How does a conversation with a psychologist differ from a conversation with friend?

Some people say: why do you have a psychologist, you can talk to a friend about your problems? Are they right?

It can happen that in difficult situations, crises or simply in case of doubts about the quality of the services. We seek help and support from our loved ones in making life choices. This is a good thing - research distinguishes contact with other (close) people as one of the ways of dealing with stress. It is assumed that everyone needs more or less intense and frequent contact with others, and people who have good and frequent contact with friends are better able to withstand stress.

One might think: if I have friends, do I need a psychologist? When answering this question, it is worth knowing that the roles of a psychologist and a friend are completely different.

By understanding the problems to be solved

When we turn to someone close to us in a difficult situation, for example a situation related to a reduced mood, we usually expect support: warmth, conversation and acceptance. This helps, however, if the problem results from our subjective experiences and emotions (for example, a strong stress associated with a social phobia), this form of contact, by "stroking" the situation ("don't worry") may turn out to be ineffective and in the long run may even perpetuate adverse mental mechanisms. In some situations, advice from close relatives without education or psychological experience may be counterproductive. The role of a psychotherapist is different - he does not give any life advice, but he can help in analyzing the situation, in understanding and coping with his emotions.

A good psychologist will know how to help you and will guide you towards a thorough solution rather than "fixing the problem". How will it do this? It will try to create a safe atmosphere where you can look at, understand and, if necessary, confront your problems and concerns "from the outside". Close ones, acting in good faith, often want to protect us from such a confrontation, strengthening the power of negative emotions. Example: Avoiding the source of subjective anxiety (e.g., public address anxiety) will make the fear stronger and stronger.

See yourselves in reflection

A good psychologist never therapies his loved ones and friends - he knows that previous contacts and the existing interpersonal relationship prevent a real and in-depth analysis of emotions. A visit to a psychologist is an opportunity to realize what we really feel, because emotions will not be distorted by previous experiences (others are towards a friend, others towards a priest, others towards parents - we have different ideas about their attitude towards us, their sensitivity, etc.) - we come to a psychologist as a "clean card". It gives an opportunity to take a close look at your emotions as they are without the "superstructure" resulting from the situation, experience, knowledge.

It is assumed (especially in psychoanalysis) that the phenomenon of transfer plays a very important role in therapy - the patient transfers emotions and relations important for him/her to the therapist and the analysis and therapy can be based on this situation.

Show the emotions that we are hiding
There are emotions that we hide from other people - because we are ashamed, afraid, we do not want to think about them. It is worth talking about such emotions with a psychologist - the relationship with the therapist excludes the assessment, and assumes full acceptance. We don't have to be afraid of the therapy - we can talk about everything. A good psychologist will make it easier. Not without significance is also the atmosphere of the place where the therapy takes place. The Development House was designed with this in mind.

There are also emotions, thoughts and memories that we hide from ourselves. The role of a psychologist is to make us aware of what we do not want to know and to confront us with it. Such a confrontation often has a therapeutic value - sometimes it is worth talking about a difficult emotion or memory to stop influencing our lives. Even if we are not aware of this influence at the beginning.