. Browne's Precepts taught in the book, check this out.

Images 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

http://www.npr.org/2013/09/12/221005752/how-one-unkind-moment-gave-way-to-wonder

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I was unaware of the book's origin. Very cool.

Thanks. I just stumbled across it after my daughter told me they started reading it at school (we are reading ahead). Very cool motivation to write.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

That's amazing. I saw the book late July when my young cousin, 11 years old, came to Spain with my aunt. We were sitting at a cafe, and I noticed the book she was holding - she reads all the time. When I asked her about it, she told me the story was about a boy who is deformed. I didn't know the background story then, but I thought it was great to have a book like that which can teach children about diversity, acceptance and compassion. Thank you for sharing the moral of the story and for making the important point that it's not only for children!

Sounds like your cousin is a great kid!

Thank you! She is wonderful. She even remembers what books I got her when she was 3 and 4. I can't remember what I had for dinner two nights ago!!

Put it on my list

Jings, I could feel myself welling up at parts of your description of it. I will defo be getting this. I love books and films that actually teach stuff in a clever on their level kind of way. Is it too much for a five year old? My girl is starting to love longer books. Obviously being read to her :O)

I truly believe it will be a big hit with her. My daughter is 10 and loves it so far.

Not too big of a spoiler but you might want to read around page 220 ahead of time. You don't want to get stuck with that chapter being the last one right before bed.

That is the kind of spoiler hint I dont mind at all!! Cheers man!

wow

I love it when I find an article that makes me feel good while I'm reading. It's a beautiful point that flows with the current shift happening in humanity. I believe people want to do better and we are evolving into a more loving society.

Incredible review and more. I'll have to read this book.

Thanks! I really think it is a great one to enjoy with the kids. I have a feeling it is going to be one that my daughter remembers me reading to her for a long time.

If you find the time, I hope you enjoy it.

I would like to see the movie and I just hope it well translated what the book is all about and what life lessons it teaches to the viewers.
We need this kinds of books and movies because of what it does fro the development of values for children most especially.
Thanks for this review @blocktrades

This is a really great post. Very encouraging to anyone who may feel like August. It also teaches that your reaction to people can have a deep impact.

I work at an elementary school in MA third grade classroom. It's amazing so far, we read it to our room and the kids have so many questions and are so puzzled by the reactions of some of the characters to Auggie.

I don't know whether it is because of the distance they feel towards the characters and our reality but some of our students couldn't grasp why and how people could be so mean...such strong reflection within a few chapters I can't wait to read the rest before the movie haha.

It seems the younger we are... the nicer we are lol. It sounds like you work with some great kids!

yeah theyre okay :) a lot of them I had last year in the second grade classroom and I know they are wonderful leaders.

Great post. I remember when I was a lot younger I hit a broken chair leg against a tree (trying to have a laugh with my friends) and the leg snapped off. Next thing I knew is that the leg was flying through the air and it smashed into a driving car. That car slammed on its brakes and then drove off. I felt terrible about it and still do.

Thank you for your post I will check this book and movie out (when released).

I will eagerly await the book titled "Sorry dude for hitting your car with a chair leg". There is probably a better title than that...

Seriously, I know how you feel. I could have made this whole posts about things I wish I could take back.

Haha, I quite like that title to be honest. Maybe - "The Day I realised how physics work".

I wouldn't dwell on the past too much if you can mate. We have all made mistakes and done things we wish we could change but unfortunately in a lot of cases we can't. Just do good from here on out and don't stress over what you can't control...now only if I can take my own advice.

Lol. I am fine. I just like to use that story with my kids about why we should think before we act. Sounds like you have a great one too!

That title is much better. Lol

fantastic information @hanshotfirst, well i think this book is a great product to improve a personal development, i should read the book and also try to watch the movie soon after release, thanks for sharing

I hope you enjoy them!

Oh..good to know about ' wonder'. And it's nice that you are realising that you have done something wrong so many years back and I think this realisation is enough for you..

The book Wonder is one of the best books in my library!!

You are so good with the written words that it made me want to read the book as well as see the movie when it comes out in November. As an NLP Coach, I love anything psychology related and stories that have deep meaning but with honour to lighten it. I'll get the book and look forward to seeing the film. Thank you for sharing.

Topic is really interesting and unique. i mean i never see something like this and a movie on this topic starring owen and julia... i am looking forward to this..

I've never had a chance to read this one, but may try and find a copy after your recommendation. It is amazing how some books that we've read as children can have such a deep meaning for us as adults. There are numerous childrens books that have simple concepts easy enough for young readers to understand, but a lot of deeper more insightful proverbs/analogies/metaphors/morals hidden within that adult readers can find. Makes me want to go back and read some of my old childrens books

Good point. Who knows what I missed in all of those books?

Wonder will create a lot of wonders in people's life. Such unique and different novels are written very rare and we should be very grateful when we have them to read. Now as you wrote that a movie is coming on this novel, it will be like a mega hit of the year. I am just going to order the book now.

This is a great post. I have to get this book and read some of it with my 10 year old grandson. Thanks or sharing this.

I think he'll love it!

you are a good writer..u made curious enough to read that book and watch the movie as soon as releases..great..keep on writing..you have a very good talent :)

Thank you.

I thought this post was going to be about being the bigger person and apologizing when apologies need to be made. I didn't know it was going to be about the book and movie haha.

But yeah, I feel you!

I remember being really rude to a parking attendant once (cause I was being a moody bitch.) I felt so bad I apologized to him later and we shook hands. He also told me not to worry about it.

It's these moments that really tell who a person really is.

I don't know how many times I have seen it in people who clearly know what they screwed up, but instead of making amends, they start to make up excuses to validate their insecurities.

"Oh it wasn't my fault. He was the one who walked into me."

"Oh I was drunk. I don't remember anything so therefore it doesn't count."

"If he didn't want me to cheat on him, he should treated me better!"

And so on.

Although I must say, it can be a little hard to swallow one's pride. I personally need to work on forgiving others and not raining hell on them before giving them a chance to even apologize.

Thanks for the post @hanshotfirst. Definitely checking out the book.

Lol. Sorry for tricking you. I admit I was trying to draw people in who otherwise might not have heard of the book. I really hope a few families will read it even if they hadn't planned to before.

Oh and I agree about apologizing. Far too many people become defensive. People make mistakes. It's how we handle them that truly matters.

Haha no worries on the tricking. I will check out the book! Is it under the Young Adult genre though?

Young adult or possibly slightly lower. Audience is 5th to 7th grade.

I looked this up on Amazon. I was delighted to find the the journal. I also ordered all three books by the same author. My excuse is that I'm going to give them to my grandson, but not until I read them. The journal is for me, lol!

Powerful post @hanshotfirst great song... Thanks for sharing this with us

nice nice.,
good story

There is a famous saying, "dont let the regrets from the past haunt you in the future". Good info through just not for me. I like the thought you put in.

Very good information bro image

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Thanks for sharing @hanshotfirst

If you'd like to see all of Mr. Browne's Precepts taught in the book, check this out.

Great @hanshotfirst.

Thank You @hanshotfirst for the entertaining post. Love that song and the music video.

Have a great day,
Thomas

@handshotfirst thanks for sharing this. Truly we need to realize that every action will have a reaction and our consequence. How we decide to handle that going forward will determine what kind of person we are.

a very good post and I really like this post

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good post

great education for apologize with stranger @hanshotfirst

This makes me wonder while reading. Felt the mix of emotions but I felt great after reading everything. You rock!

That's a very good post, I've never hear before about this book, but it is very impressive the way that explain how we can learn when you apologize and also, how much you can learn of this experience.

amazing post.

that's very helpful post!!
thank you ;)

It's good that you were able to recognise your actions and the end results but possibly in other times try as much as possible to think of the end result of your actions before performing it and if the deed has already been done like you did recognising it and asking for pardon you can continue doing that.

Thank you for posting this article, I like how the basic message states that "just because you cannot show your remorse to one person, that does not mean that you can not show your remorse to many people."

Ohhhhh.. very nice topic, really I need it in my life :) thanks for sharing it.
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Wow, this is amazing; you can go for ever, nice post.

I'd better wait for the movie to come out hehehe

Nice post like it and upvoted!

Wow, Awesome key point to discuss, I never thought about this but I got to know how to apologize to a stranger.

Canadians say sorry so much!! Ive had people tell me not to say sorry to them.

its nice@hanshotfirst, smooth behavior and improvisation of your character to be build just by using read this book.

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i will wait till the movie released I hate burning the steps by reading the book :p

That's a really amazing post

Thanks for sharing!

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I learnt so many lesson from this post. That a good teacher @hanshotfirst

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Damn you make me feel like reading this book! Thanks for the tip. I think it is an amazing idea, well worth exploring

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Very well put up, these are the kind of posts we need here. I loved it, keep up the great work

I would love to see the movie. As the father of an autistic son, my son's behavior in public often attract stares from public. I tried to ignore them but it can be hurtful as well. I also write about life.
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I absolutely loved reading this - I have to go get this book for my kids!