is fetish as the feeder is attracted to fat in particular. being overly sexual attracted to things or objects or body parts is defined as a fettish. It is not common and therefore has its own word, the fact you find that word negative, doesn’t mean it’s better to call it normal or just another preference. . Normal is when on average most people behave the same, not normal means you fall outside of the curve within the range of what most people do. The relationship of a feeder and feedee is not the average behavior, and therefore considered not normal. Is it a choice? I think these woman might be extremely dependent on their feeder, and thus I would say, maybe not. The feeder gets aroused by the partner gaining more, in the process the partner gets more and more dependent, but if she doesn’t gain more, he might not like her any more. Sounds like a healthy relationship?
What if we would turn it around. He falls for extremely thin woman and encourages her to eat less and less. Still just a preference? And ok with you?