Do you often find yourself working more than your colleagues? Are you the one your boss relies on for sensitive projects that require in-depth knowledge and high accuracy? Do you commonly fix your peers’ mistakes and get nothing but a big thank you and a pat on the back as a reward? Then you are probably a key asset of your team and a reliable person, but also one that has problems with setting boundaries and saying no every once in a while.
There is nothing wrong with being helpful and friendly, especially with those who are at the beginning and hardly manage to keep up with the rapid pace of day to day activities. Nonetheless, probably not all your colleagues really need the help they are asking for. In most cases, a simple suggestion or a few tips could help them solve the problems they’ve encountered on their own, without your practical involvement. However, the inconvenience in this case is that they would have to work more and take more responsibility for their actions and this means more stress and less free time.
No matter how good you want to be or how much you long for appreciation, it is essential to know how to set some boundaries at work, otherwise, you will invest tremendous amounts of time and energy solving other people’s task or cleaning up their mass.
In order to manage to establish these boundaries, first of all you must learn where your limits are. How much time can you spend on one given project and still meet the deadline? How many projects can you handle simultaneously? What are you really capable of doing with the skills set you already possess and where do you need more training? These are questions that will help you understand where you should set your threshold. Once you’ve answered these questions, you can slowly move towards phase number two: saying no.
There should be no shame or fear in politely refusing to do something on the job, provided that you have valid reasons to do so. If a colleague asks you to help him finish a task and you already know that working by his side or for him would compromise your ability in meeting your own deadlines, you should have no problems in explaining this situation to him. If you rush to say yes without thinking twice, you might need to do some extra hours, work from home until you deliver or simply face some unnecessary stress because you were afraid to reject someone’s help request.
Moreover, if you do it one time, people will expect you to do it every time. If you get yourself a reputation for being that nice colleague that always does other colleagues’ work as well, you shouldn’t be surprised that everybody will turn to you for help.
The same ability to set boundaries between you and your peers should also reflect in your relationship with your superiors. Just because your boss asks you to do something, it doesn’t mean you are automatically forced to comply. When necessary, use reason and logical arguments to explain to him why you really cannot be assigned any more tasks or finish a project in due time.
When you present your arguments, don’t rely on emotions, but on real facts. You should not make it look like you are complaining or avoiding work. You have to make him understand that you are not fit for a particular job because you lack some abilities or that it is humanly impossible to finish in 4 days a project that requires 8. Be precise, accurate and straightforward when supporting your cause.
Boundaries are necessary in any type of relationship as they set clear rules about how people should approach you. Without boundaries, there would be no respect and the consequences would most likely be rage and frustration. Don’t be afraid to point out to where your limits are and prevent others from crossing them.
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